Wednesday, January 2, 2019

The Movie I Saw 2019

***** = Must see. 
****   = Really good. 
***     = Worth seeing. 
**       = A waste of time, but one or two good moments.
*         = Not worth your time.
-0       = Less Than Zero.

1. The Taming of the Shrew (1980) * Surprise for me: John Cleese as Petruchio. But this is a vile play, and the movie is slightly more vile as it adds in physical violence towards servants and women. (The play stuck to verbal violence and the occasional withholding of food and sleep.) I was going to watch the Richard Burton / Elizabeth Taylor version just to see if there was any improvement there, but couldn't find it online for free and certainly am not going to pay for it. Maybe if LFPL has a copy I'll check it out. Not that I have much hope for it, given the source material, but still, we're talking Elizabeth Taylor, man. Details as they happen.

2. Game of Thrones Season Five (2015) *** To some extent, my interest in the show is picking up. Part of it is that I stopped watching the commentary tracks, and that led to watching more episodes in a shorter amount of time. And part of it is, indeed, that I am getting caught up in some the storylines. But quite a few (no spoilers) of the characters I liked most are gone now. And the plot is getting to be more and more zombie-centric. And...well...the zombies just aren't all that well done. Maybe The Walking Dead has spoiled me on that. You know, it's funny: I have a friend who told me he has no interest in The Walking Dead because he thinks that the idea of zombies is stupid. Yet he is an avid fan of Game of Thrones. Hey, folks: it's a zombie show. I would probably like it even more if it weren't...but it is what it is. So just own up to it. 

I almost hit my tipping point in one of the later episodes when a little kid was burned at the stake. I was thinking that this was going to be it for me. The unrelenting brutality of the show is definitely not my cup of tea. But I think I'm still going to watch Seasons Six and Seven (both of which are available through the public library)...and Eight when it comes out (though I'm not sure how I'll manage that one yet)...but I think I have now officially abandoned the idea of reading the books. It just doesn't seem like a useful expenditure of my reading time anymore. 

Or I might just say fuck it and never watch the show again.

3. Game of Thrones Season Six (2016) ** Just when you think things can't get any worse...they get worse. A baby and its mother are fed to dogs. A man's face is torn off by those same dogs...just before he is eaten by them. The depravity factor is just way too high for me at this point. I have Season Seven waiting for me at the library, but I don't really feel like going to pick it up. Might not. I'll think on it for a day or two and see if my interest in Tyrion and Jaime Lannister is enough to prompt me to watch these last seven episodes. 

4. Game of Thrones Season Seven (2017) **  Heading towards that * for me now. The last two episodes of this season were just RIFE with ridiculousness and absurdity. Not even cruel stuff this time--just stupid stuff. Story flaws. I watched 77 episodes and all I got was this? I don't know if I even care enough to watch the Eighth Season when it comes out. I sure as hell won't pay anything for it.

5. The Taming of the Shrew (1967) * Oh, my. A vile piece of work. https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2018/12/the-shake-speare-project.html for details.

6. Welcome to Marwen (2018) ***** Forget about the box office, forget about the critics...this was a truly great movie. Glad I saw it on the big screen before it disappeared, and I will certainly watch it again in the near future.

7. The First Part of King Henry VI (1983) ** It's pretty hard to say that this was worth seeing at all, since it was so tedious that I had a hard time focusing on it. And it was so long...over three hours. I'm not sure how that happened, as the play itself is pretty short. I thought it would take like an hour...literally. But they didn't talk slowly. And there was quite a bit of action, actually. More than I'd have thought possible for a stage play, which this more or less was. It must have cost a pretty penny to make, actually. All the costumes, some special effects, even. Anyway, watching this made me want to check out The Hollow Crown, which looks like it might be a better version of this whole play sequence. Put it on the list --and then none of them be missed.

8. The Second Part of King Henry VI (1983) ** Pretty much the same as for The First Part. Except more bitchy women this time around. And some witchcraft. 

9. Toy Story 3 (2010) *** Not as good as the first or second ones, but this does have its moments, for sure. I was particularly fond of the Spanish Buzz segments. As I was enjoying them, though, I couldn't help but think of an NPR segment I listened to in which a guest declared that The Mikado AND The Nutcracker were both offensive because of their cultural insensitivity...and of course if you believe that, you'd have to say the same thing about Spanish Buzz, wouldn't you? Which is, to me, further proof that that kind of talk is just bullshit. And I still love The Mikado. Not so much The Nutcracker, but hey, once you've seen a show more than a half-dozen times, it gets a little thin. (It's Jacqueline's Go-To Christmas show, so we have seen it every year since 2010.)

10. At Eternity's Gate (2018) ***** Superb movie. And Willem Dafoe, who can chew scenery by the metric ton, was superb...and very restrained most of the time. 

11. The Kid Who Would Be King (2019) ** But mostly pretty much what you would expect. Speaking of...where would Hollywood be without King Arthur, Robin Hood, and Shakespeare's plays?


12. Ted 2 (2015) **** Didn't mean to watch the whole movie, but happened upon it when it started and couldn't pull out. It is just so fuckin' funny, man.

