DDR: Blue Lard by Vladimir Sorokin

Well...Blue Lard still hasn't shown up, even though it was shipped out four days ago. 

So I thought about starting something else--it's not like I'm lacking in To Be Read items. But I really want to start Blue Lard. Plus I'm sure it will come in today. Any minute now. So I downloaded the Amazon sample to get me started and got down to it.

Day 1 (DDRD 2,338) March 26, 2024

Read to page 30.

So here's a funny little coinky dinky. A few weeks ago a beautiful book cover caught my eye at Half-Price Books:

I wanted it immediately. And then when I opened it up and found that it also had some beautiful interior illustrations... and that it was only $10...well.  There was just the one problem:

I didn't know how many Volumes there were...or how much they would cost...or how I would get them. Plus the whole I Already Have More Books To Read Than I Have Time To Read. So I didn't buy it. I figured it would disappear quickly, but the next time I went into the store it was still there. And the next time. And the next time. But I continued to resist.

On the second text page of Blue Lard this happened:

Living the book...living the book of my life....

At any rate....

A description of Tolstoy Clone #4: 

"He’s 112 cm tall, weighing in at 62 kg. His head and hands are disproportionately large and constitute half the weight of his body. His hands are a corrugated white, as massive as an orangutan’s; the nail of his pinkie finger is as big as a 5-yuan coin. A sizable apple could disappear into Tolstoy-4’s fist without a trace. His head is three times bigger than mine; his knobby and irregular nose takes up half of his face: brows overgrown with thick, fat hairs, small teary eyes, huge ears, and a heavy white beard that reaches down to his knees (the constituent hairs of which resemble Amazonian water worms)."

Needless to say, this is a very strange book. Not only in terms of subject matter, but the jangly, multilanguage words. It's pretty hard to follow. But ahmo try to hang on.

Later that day...

And there was much rejoicing.

Day 2 (DDRD 2,339) March 27, 2024

Read to page 60.

I'm pretty sure that I'm the first person to read thus copy of Blue Lard given (1) The pristine state if the book--especially the spine, (2) the notices the library sent me, and (3) 

Thank you, Louisville Free Public Library. Another $18.95 (+ tax) saved.

Another thing that makes this book difficult to read: repetition.

Re repetition: "I would and for a hundred for a hundred directly above all for a hundred thousand hundred hundred whole hundred thousand banknotes and would not submit!" (39)

Another: "Matveyevich," Bogomolov cut in morosely moroseley and this is not very not very." (41)

If Sorokin / Lawton 's purpose was to slow The Reader down and make him / her go back and forth on lines, then 

 .

Took a bit of work to get to page 60 today. Reading this book is like watching the faces of strangers in the windows of A train that hurtling past you. It's interesting, but hard to hold onto. 

Day 3 (DDRD 2,340) March 28, 2024

Read to page 90. Much easier and more engaging reading today. But like the banker who never wears a mac in the pouring rain, Very Strange.

So...a lumpomotive is a train that runs on human body parts..."lumps" of human flesh.

Check.

Now this: "Smoking* is not a holdover, but mustard to the savorless beef of life!" (62)

* Which apparently means death here. The line preceding this one is, "People get smoked all because of a harmful holdover from the past!" **

** But then a later line--"Zazhogin disappeared uncomprehendingly into the shredder, as he would never make peace with the necessity if pulling non-nutritive smoke into his body."--seems to indicate that at least the first quoted second speaker actually did mean smoking as in cigarettes.

Hmmmm.

And this: "Anarchy is the new opiate of the masses: Jesus Christ with a Mauser!" (65)

And while trying to find out if a Mauser was a rifle or a handgun (apparently both), this:

Hmmm. Coincidence... or Something Else?

And this: "...for the duration of our entire conscious existence, we acquired not phenomena, but noumena...." (82)

"In philosophy, a noumenon (/ˈnuːmənɒn/, /ˈnaʊ-/; from Greek: νοούμενoν; pl.: noumena) is knowledge posited as an object that exists independently of human sense. The term noumenon is generally used in contrast with, or in relation to, the term phenomenon, which refers to any object of the senses."

(https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noumenon

And speaking of definitions, how about this new one on me:

eructate

verb

eruc·​tate i-ˈrək-ˌtāt 

eructated; eructating

: BELCH

(https://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/eructate)

FANcy.

Of course, A dictionary doesn't always help:

"Svetlana cleaned their bedroom with bandages and hangnails." (87)

"Sealing her vagina with a walnut ligature, Svetlana rushed into the incubator." (still 87)

Day 4 (DDRD 2,341) March 29, 2024

Read to page 140. Yes, I do believe I'm being pulled into this thing now.

As for society: "contemporary society...is based on the lawful oppression of some people, the weak and the poor, by other people, the strong and the rich...." (93)

Not an unfortunate side-effect. Not the detritus of capitalism. The basis of society. Pick a society, any society.

And then this: " A person who is awakened,  a s  i t  w e r e, shall continue to evaluate his deeds and misdeeds based not on his conscience, but on the shape of the scab of socially legitimized deception that clings to his conscience, continuing to flatter himself as before." (93 - 94)

The weird spacing is Sorokin's, by the way. Or maybe Lawton's...but I'm betting on the former.

