573 pages.
Day 1 (DDRD 2,556) October 30, 2024
Read to page 50.
Big leap from Book One, which was a little disorienting ar first, but by the time I hit page 50 I was cruising along, and only Game 4 of the World Series could keep me from reading more.
Day 2 (DDRD 2,557) 🎃 October 31, 2024 🎃
Read to page 75. Busy day.
"...the life I led was not my own. I tried to make it mine, this was my struggle, because, of course, I wanted it, but I failed, the longing for something else undermined all my efforts." (69)
"...[P]erhaps it was the prefabricated nature of the days in this world I was reacting to, the rails of routine we followed, which made everything so predictable that we had to invest in entertainment to feel any hint of intensity." (Still 69)
Now that (⬆️) is some IFS*.
And on page 74:
Of COURSE he's reading Demons at the same time (so to speak) that I am. I'm not even surprised.
* Intense Fucking Shit
Day 3 (DDRD 2,558) November 1, 2024
Read to page 110. Another busy day. About half of this reading g was done in church (before the service
On the difficulty of reading Distoyevsky: "I was uncomfortable in Dostoyevsky's world." (96)
Just a few lines earlier, KOK said, "The threshold for reading [Dostoyevsky] became higher the less I read...." I'm not sure what he means by that, but it's clear that (1) he loves Dostoyevsky and (2) he finds Dostoyevsky difficult to read.
Also clear: KOK has antiquated views of men and women which border on misogyny and (2) he wants to fuck every pretty woman he sees, even though he has a wife and a young child at home.
Day 4 (DDRD 2,559) November 2, 2024
Read to page 150.
Referring to the boxing ring, KOK says, "There the values that the welfare state had otherwise subverted, such as masculinity, honor, violence and pain, were upheld...." (126)
What the fucking fuckety fuck????
Also...KOK mentions that a fellow writer / friend, Geir Angell Øygarden, had written a book entitled The Aesthetics of a Broken Nose. I thought that sounded interesting, so I went to have a look for books by thus Grid fellow. Amazon? Nope. Better World Books? Nope. Thrift Books? Nope. LFPL? Nope. Ebay? Nope. AbeBooks? 2! Neither in English. Neither 👃. Internet Archive? Nope.
Guess I won't be reading that book.
Another reason to learn Norwegian.
Day 5 (DDRD 2,560) November 3, 2024
Read to page 200.
Mention is made of the great(-est?) Norwegian writer, Tor Ulven. I searched high and low: one slim book of poetry on Amazon. Nothing else.
I'm 67 years old. It's too late to become a translator of Norwegian literature.
Isn't it?
I sure hope that "fucking a 13 year old girl" wasn't a real thing, as KOK says. That would definitely be the end of our reading relationship.
Day 6 (DDRD 2,561) November 4, 2024
Read to page 244.
Just took a peak to see how long A Raw Youth is, and happened upon this statement:
"One must be too disgustingly in love with self to be able without shame to write about oneself." Dostoyevsky, A Raw Youth.
Hmmm.....that's a bit in the nose, isn't it?
My book's been making some weird creaking noises as I read. Check out this bookbinding disaster waiting to happen:
What kind of idiot binds a book this way? The idiots at archipelago Books, that's who.
Day 7 (DDRD 2,562) November 5, 2024
Read to page 249. Yeah, only 5 pages. Busy day + election returns 😔.
Day 8 (DDRD 2,563) November 6, 2024
Read to page 282.
Hmmm. Is it just me, or is KOK an asshole? When his pregnant girlfriend starts bleeding, he tells her everything is fine and doesn't take her to see a doctor...because they're on vacation, visiting his mother. He throws a glass across the room during an argument. Etcetera. And you might think it's brave of him to write about himself in this way...but I don't get the feeling that he knows he is an asshole, which makes him an even bigger asshole. We've also never come back to the did you have sex with a 13 year old girl thing. I'm starting to wonder if it's time to get off this train.
Day 9 (DDRD 2,564) November 7, 2024
Read to page 323.
Speaking of his Russian neighbor, KOK says, "She's like any woman. Just very unhappy, an alcoholic and Russian. With an impulse control disorder (311)
Hmm. Sure sounds like a misogynist to me. And still no denial of the having sex with a 13 year old girl...even though there was another reference to that. Not good.
Today in The Possessed there was a Giving Birth scene which was quite riveting (and mercifully brief). Today in My Struggle there was a birth scene which was quite riveting and so extensive that I had to quit for the night only halfway through it.
Day 10 (DDRD 2,565) November 8, 2024
Read to page 360.
And today, as the Giving Birth scene continued, I felt myself remembering (in detail) Jimmy's Birth. Vividly. It was very scary, and concluded with an emergency C-section. Oh, those days.