13. The Third Part of King Henry VI (1983) ***** Well, first off:




First time I've ever seen a blizzard onstage. Beyond that, this was a very impressive play--as were parts one and two--in that the cast is huge, there are onstage battles, all of that...but it was kind of hard to get into. For one thing, keeping track of the characters was impossible for me. For another thing, the scenes tended to be short and unsweet. And for another another thing, everybody was yelling most of the time. Which is understandable, given the circumstances, but is still off-putting. It was like listening to Hilary Clinton give a speech. Even if you like her (which I do), you kind of wish she'd just shut the fuck up after a few minutes.

14. The Punisher: Season 2 (2019) *** Way too violent for me. If there was a PG-13 version, it'd be ****. 

15. The Hollow Crown: Richard II (2012) **** All this and Patrick Stewart, too? What's not to like? Onward to Henry IV, Part I, I think. By the way...Joe decided to join me on this one, and I think he really liked it. For one thing, we didn't quite finish at our first sitting, and a couple of days later he asked if we could finish it up. So yep, my kid likes Shake-speare. Me, too.

16. Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (2019) *** If you like documentaries about people who get too big for their britches and try to balls it through by hoodwinking hundreds of people out of their money...which I have to admit I do...then this is the documentary for you.

17. Derry Girls Season One (2018) **** They had me at Ireland, but throw in a good dose of humor, an unexpectedly serious and touching season finale moment, and an exceptionally hot young Jamie-Lee O'Donnell, and this show had everything I needed for the nonce. Here's hoping there's a Season Two in the pipes.

18. The Hollow Crown: Henry IV, Part I (2012) **** Joe got into this, too, which was cool. And he was actually much better at keeping track of who was who that I was.

19. The Hollow Crown: Henry IV, Part II (2012) **** And did I mention that this time around we had Jermey Irons AND Tom Hiddleston in starring roles? Both did good jobs. In fact, Hiddleston was really superb.

20. High Flying Bird (2019) ***** Even if you're not an NBA fan, this is must-see stuff. In fact, it's really not about basketball at all.

21. Get Me Roger Stone (2017) ***** If you thought that you hated Stone and Trump before, wait until you get a load of this stuff. Sheesh, what a couple of sleaze bags. I had to take a shower after watching this, but it was definitely worth doing.

22. Widows (2018)  -0 A few good moments, actually, but some truly awful shit, too...like a man in a wheelchair being beaten and repeatedly stabbed. Mos def not worth your time.

23. The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018 ) * Wow, what a disappointment this was. Lisbeth Salander does not make the transition to Action Hero...and it's kind of shameful that they tried to do this to her, I think. 

24. Comedy of Errors (1982) ** / UU   Not very good, but (1) it was cool to see Roger Daltery in this kind of thing and (2) there was quite a bit of nice cleavage in this movie. I guess that sounds rude to point out, but these women had no chagrin about pointing out, so what  the heck.

25. A Star is Born (2018) * You know, I was actually kind of anxious to see this movie. Now I'm sorry that I did. I had several friends tell me how much they liked it, how moving it was, allathat...and I like both Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper...but my God, this movie was just terrible. The worst aspect of it, I think, was this it seemed to be a movie about the Rock Star world that didn't have the slightest idea how rock concerts work. There was a falsity to pretty much every moment that involved concerts...and, actually, pretty much to every other moment in the movie as well. I mean, the Kris Kristofferson version was corny, but it had a hell of a lot more heart than this pitiful thing. Save your $1.80 and see Green Book instead.


26. Alita: Battle Angel (2019) ***** What can I say? This was a brilliant movie. It seems to be under-performing at the box office--according to Wikipedia, it currently has a Box Office of $289.2 million against a $200 million budget, and that is not going to cut the mustard, unfortunately. And on the one hand that surprises me, because this movie has some really intense action, some great visual effects, and a coherent story which is at times quite touching. One the other hand it doesn't surprise me, because I liked it, and it's seldom that the movies I like do well at the B.O. I really hope Anyway...here's hoping that they do the planned sequel, because there's obviously some more story to be told.


27. Frank Zappa: Apostrophe (')/Over-Nite Sensation (1997) **** This was one of those Classic Album Documentaries...and it was quite good, really interesting, had lots of cool people interviewed, and immediately sent me looking for more Zappa music. Interesting thing: I found this for free on the Filmrise app which I happened upon on my Roku player, but when I went for some information on it I found that you have to pay $6.99 to watch it on Amazon (only option is to buy it in SD). Pays to shop around, I guess. 

1  Well, "free": you have to watch a WHOLE LOT of commercials to get your 4997 minutes of doc here. 



28. Richard III (2016) **** I'm sorry to say that although I was in the room whilst Henry VI Parts I and II were playing, I didn't pay enough attention to them to say that I watched them. (Or, for that matter, Henry V.) I was interested...but so was Joe, and when he gets onto something he really drills down, and I'm just not capable of watching as much tv as he is. But I came back for Benedict Cumberbatch in Richard III, and it was mos def worth it. He does a really brilliant job of it. In fact, I may have to go back and watch some of the parts I skipped just to get the full effect of his performance.