Day 5 (DDRD 2,342) March 30, 2024

Read to page 200. 

So many references to penises in these pages. And such bizarre stuff: men who fuck the ground, children with gigantic genitals, A man with a dick he slings over his shoulder.... Not to mention the transvestite sons of Stalin, the incestuous relationship between one if those sons and Stalin's daughter. And the time traveling. 

This is a very strange book.

Day 6 (DDRD 2,343) March 31, 2024

Read to page 250.

New word for me:

degustation

noun

de·​gus·​ta·​tion ˌdē-ˌgə-ˈstā-shən 

: the action or an instance of tasting especially in a series of small portions 

degust  di-ˈgəst 

dē-

 transitive verb

  

And another:

refection

noun

re·​fec·​tion ri-ˈfek-shən 

Synonyms of refection

1

: refreshment of mind, spirit, or body

especially : NOURISHMENT

2

a

: the taking of refreshment

b

: food and drink together : REPAST

It's just a learning kind of day, ennit?

Hey, you know what? There's just a smidge more than 100 pages left in this book...and I'm averaging about 42 pages per day. I'd say two more days ought to do it, then. And since I have a cat sleeping on me right now, I think I'll read a few more pages.

ADDENDUM: read to 270. So 88 pages to go. Yep, two more days will do it. Also, it took me a while to notice, but that repetition thing...and some of the other slow me down stuff...hasn't been happening for some time now. What's up with that, I wonder. There was, however, A very graphic sex scene between Khrushchev and Stalin. Some stuff I found very disgusting. Why was it there? Dunno. 

Day 7 (DDRD 2,344) April 1, 2024

Read to page 311...but I'm not done for the day yet, just had to pause to catch my breath. Let's see...this time we had a scene where a woman is tortured by a guy who rubs her clitoris until she is on the verge of orgasm, then stops, waits, and starts up again. It was pretty much the opposite of erotic for me. For one thing, because the man was essentially using it as torture to get her to reveal information. In other news, in the Blue Lard world, Germany and Russia have united, an atomic bomb has destroyed London, and Stalin and Hitler are great friends. Speaking of Blue Lard, it really hasn't played that big of a part in this story. Stalin is carrying it around in a briefcase, but at this point (and with only 33 text pages to go), there's been no indication of what it is for. Also, the lines of the great Russian writers had a very small part to play...and that was what brought me to this novel (after reading about it somewhere or other). Well...all that glitters. At this point I'm thinking that this will be the end of my Vladimir Sorokin journey,  though. The book is "shocking" and allathat, but it's also repulsive and I don't feel that it's taken me anywhere.

Read to page 331...which only leaves 27 pages. I'm thinking about knocking those back...but mostly just to get it over with at this point. I'm really unhappy with this book. Just had another very vivid sex scene. In this one, Hitler anally and then orally and then facially rapes a young girl...possibly even an underage girl...while her mother watches. Not willingly, but not intervening, either. And when it's over, mom tells the girl to go take a shower. 

So that's about enough of this shit for me. I'll finish the book...but unless something drastically changes in the last pages these will be the last minutes I waste on this motherfucker Vladimir Sorokin. He might be "one of the most popular writers in modern Russian literature  (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vladimir_Sorokin), but he's just a depraved asshole to me.

My sister started getting The New York Times (hand me downs from a client), and so she started feeding me the book review sections yesterday. In the one she gave me today, there was a review of Blue Lard. Well of course there was.

And here's a big surprise for you: the reviewer had lots of praise for it. The last line, referring to Sorokin himself, goes like this:  "He has abandoned literature, leaving in its wake something thrilling, appalling, overwhelming and, yes, other."

Oh my aching balls.

Anyway...read to page 335. Almost there.

Day 8 (DDRD 2,345) April 2, 2024

Read to page 358, The End. And not a moment too soon. No vindication in the final pages, just more outlandish stupidity. No more Sorokin for me, thank you.

DDR Day 1 to 1,000: 13,449 pages read, 13.45 Average Pages Per Day

A History of Philosophy Volumes I - XI

History of Civilization in England Volumes I - III

Miscellaneous and Posthumous Works of Henry Thomas Buckle Volumes I - III

Civilization and Capitalism, 16th - 18th Century Volumes I - III

The Mediterranean and the Mediterranean World in the Age of Philip IIl Volumes I - III

This Happened In My Presence: Moriscos, Old Christians, and the Spanish Inquisition in the Town of Deza, 1569-1611

The Stolen Village: Baltimore and the Barbary Pirates

Peat and Peat Cutting

+

DDR Day 1,001 to Day 2,000:
(1) Leviathan 63 days, 729 pages
(2) Stalingrad 27 days, 982 pages
(3) Life and Fate 26 days, 880 pages
(4) The Second World War 34 + 32 + 40 + 43 + 31 + 32 days = 212 days, 4,379 pages
(5) Baron Wenckheim's Homecoming 10 days, 572 pages
(6) The Great Bridge 25 days, 636 pages
(7) The Path Between the Seas 29 days, 698 pages
(8) Blake: Prophet Against Empire, 23 days, 523 pages
(9) Jerusalem 61 days, 1,266 pages
(10) Voice of the Fire 9 days, 320 pages
(11) The Fountainhead 15 days, 720 pages