Day 11 (DDRD 2,566) November 11, 2024
Hmmm. I missed reading yesterday, but somehow I've managed to mess up my date count, so it looks like I missed two days. There was a time when I would've spent many minutes (or more) tracking down the error, but that time is gone.
Read to page 390. I was so into Herscht 07769 that I almost passed on My Struggle 2 for a second day, but I managed to pull myself out and enjoyed 30 pages of KOK. Even though he again proves himself to be an asshole several times. He's incredibly selfish, for one thing. Maybe you have to be to be a writer...but I don't think so. Then afain, I can't exactly call myself a writer, can I? So what the fuck do I know.
Day 12 (DDRD 2,567) November 12, 2024
Read to page 410. Hospital volunteering, pottery class, dinner with son, daughter-in-law, granddaughter. Oh, plus gettin' stoned. Full day, so 20 pages on DDR2 = Not Bad.
Day 13 (DDRD 2,568) November 13, 2024
Read to page 440, so a mere 133 pages to go. The stop point for today's reading was quite moving: KOK reclaiming how he wanted to be whole, how he wanted to be good. And the image if him kneeling to receive communion is quite powerful...especially so given that he is not "a believer." But I still can't shake that story about having sex with a 13 year old girl. Was it just a scene in his novel, or did it really happens his friend said? It's a big deal, and I can't believe that KOK hasn't come back to it. If he did, I don't think I can continue to read his books. If he didnt, he needs to say so. Clearly. Loudly.
One funny thing. When I hit the end of a sentence on page 440, I had a passing thought: "Oh, a period!"
I've been Krasznahorkai-ized.
Day 14 (DDRD 2,569) November 14, 2024
Read to page 470.
So...KOK has been nominated for an award and has to give a speech. He fantasizes about what he will say: "Ladies and gentlemen. I don't give a shit about you, I don't give a shit about the book I've written, I don't give a shit if it wins a prize or not, all I want to do is write more." (444)
Then he fantasizes about spreading newspapers in front of the podium and shitting in front of the audience.
What a great guy.
Not to mention the Return of the 13 Year-Old Girl:
Maybe it's me, but I see (1) no indication that the rape of a 13 year old girl by her teacher (KOK) did not actually happen and (2) not the slightest shred of remorse. And when KOK's friend says, "...OK. She had to be screwed then." there is no push back from KOK.
So imaginary or not, to me this is still evidence of a truly depraved individual. Or two.
And I'm getting a bit tired of his nasty ass.
I'm going to finish this book, but this might be it for me and the rest of KOK's Struggle.
Deep breath.
In other news:
"What is the modern view of a prayer? There is only one kind of prayer for modern people and that is as an expression of desire. You don't pray unless there is something you want." (464)
So at least there's that.
ADDENDUM: It kept gnawing at my brain, so I Googled "Did Karl I've Knausgaard have sex with a 13 year old girl?"
SPOILER AHEAD
And at https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/the-form-of-the-small-life-karl-ove-knausgaards-my-struggle-book-six/
I found this:
"In Book Four, Knausgaard describes his uneasy relations with the teenage students he taught for a year in Northern Norway. In Book Six, he confesses that he had a “strong and secret desire” to sleep with one of them, a girl of 13. He did nothing to put that desire into action...."
So that's some relief. Why the duck KOK had to wait until Book Four to get around to that is more than a mystery, though. Surely I'm not the only one who was ready to bail on this book over this...right?
Right?
Read to page 520. Was going to just go ahead and finish it off, but Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul, so...🥊🥊
Of course, having secret desires for a 13 year old girl...even if you don't act on them...still seems pretty sick to me. However...which of us wouldn't look like a sick asshole if our every thought was made visible?
Day 16 (DDRD 2,571) November 16, 2024
Read to page 573 (The End).
Checked out another review, this one from NPR, and thought this final sentence was poignant: "His work makes you realize that each and every one of our lives contains rich enough material for a long, daunting book called My Struggle."
https://www.npr.org/2015/04/29/403046849/3-600-page-autobiographical-novel-is-an-honest-and-masterful-selfie
"What is the work of art if not the gaze of another person? Not directed above us, nor beneath us, but at the same height as our own gaze. Art cannot be experienced collectively, nothing can, art is something you are alone with. You meet i's gaze alone." (545)
And now...I think I'm going to lay off the Knausgaard for a day or two and concentrate on finishing Herscht 07769. This Two DDRs A Day is fun, but also quite taxing. And it leaves my brain a little tingly. I can't even guess how many times I stopped reading a passage in this book and stared at a period, baffled. (Because as if page 258, there have been no periods in Herscht 07769.)
But I think I'll be back for Book 3 venisoon.
🤞
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