29. Captain Marvel (2019) ** I know I'm supposed to like this movie a lot more than I did...but it just didn't work for me. There were some good moments, for sure...some ha ha, some touching stuff...but there were too many Wow, That Was Really Stupid moments for me. Like...an airplane is refitted to be a spacecraft...in a couple of hours. For fuck's sake. And that's by no means the only moment like this...it's just one that doesn't spoil much. So, no...not for me. This movie will do well for the same reason that Black Panther did: because people are going to embrace it for reasons other than the quality of the storytelling. And that's fine. There should be more Not Just Sexy roles for women. (That said, I think they made Brie Larson pretty sexy...which is another strike against the movie for me. You want a believable female Captain Marvel? Give me Frankie Adams, who plays Roberta "Bobbie" Draper (Martian Marine gunnery sergeant) in The Expanse. Now there's someone who looks like they could kick some serious ass.


30. The Meg (2018) *** You know...this was actually a very entertaining movie. Stupid as hell, of course, but hey...it passed the time. And it wasn't nearly as gross as you'd think it would be. So I give it two snaps up with a twist.

31. Alpha (2018) ***** This was a truly great movie. And it managed that feat with very few spoken words...none of which were in English. Bring on Omega, man! (Or at least Beta.)

32. Shazam⚡(2019) ** I didn't expect much from this movie...but I got even less than that. There were a few good moments, but they were floating in a morass of stupidity, mean-spiritedness, and completely inept script writing. It actually seemed as if the movie would forget what was going on every two or three minutes. Give your wallet a break and wait for this on Redbox if you feel that you really have to see it...but at $1.86 you're going to feel like you got cheated. Guarantee it.

33. Mary Poppins Returns (2018) **** I really enjoyed this movie...and not just because Emily Blunt is 🌶. It was fun, had some good songs, and was visually adventurous. It also had some of the most intense colors I've ever seen in a movie. How'd they make that happen on my beat up old tv? Dunno, but it worked for me.

34. Aquaman (2018) *** This didn't seem very good at all the second time around. Stupid story, amazingly stupid villains. Nice colors, though. And Jason Momoa is cool. 

35. The Umbrella Academy (2019) **** This was quite a surprise. I had read the first three issues of the comic book and was less than impressed, but decided to give the show a try anyway. And there is almost no relationship between the comic book and the tv series. Just the general outlines--characters and major plot things. But while the comic book is vapid and cliche and uninteresting, the tv series is witty and engaging and even poignant. This isn't an adaptation...this is...GENocide!


36. Das Rheingold (1990) **** Really enjoyed this...as did Joe, which was a little bit of a surprise. I was so enthralled with the guy who played Alberich (the "villain"), Ekkehard Wlaschiha, that I looked him up to see what else he had played in. And found out that he had just died six weeks ago. 

37. If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) ***** I am not the least bit facetious or self-hating when I say that right now I do not like white people. But even so, this was a truly great movie that everybody should see. Especially Donald J. Trump.

38. Avengers: Endgame (2019) **** Yes, it was a gigantic Hollywood movie. It was also good. Quite good. 

39. Deadpool 2 (2018) * Still sucked, but not quite as much...I guess because I was prepared for the awful stuff.

40. Peppermint (2018) -0 There was not a single moment in this movie that I actually believed.

41. Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019) * You know, the trailer made this look like it'd be a fun little movie with some light laughs. I wish I had stuck the the trailer, because this was a really bad movie. Amazingly bad. 

42. Lucifer Season 4 (2019) ** Big dive for this show. So much so that after awhile I found myself not even paying attention to the thing very much. A shame, because it used to be quite good. At least Inbar Lavi (as Eve) was hot, which helped to pass the time.

44. Game of Thrones Season 8 (2019) *** Meh. Definitely my least favorite season...and a disappointment. 

45. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) ** Not good, for sure...but not nearly as big as I thought it would be, either. Might be worth a Redbox rental. (MIGHT be.)

46. Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) ** The only thing I actually found interesting about this movie was the brief touch of King Kong. I guess that's next, huh?

47. Chernobyl (2019) ***** A truly stunning mini-series. 

48. Shaft (2019) ** A really really really bad movie. Gets an extra * for including 76 year old Richard Roundtree, though. 

49. Men In Black International (2019) -0 Oh, my. I hope Chris Hemsworth hasn't come to the end of his Marvel contract yet. He needs them more than they need him, apparently.

50. Jessica Jones Season 3 (2019) **** Sorry that this is not only the last of Jessica Jones, but of Marvel Netflix en toto. All of these shows have been worth watching, and some have had truly excellent moments. Especially Daredevil. Oh, well. Maybe the Mouse will bring 'em back once that platform gets going.