(12) The Pacific Trilogy: Pacific Crucible 23 days, 640 pages
(13) The Pacific Trilogy: The Conquering Tide 28 days, 656 pages
(14) The Pacific Trilogy: Twilight of the Gods 31 days, 944 pages

(15) Jazz: Its Evolution and Essence 13 days, 304 pages
(16) Toward Jazz 18 days, 224 pages
(17) The Worlds of Jazz 13 days, 279 pages
(18) To Be or Not...to Bop 14 days, 571 pages
(19) Kind of Blue 4 days, 224 pages
(20) Kind of Blue: Miles Davis and his Masterpiece: 5 days, 256 pages
(21) Miles: The Autobiography 16 days, 445 pages
(21) A Love Supreme: The Story of John Coltrane's Signature Album: 8 days, 287 pages
(22) Ascension: John Coltrane and His Quest 8 days, 304 pages
(23) Living With Music: Ralph Ellison's Jazz Writings 11 days 325 pages

(24) The Pickwick Papers 28 days, 983 pages
(25) Oliver Twist 16 days, 542 pages
(26) Nicholas Nickleby 27 days, 1,045 pages
(27) The Old Curiosity Shop 22 days, 753 pages
(28) Barnaby Rudge 24 days, 866 pages

(29) Master Humprhey's Clock 4 days, 145 pages
(30) Martin Chuzzlewit 32 days, 1,045 pages
(31) American Notes 10 days, 324 pages
(32) Pictures From Italy 7 days, 211 pages
(33) Christmas Stories Volume I 10 days, 456 pages
(34) Christmas Stories Volume II 15 days, 472 pages

(35) Christmas Books 17 days, 525 pages

(36) The Annotated Christmas Carol  7 days, 380 pages

(37) Dombey and Son 30 days, 1,089 pages

(38) Sketches by Boz 22 days, 834 pages

2nd 1K Total: 26,834 pages (to SBBII) = 28.76 Average Pages Per Day

Grand Total: 40,273 pages, 20.83 Average Pages Per Day

(39) David Copperfield 21 days, 1,092 pages

(40) The Uncommercial Traveller 12 days, 440 pages

(41) A Child's History of England 10 days, 491 pages

(42) Reprinted Pieces 14 days, 368 pages

(43) Miscellaneous Papers Volume I 18 days, 542 pages

        + 25 pages Bleak House and 9 pages Miscellaneous Papers II = 2,000 days' worth.

2nd 1K Total: 29,801pages = 29.8 Average Pages Per Day

Grand Total: 43,250 pages, 21.625 Average Pages Per Day

DDR Day 2,001 to Day 3,000:

(1) Miscellaneous Papers Volume II 28 days (don't count, while reading BH), 494 pages
(2) Bleak House 37 days, 1,098 pages

494 - 9 = 485 + 1098 - 25 = 1073 = 1,558 pages towards 3K...in 37 days, for a daily rate of 42+ pages (!).

(3) Hard Times 11 days, 459 pages

(4) Little Dorrit 29 days, 1,606 pages

(5) A Tale of Two Cities 9 days, 460 pages

(6) Great Expectations 16 days, 580 pages

(7) Our Mutual Friend 29 days, 1,057 pages

(8) The Mystery of Edwin Drood 6 days, 314 pages 

FTR vis-a-vis Dickens: 18,671 pages in 468 days = 39.9 pages per day!

(9) Dickens and Kafka, 7 days, 315 pages

(10) Franz Kafka: A Biography 8 days, 267 pages

(11) The Frozen Sea: A Study of Franz Kafka 5 days, 198 pages

(12) Franz Kafka, A Writer's Life 12 days, 385 pages

(13) The Lost Writings 2 days, 138 pages

(14) Amerika: The Missing Person 11 days, 333 pages

(15) The Brothers Karamazov  24 days, 816 pages

(16) The Eternal Husband & Other Stories 8 days, 375 pages

(17) Poor Folk 5 days, 164 pages

(18) The Double 4 days, 190 pages

(19) The Landlady 3 days, 90 pages

(20) Netochka Nezvanova 6 days, 196 pages

(21) The Village of Stepanchikovo 8 days, 265 pages

(22) Uncle's Dream 4 days, 162 pages

(23) The Insulted and the Injured 14 days, 451 pages

(24) Notes From a Dead House 8 days, 327 pages

(25) Notes From Underground  4 days, 171 pages

(26) Crime and Punishment 13 days, 555 pages

(27) The Gambler 10 days, 405 pages

(28) The Idiot 21 days, 682 pages          4,849 total Dostoyevsky pages as of now

(29) A Poetics of Handel's Operas 12 days, 386 pages

(30) Blue Lard 8 days, 360 pages

(31) Opera as Hypermedium 0 days (overlap), 198 pages

() Demons

() The Adolescent