***** = Must be seen before you die.
**** = Really good.
*** = Worth seeing, but you won't die for lack of it.
** = A waste of time, but one or two good moments.
* = You'll lose two IQ points watching this one.
-0 = This will make you want to kill yourself, but only
after you have mounted a water tower with a
rifle and taken out as many innocent bystanders
as time allows.time allows.
This rating was invented after viewing The
Rules of Attraction. ( -0, Less Than Zero, ya
know?)
after you have mounted a water tower with a
rifle and taken out as many innocent bystanders
as time allows.time allows.
This rating was invented after viewing The
Rules of Attraction. ( -0, Less Than Zero, ya
know?)
1. Casablanca (1942) *****
2. Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1 (2012)
****
3. Les Miserables (2012) *****
4. Muddy Waters & The Rolling Stones
Checkerboard Lounge, Live Chicago, 1981 ****
5. The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) ***
6. The Three Stooges (2012) ***
7. The Unknown (2011) **
8. Blade Runner (1982)
9. Pickup on South Street (1953) **
10. Sebastian Maniscalco: What's Wrong With
People (2011) ****
11. Ossessione (1943) ***
12. The Killers (1964) *
This one prompts me to write my first mini-review. I saw this movie on a couple of lists of the top noir films. Having watched it, I couldn't imagine why--until I saw that there was a 1946 version. Hopefully it's a better film. This version, though, couldn't be much worse. It starts off well, with Lee Marvin (who plays a great tough guy here) and some other guy as sunglassed hitman who take down a guy teaching in a school for the blind. Shortly thereafter, though, the story goes in retorgrade motion, absolutely destroying the momentum it had at the start. This pattern repeats itself as the movie progresses. There are a few nice bits here and there--Ronald Reagan (establishing the political philosophy which will stand him in good stead in future years) saying, "I approve of larceny; homicide is against my principles." A young Angie Dickinson attempting to be sexy (and falling seriously short). Norman Fell (is he Jack Klugman's clone or something?) saying "No sweat" after the bad guys turn up the heat on him in the steam room. Mostly, though, it was just a matter of fucking up a perfectly good story by trying to make it more complicated than it needed to be.I'm going to have to let this one pass out of my system before I try the 1946 version.
13. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (Extended Edition, released 2011) *****
This version of TGWTDT weighs in at 3 hours and 7 minutes--which is 34 minutes longer than the original (2010) release. And the good news is . . . it took the film from the great level to the classic level. There are just a few added scenes here and there, but they add an amazing richness to the main characters, primarily in terms of humor. If you know your William Hazelitt, you know that emotional response in the audience is heightened by contrast--hence "On the Knocking at the Gate in Macbeth," and the superb use of contrast (emotional disonance) in shows like M*A*S*H. To go from a laugh at Mikael Blomkvist (played by Michael Nyqvist--guess it was meant to be, eh?) dancing in his underwear to the gruesome images of murdered women is so disorienting that it actually makes you feel ashamed. And that, hopefully needless to say, is good. It makes the impact of the movie not only greater, but also more personal. You actually become involved in the events of the movie. And that's what great art is all about, right?
14. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) ****
15. Nick of Time (1995) **
Actually, this is ** instead of * only because of Charles S. Dutton, who plays the shoeshine man. Dutton is a great actor, and it's shameful that he's relegated to bit parts in two -bit movies. Everything in this movie that is not Dutton is tired, including Johnny Depp and Christopher Walken. You've seen everything in this movie several times before. Except Dutton. Which is why the next movie I wanted to see was . . .
16. Bad Ass (2012) ***
. . . "starring" Chalres S. Dutton . . . although he doesn't actually show up until 38 minutes in to the 90 minute movie. A lot of this movie was been there, done that, too (see Nick of Time comments), but Danny Trejo did such a great job in the lead that it was still worth watching. Take a look at the trailer.
Speaking of Danny Trejo, he sure had made a lot of shit movies over the years, and that's a damn shame, 'cause he's really good--very charismatic, very charming. And, of course, quite believable as The Bad Ass.
Be forewarned, however: there is a horrible scene involving a bad guy in the kitchen. When Frank pulls the Bad Husband into the kitchen, you may want to shut your eyes and plug up your ears for a couple of minutes.
17. The Limits of Control (2009) ** or ***
I'm not at all sure what I think about this movie. It's directed by Jim Jarmusch, which is good. The soundtrack is disturbing and unique, which is good. There is a good looking woman who is naked in most of her scenes, which is good. And the guy who plays the lead is quite interesting and engimatic. Good? Good. But the plot is so thin it hardy exists, and there is very litle dialogue. And you never find out why the protagonist always order two cappuccinos. Hence 2 or 3 ***.