51. A Dog's Way Home (2019) **** I didn't want to see this at all. But Joe spotted in in a trailer and was on the watch for it when it was Redbox time, and I would sit next to him through just about any movie (with a book in hand, of course). But even though there was plenty to dislike about this movie (the cgi cougar being a big one), there was enough heart to keep pulling me back into it, and I ended up watching the whole damned thing. Hmpf. As the credits were rolling, I saw Edward James Olmos's name, and I had to do a little search to see who he was in the movie, because I hadn't "seen" him at all. And there he was...in a pretty big minor part, too, so I don't know how I missed recognizing him. And Ashley Judd and Bryce Dallas Howard (who voiced the lead doggie), too? Yep. And yep, I even got a little choked up at the end...even though you could see that one coming from several miles away.

52. The Kid (2019) ** Another Joe choice. It had a moment or two, but it was pretty rough stuff...and I really didn't enjoy seeing Chris Pratt act like a nasty son of a bitch. It was also a bit disconcerting to see Adam Baldwin in such a two-bit part. Really? Ethan Hawke did a good job as Pat Garrett, though, so there's that. And Dane DeHaan was quite impressive as Billy the Kid. He has made some piss poor movies, but I think he's a good actor. Maybe he just needs a better agent. Oh...and the kid who played the titular kid (who is NOT Billy the Kid, which I thought was kind of clever)--Jake Schur--was impressive. And hey...apparently this was his first role. Pretty awesome to hit the ground with the lead role in a $7 million movie. (Too bad it lost $5.5 million. I think it probably deserved a lot better than that.)

53. 12 Years a Slave (2013) ***** A hard movie to watch, but I think everybody should watch it. I sat and cried for several minutes at the end of it. 

54. Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) *** It was okay with flashes of very good. 


55. A Dog's Purpose (2017) **** Joe wanted to see this, and it turned out to be surprisingly good, with some very poignant moments. The main concept here is precisely that of Joe Peacock's unpublished novel, which was a little dissettling. Man, I miss Joe.

56. Forever (2018) *** Jimmy recommended this. I probably would have liked it a little bit more if I didn't have such an antipathy for the lead actors, but I tried to get over it and did to some extent. Enough to where I might could watch a season 2 if Amazon decides to go there.

57. The Born Losers (1967) *** This is a brutal movie. Multiple rapes, lots of beatings, and other assorted acts of violence. It's also clunky as hell, and there are times when it seems like the actors are reading from cue cards that are just barely offscreen. But even with all its faults, it kind of worked, too. For one thing, it does a terrific job of slow burning the confrontation between the titular bad guys (a motorcycle gang) and the misunderstood good buy, Billy Jack. So...onward to Billy Jack! (Yes, I did buy the four movie set.)

58. Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw (2019) ** Well, first off, that's just a bad title, isn't it? And on top of that...well, it's just a really bad movie. I like Dwayne Johnson, I like Jason Statham, I like Idris Elba, and I kind of like Vanessa Kirby. But there was very little I liked about this movie. Admittedly, I'm bored with long fight scenes and car chases...and that comprises a big chunk of this movie...but even more than that, it was just stupid. If you've seen the trailers, you've seen every good thing in this movie. Oh, and Ryan Reynolds...who I usually love...was just awful here. Save your money. Go Redbox it if you have to. Shouldn't take it too long to get there.

59. Do the Right Thing (1989) ***** I don't know if I've seen this movie in thirty years, but it sure worked for me today. A riveting, puzzling, funny, tragic, terrible, frustrating, superb film. 

60. Firefly (2002) ***** You know, re-watching this series it was obvious that there were a few awkward steps here and there as they were finding their way...but not many. And all in all, I am pretty sure that this is my favorite television series ever. Time to rewatch the movie now.

61. Coriolanus (2011) ***** A truly great movie...so it should come as no surprise that it lost $6 million at the box office (with a $7 million budget). 

62. Cleopatra (19643) -0 I can't even begin to tell you how awful this movie was. Tedious, histrionic, terrible score...just amazingly bad. 


63. Under the Skin (2013) *** Well, I really just wanted to see Scarlett Johansson naked, and that was good, for sure, but this is one weird and creepy ass movie. And I don't really mean that in a good way. It's probably worth seeing...especially if you want to see SJ naked, because I don't think you can get there anywhere else...but be prepared to be creeped out pretty much from minute one until the end. 

64. 1/3 of Coming to America (1988) -0 I usually don't include movies that I don't make it through, but in this case, just in case someone else is reading this, I have to say, Save your time. And money, if there's any of that involved. This movie is so Not Funny that it's unbelievable. And it was just virulently racist...AGAINst black people. They are depicted as savages, dumbasses, and thieves. This is even worse than Black Panther, man. You will feel IQ points molting from your brain as you watch this thing. I was seduced into checking it out by the CNN show about the movies, wherein I saw that Eddie Murphy, whom I have loved, doing multiple parts...but even that shit wasn't funny in context. It's just an awful, awful waste of celluloid.

65. Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) *** This was not a good movie, for sure...but there were a couple of good scenes. I also couldn't help but notice...and believe me, I tried NOT to notice...that the girl playing Dora...Isabela Moner...was a seriously sexy thang. Yeah, I know, but I checked before I wrote that, and she is 18. She also certainly does not shy away from presenting herself in a sexually provocative manner if you care to do an image search. (And I do recommend that you give that a go.) And as long as I'm being at least borderline inappropriate, I'll also confess that I was surprised to see that the usually svelte and sexy Eva Longoria was looking more than a little bit fat. Turns out she had a baby last year, so just sayin', but it did take me by surprise. 

66. Angel Has Fallen (2019) * There were actually a few moments when this movie was pretty exciting...like the big drone attack...but for the most part it was just incredibly stupid. You don't have to know much about the world to know that this is not how the world works. Here's hoping that the Has Fallen series end on this one, as I really don't want to have to see any more of this shit. (But Joe will want to go if they make more, so....)

67. A Dog's Journey (2019) **** What can I say? It was corny as all hell, and it still got to me. I had to hold back the tears at the end, FF'S.

68. Daredevil (2003) ** Okay, it's not good. And Colin Farrell's Bullseye is unbearable. But it still had a few moments.

69. Elektra (2005) ** Not a good movie, for sure. But you know, just seeing Jennifer Garner running in a red bustier was worth the price of admission for me. It's easy to forget how super hot Jennifer Garner is, since she doesn't spend all of her time flaunting her hotness the way most actresses do, but...well, she is Super Hot.

70. The Boys (2019) **** I wasn't planning on watching this show. Wasn't interested in ultra-violence and gore and misogyny, which is what I assumed it would be about. And I was right. But my #1son--who never reads comic books and doesn't watch much in the way of super-heroes shows and movies--watched the first episode and liked it so much that he blew through the rest of the series. So I gave it a go. And it was rough at times, for sure, but it definitely had some moments, too. For one thing, seeing Karl Urban*'s Billy Butcher was a truly great character. So, yeah. It was good. Good enough to watch season two when it comes out next year.

*The rebooted Star Trek's McCoy.

71. Encounters at the End of the World (2007) **** Holy shit, it's Werner Herzog! How on earth can this man still be alive? Well, actually he's only 76, so he might could still have a few films in him. I got this from the library because I wanted to see what it had to say about neutrinos...which turned out to be only five minutes of the film...but it was a very interesting movie, for sure. Antarctica stuff. Some beautiful underwater photography. In fact, I would guess that the underwater photography was the biggest chunk of the movie. 

72. Avengers: Endgame  (2019) **** I liked it less the sevond time around, but it was still pooty good IMHO.

73. Anatomy of a Murder (1959) *** I've been meaning to get around to this movie for some time. The Duke Ellington soundtrack. The cool poster art. Jimmy Stewart. And it was also nice to see a young George C. Scott and a few other familiar faces. And Lee Remick...well, she was a hot little number, wasn't she? But by the end of it I just didn't have a very good idea of why this movie existed. It could have had something to say about the way women were marginalized and mistreated...but it didn't. In fact, it pretty much undermined that possible theme, in part by making that hot little Lee Remick act like a horny puppy dog. So I think you can skip this one without damaging your heart and soul. 

74. Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase (2019) **** I thought this Katt Shea directed film was really good. It's no doubt in part because I have long had a little Nancy Drew thang going on, but there were parts of this movie that really swept you up...and that's what movies are for, right? It also had lots of positive messages for girls, and I don't think we get a whole lot of that. Certainly not as much as we need. So yes, two thumbs up for this movie. And here's hoping that it becomes the first of a series.

75. Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018) **** I had no interest in seeing this movie, but I ran across it whilst flipping channels and ended up watching for a bit...enough to think I might want to see more, so I hit the record button. Finally got around to it a week or so later and I have to say, this was a pretty brilliant movie, as much about loneliness and desperation as about literary forgery. Kudos to Melissa McCarthy, who really brought it home on this.

76. Cymbeline (2014) **** Most excellent "modern" rendering of the Shake-speare play.

77.  Undone Season 1 (2019) **** This was pretty close to a ***** must see for me...but there were a few things...especially in the first and last episodes...that damaged my calm a leetle bit. Still, it's well worth doing. it had the look of  Richard Linklater's Waking Life / A Scanner Darkly, which I thought not only fitting but even necessary given the way things played out here. There's just no good way to do hallucinations without a little rotoscoping. Anyway, this is really a three hour movie broken up into eight pieces...which makes it quite manageable. And it's about pretty much everything: mental illness, spirituality, Mestizo culture, time travel, philosophy, interpersonal relationships...etc. I don't know how there could be a season two, but I'm hoping for one anyway. Oh, and by the way, the lead is played by Rosa Salazar, who is (1) super sexy and (2) the actor who played the lead in Alita: Battle Angel, which I liked a lot. And speaking of liked a lot, Bob Odenkirk--of Better Call Saul fame--has a big part to play here, too, and he is most excellent. I think he also had a producer credit, but I couldn't find that on IMBd, so maybe I hallucinated that. 