18. NYPD Blue: Season One (1993) *****
It's been awhile since I've really sunk into NYPD Blue. Not sure why I did in the past couple of weeks, but I'm glad I did. What a fantastic show. In the same way that The Walking Dead isn't really about zombies, NYPD Blue isn't really about cops busting bad guys. In fact, both shows--and maybe all great shows--are essentially about the same thing: the subtle nuances of human behavior and the intrinsic nobility of (at least some) human beings. Both series betray a bedrock belief in the capacity of human beings to show compassion, kindness, and strength. Both series show the ability of human beings to endure horrific circumstances, to be completely crushed and rise back up, to be destroyed by love (or the lack thereof) and dare to trust and love again. I don't think there are many shows like this around--and I suspect that they will become fewer in the near future. (I'm thinking about how at least one reviewer said that the new Les Miserables movie was "too emotional." As if there was something unsophisticated about expressing strong emotions.
Anyway, great season. My favorite episode title: "A Sudden Fish." My favorite moment: when Andy tells the parents who have lost their child & believe that his spirit has returned as a white bird surrounded by a light, "Yeah, I do see a kind of light." (From memory--I didn't go back to check for the verbatim.)
19. Enlightened: Season One (2011) ****
20. Sons of Anarchy: Season One (2008) ****
Took a little taste of this show a while back, but didn't think it was my cuppatea. Then heard that Jimmy Smits was involved in it in some way, so went back to have another look. I think I started with the last two shows of the fourth season. Which interested me enough to go back to the first show of Season One, and I've just finished working my way through it. It was good shit, too. I am definitely going on to Season Two, and I can't imagine not continuing on from there. Maybe by the time I finish Season Four for real Season Five will be released so I can see that ole Jimmy Smits.
21. Compliance (2012) *****
22. A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) **
Not really a good day, actually.
23. Lilyhammer (2011) ****
Oh, man, what a great show. And "Little Stevie" is great as the former Mafia man who's been transplanted to a small town in Norway. But--not that I have any room to talk, I realize that--it's a bit astonishing when the image in your mind's eye is a slim young rocker and you see a rotund older man. It's just a bit startling, ya know? Anyway . . . one of the sources of humor here is the depiction of the Norwegians as Super Hippies. One of my favorite of these moments thus far was when Frankie got locked up in a Norwegian jail. It's a must see, so just check out Episode 6, "Pack Your Lederhosen." There's also a bit of the ultraviolence on ocassion, which is a bit dissettling, but it's pretty much a necessity given the storyline.
24. The Neverending Story III (1994) *
Oh my my. Check the blog entry on this one: HERE.
25. Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) **
26. Crocodile Dundee (1986) *****
27. Enlightened: Season 2 (2013) ****
28. The Ring (2002) ***
29. Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001) *
I realize that II was not good, but this one . . . Jesus. There are few things sadder than seeing an actor reprise a role in a movie which is so immensely inferior to its previous incarnation. As you can see (above). the first movie is one of my all-time favorites. The second one, which I have not watched for some time, did not make much of an impression on me, but I don't think there's any reason to seek it out. All I can say about III is that if it were in my power I'd vaporize every existing copy and memory wipe everyone--including myself--who had laid eyes on it.
30. Bringing Out the Dead (1999) ****
When Nicholas Cage is good, he's really good. As in Birdy. Raising Arizona, Adaptation, and Bringing Out the Dead--and hopefully some I haven't seen, as he has made a hell of a lot of movies, and all the other ones I recognize and/or remember are stinkers--he's really good. There's a kind of mumbling bashfulness to him that really appeals to me. The kind of guy you want to make good, but are pretty sure that he won't. Sigh. IMDb lists 72 movies for Nick. He's 7 years younger than I am. If he's washed up, what am I?
31. Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012) * . . . but that's kind of the point, isn't it?
32. Lincoln (2012) *****
Daniel Day-Lewis is amazing. The most amazing thing about this movie was, of course, his performance . . . but the second most amazing thing was how funny it was. And in a very real, character-driven way. Tommy Lee Jones has never meant much to me, but he was superb in his role as well.
33. Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence [Senjō no Merī Kurisumasu (戦場のメリークリスマス), also known as Prisoner of War in many European editions] (1983) *****
34. G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) ****
That's right, four stars . . . take that, haters. This was a fun movie. The Rock was awesome and pretty, Bruce Willis was casually (and phenomenally) Bruce Willis (Q: "Are you okay, sir?" A: "Well, my cholesterol's a little high . . . . ), and lots of shit blew up. There were some tender moments (Duke playing with Road Block's kids), a really good looking gal (Adrianne Palicki . . . who appears in one scene in a teeny tiny jogging outfit which is sure to put you into the aerobic zone if you're even faintly male and heterosexually-oriented), and some truly terrific action sequences. What the hell more do you want? If you don't enjoy this movie you're a hopeless snooty kabootie.
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