78. Rambo: Last Blood (2019) -0 Wow. I knew this was going to be bad, but I was willing to sit through it for Joe. If I'd known HOW bad it was going to be, though, I'd have tried to get him to go Redbox on it. I'm sure it won't take long to get there. This was not only unrelentingly awful, it was mean, it was nasty, it was hateful. I'm sure many of those who support Trump will be delighted at the portrayal of Mexicans in this movie. (Big surprise: all but one of them are horrible, cruel, creatures who don't really even deserve to be called human beings.) There are also several glimpses of The Border Fence, and I couldn't help but think that there was an ulterior purpose there. Anyway...if you like seeing forty or fifty people murdered in horrible ways, if  you like scenes of torture, if you like seeing women brutalized...then this is the movie for you. As for me...I think I'm going to go watch a couple of hours of Downton Abbey to wash that Rambo right out of my hair.

79.  I watched The Station Agent (2003) instead...and it was just what the doctor ordered, for sure. What a great movie. What a ***** movie. Peter Dinklage and Bobby Cannavale were both superb, and Patricia Clarkson was not only superb, she was Super Sexy without doing any of the bullshit women usually do to appear to be sexy. Oh, and Michelle Williams had a small part in this, too, and she was quite good...and so young! I wouldn't have even recognized her without the credit. 

80. Downton Abbey (2019) **** What a delightful movie. I loved it so much that I am pretty sure that I'm going to have to go back and watch the whole series from beginning to end. (I only got to the end of Season 3 when I watched it before, so there's lots of new stuff to see there. Not that I actually have a lot of recall on seasons one through three. You know how that goes.)

81. The Joker (2019) ** and probably *...though I'm not positive. The movie takes a big dive in the final twenty or thirty minutes. It's a little uneven before that, but has some absorbing moments, too. And the cinematography is pretty impressive throughout. 

82. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) Say what you will, haters, I still like this movie a lot. I do wish that the  Anakin character had been played by someone a bit older..and perhaps more talented...but as for the rest, (1) I like Jar Jar Binks and find him amusing and (2) I still think that Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon Jinn is the best Jedi portrayal EVer. So far, anyway. So this is a **** for me.

83. Doom Patrol (2019) **** Gotta say I loved this show. It actually does a good job of catching that Grant Morrison weirdness that made his run on the comic book one of my all time favorite comic book story arcs. (Something that no other comic book writer has been able to do.) The special effects are not as strong as they could be, but I didn't really care. Also, Brendan Fraser is absolutely BRILLIANT as Cliff Steele / Robotman. And Diane Guerrero / Crazy Jane is so beautiful that it's worth watching the show for her alone. And on top of that we also get Alan Tudyk and Timothy Dalton? Sign me up for Season Two, boys.

84. Gemini Man (2019) *** Well...I like Will Smith. And there were some undeniably great action scenes here. But why oh why can't they get a competent writer for the stuff in between the kicking of the ass? Still worth seeing, if only (1) for the aforesaid action and (2) the amazing Young Will Smith computer work. But you won't miss anything by waiting for a minute and picking it up at Redbox.

85. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002) * The good things in this movie: (1) Natalie Portman's abs and (2) that black leather thingie Natalie Portman was wearing in the Scene By The Fire. The worst things in this movie (and it was hard to narrow it down to just a few): (1) Yoda sword fighting a guy who's four times taller than he is--just fuckin' ridiculous looking, (2) every scene Hayden Christensen was in, and (3) the stupid, we've seen it fifty times before, heroes fight monsters in an arena scene. 

86. Stuber (2019) ** There were some funny moments here, but it was a lot harder (violence-wise) than I thought or wished it to be. Dave Bautista certainly does have an interesting career. It veers between really good stuff like Blade Runner 2049 to good stuff like Guardians of the Galaxy to absolute shit like Kickboxer: Vengeance. (All of which I have, indeed, seen.) I guess it ain't easy being green, but I wish he could do some better stuff on a regular basis. I like him.

87. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) ** This was a little better than Episode II, but I think it'd be my next to least favorite of the Star Wars movies. For one thing, it gets nastier than I like my movies, what with the triple amputation of Anakin S. and the slaughter of children. For another, there are all kinds of story gaps, and they really irked me. There's just no excuse for sloppy writing in a $100 million movie. Plus all of the usual stuff that everybody hates. But yeah, I'm glad to have this behind me. Onward to Rogue One, which is mos def amongst my favorites of the series.

88. Malibu Express (1985) You know, I don't know how to rate this movie. It wasn't good, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. I think I'm just going to have to write a whole thing about Andy Sidaris and his ouevre. (I bought a collection of twelve of his movie...for $5.) For now, let's just quote Iggy Pop: "The tits are amazing." And while I wouldn't call this script funny, it was oddly amusing. And I was not bored for one second. 

And I'm halfway through another Sidaris movie already. News as it happens.

89. Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) My second Sidaris movie. This one had a fake snake which was kind of hilarious because it was SO FAKE. And the hero kills it with a bazooka, FFS. Yep, I can see myself watching about ten more of these movies, for sure. (I bought a 12 dvd set...for $4.99.) Onward and upward.

90. Black and Blue (2019) ** There's a good movie buried underneath the shit of this movie, but it just wasn't given a chance to see the light of day. Part of the reason is that whoever wrote this thing knows absolutely nothing about cops, relies upon stereotypes of black people whenever possible, and goes for the easy fix every time. I was also uneasy seeing Mike Colter, an actor I dearly love, playing a stereotype...but hey, you get work when you can, right? Anyway...if you must, then Redbox, for sure.

91. Savage Beach (1989) My third Andy Sidaris movie. This one was a little less good because it kept thinking it was actually a movie and would let as much as twenty minutes go by before it remembered to show some naked breasts, but to its credit, once they got back on track they had several bare breast scenes in a row, and I have to say that some of those were amongst the best breasts I have ever borne witness to. So there's that. I'm still ready for more.

92. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) **** Still one of and possibly my favorite Star Wars movie. Next up: my least favorite Star Wars movie, Solo

93. Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) * Mos def my least favorite star Wars movie. From what I hear, it lost a shitload of money...like at least $50 million...so I guess I should not feel so all alone on this opinion.

94. Shallow Hal (2001) *** Well, its heart was in the right place. And I do like Jack Black. But there was just a little too much mean-spiritedness in the movie for me. Even if the guy does want the fat girl by the end of it all.

95. Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) ** A few good moments, but for the most part this was just a slog for me. I don't think I've liked a Terminator movie since the first one, though, so maybe I'm not the best judge.

96. The Exorcist (1973) **** I don't think any horror movie could make it to Must See status IMO, but this one is damned close. And it still scares the shit out of me.

97. Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) **** Been awhile since I saw this one...but you know, it really holds up. 

98. The Kitchen (2019) *** This was actually a pretty good movie. Which surprised me, as it was much more violent than I am comfortable with (multiple sawing up of dead bodies in a bathtub--though not a whole lot of the actual sawing up was shown, thank God; the idea of it is bad enough). Also, I'd bought at least an issue of the comic book when it came out...possibly even two or three...but was not impressed and didn't stick with it until the end. And apparently it was a real box office bomb: according to Wikipedia, the budget was $38 million and the Box Office was only $15.8 million, and that is some bad math, ennit? One source of my enjoyment was the presence of James Badge Dale, as I have loved him since Rubicon. And even though he was a horrible person in this movie, I still liked seeing him again. Now, when is Rubicon coming out on dvd? I mean...come ON, AMC. Sheesh.

99. Charlie's Angels (2019) ** About what you'd expect, but I have to admit that Kristen Stewart was looking pretty hot, so at least there was that.

100. The Paper Store (2017) *** Full disclosure: I'm friends with the writers / director of this movie. I saw it shortly after it came out--when it was available for streaming--but when I wanted to see it again and it was no longer afs I bought a used copy from Amazon. At the end, I realized that Penn Badgley, one of the two protagonists, looked a lot like my friend David Wright. Hmpf.

101. Jesus Christ Superstar (2000) * Wow. I'm amazed that they could wreck this musical so completely. There were so many things wrong with this version that I really don't even know where to start. The Gay Nazi Biker interpretation of Pontius Pilate? The gang style clothing worn by the disciples? I could go on for quite a while, but I don't have the stomach for it. If you love Jesus Christ Superstar, you don't want to see this version.

102. Super Size Me 2: Holy Chicken! (2017) ***** A truly great movie, P.S. I'll never eat chicken again.

103. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019) ***** A beautiful movie, for sure. It also made me want to see some of the Mister Rogers's Neighborhood shows. 

104. Return of the Jedi (1983) *** Sorry, man, but I still hate those fuckin' Ewoks.

105. 21 Bridges (2019) ** Another movie that could have been a whole lot better if they'd spent an extra $50 on the script. Noteworthy, however, in that this was Jacqueline's first R rated movie. I was a little worried that all of the shooting people would be too much for her, but as usual I underestimated her--I had spent time prepping her for it, emphasizing that when people got shot onscreen and screamed that it was fake, and hamming up the screaming bit...and she ended up laughing just about every time a character was shot onscreen. Well...better than crying, ennit?

106. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016) *** I've been "reading" (listening to) the later books in this series of late, so I wanted to go back and have another go at the movie. Considering that it's a Tim Burton film, it actually works pretty well. I find myself hoping that they get around to making the rest of the series sometime soon.

107. The Force Awakens (2015) ** This is at least the third time I've seen this movie, and I'm still asking myself...why is this movie so popular? There are just so many holes in this script that I find myself shaking my head from start to finish. Ah, well. On to The Last Jedi.

108. The Salvation (2014) * I was anxious to see this when I saw that it starred Eva Green, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jonathan Pryce...especially Eva Green...but it was a waste of time. A very long hour and a half.

109. My Friend Dahmer (2017) ***** Well...I found a comic book at Half-Price called Trashed...and it was really good, so I went on ComiXology and found that there was a much longer version of that book...and that it was available for free reading on ComiXology Unlimited, so I read that. And then I saw that My Friend Dahmer, by the same author (Derf) was also available, so I read that, and it was really good, and then I found out that someone had made a movie of it, and that it was available for free courtesy of Kanopy. And? Wow. This movie really blew me away. Hard not to conclude that Dahmer would not have happened if not for (1) the bullying he endured at school, and (2) the absolute lack of awareness on the part of every adult in his life. To quote the New York Dolls: "What's wrong today is what's wrong with you." 

110. Ghost in the Shell (2017) **** This is at least the third time I've seen this movie...and I still love it. I'll admit that 40% of the attraction is Scarlett Johansson's tits, but that still wouldn't give it a passing grade in and of itself, so don't discount it on that account. I think this movie creates as solid a future world as Blade Runner, and the every time I see it I want more. Fortunately there is more...albeit in cartoon format...and I think I'm going to go have a deep dive on that right now.

111. Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi (2017) *** This still isn't up there with my favorite Star Wars movies, but it is so much better than The Force Awakens that it's ridiculous. Of course, part of that betterness comes from Mark Hamill, who is mighty. And now? We are ready for Episode IX...which comes out in two weeks. And yes, we do already have our tickets, as a matter of fact.

112. First Reformed (2017) **** This wasn't a great movie, but it had some great moments...and I think that Ethan Hawke might well be a great actor. It was also cool to see Cedric the Entertainer in a completely different kind of roll...and he nailed it to the wall. Well worth seeing.

113. What Dreams May Come (1998) *** Got this for Joe because he's a big Robin Williams fan and I thought it would be a change of pace for him--a movie not about people punching and shooting each other. And he enjoyed it. I did, too. It wasn't a great movie, for sure, and the special effects were not up to the task at all, but at least it was a movie with some thought behind it. And it was a movie about love and salvation, too. Hell, it probably should be a Must See on those counts alone.

114. The Bookshop (2017) ***** One of my favorite movies of the past year, for sure, and maybe even far beyond that--but I'll need to see it a few more times before I can say that. But I most definitely will see it a few more times, so that certainly says something, doesn't it?

115. Jean-Michel Basquiat: The Radiant Child (2010) **** Saw a Jean-Michel Basquiat shirt in Target (no, really) and it made me want to get back in touch with him, and there on Janopy was this lovely documentary. Quite entrancing. It really made me want to paint, too. 

116. Watchmen (2019) ***** I really didn't think that this was going to be very good. I mean, how can you follow up on that great 2009 movie? And besides, what would Alan Moore think? But this really worked. In fact, it was so great that it was better than the original movie. Even (sorry, Alan) better than the original comic book. Deeper. Wider. I'm looking forward to watching it again in the near future.

117. Wakefield (2016) ***  I really only got this movie because I was thinking about how hot Jennifer Garner is, and I wanted to see her. Bryan Cranston was a bonus. And then as the opening credits rolled, lo and behold...it was based on a story by E. L. Doctorow. Mr. Doctorow was the first writer I intentionally bibliography binged on. I remembered this story, but not the title. Still, watching it was at least interesting. And Jennifer showed a little boob, which was much to my liking. I was also glad to see that the special needs kids who play an important role in the movie were treated with respect. That's not something you get a whole hell of a lot of. The movie itself...well, it's pretty fucking mean-spirited, isn't it? A guy doesn't come home, starts living in his garage and spying on his wife and kids. Although it is an interesting metaphor for a writer. So I don't know if I'd recommend it per se. Unless you really like Jennifer Garner's boobs, in which case it's well worth your time. Just don't expect too much...she's not that kind of girl.

118. Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) ** Well, at least Karen Gillan was hot. And Dwayne Johnson was funny...especially when he was channeling Danny DeVito. And Kevin Hart, too...especially when he was channeling Danny Glover. So, yeah. But as for the rest of it...pretty much the SOS.

119. Touring the world's capital cities. 126, Reykjavik : the capital of Iceland  ** Interesting content, but one of the most inept videos I've ever seen...along with the next listing (120). And the music...my God, what were they thinking? I'd like to see more in the series, but may have to turn the sound off in order to make it.

120. Touring the world's capital cities. 111, Lisbon, the capital of Portugal **

121. Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2019) ** Almost nothing in this movie made sense to me...including the title. No spoilers here, but let's just say that I think this was one of the worse in the series...though not as bad as II or III, of course.

122. His Dark Materials (2019) **** This was so much better than The Golden Compass movie (2007) that it's ridiculous. I was also surprised / delighted to see James McAvoy in one of the lead roles (as Lyra's sonofabitch "uncle." 

123. Cats (2019) -0 Yowza. This was definitely one of the worst movies I've ever sat all the way through. Just mind numbingly stupid and boring and insipid. And what the hell is up with the snot trickling out of Jennifer Hudson's nose for almost ever second of her screen time? Is that supposed to make me feel something other than revulsion? What a fuckin' cry baby. Just a waste of time. And yes, I did lose five IQ points. Maybe more.

124. The Expanse: Season Four (2019) **** Superb show. Episode 9 was so intense that I was yelling at the screen. And the main issues weren't resolved by the end of that episode, either!

125. Little Women (2019) **** A most excellent rendition of the story...though a little bit confusing with all of the flashbacks to different eras. 

126. Earthworm Tractors (1936) ** Wow...so this was my last movie of 2019. Well, it wasn't good, but it was interesting. I found it for free on YouTube, after becoming interested in Earthworms Through the Ages by William Hamlet Upson. I'm still reading the book...which is truly funny and far, far superior to the movie.



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