It's still there.

 

Two Dreams

 

I had two dreams about my ex-wife last night...with a wake-up in between. In both of them she was angry with me...and very clearly hated me.

In the wake-up between the dreams, I was awash in the knowledge that she really does hate me...assuming she ever thinks of me at all. 

The truth is that I loved her with every fiber of my being, and that for most of the 8 years we were together,  I was as happy as it's possible to be. And I think she was, too. Even after she left me I could see the love in her eyes.

How does it go from that to hatred? I wish I knew.

But every day I include her and her son (not by me) in my prayers. I hope that she is doing well and has found happiness. 

Meanwhile, I am plagued with these dreams, and even there I find no happiness. 

Opium & Empire

 

"...British rule in India could not be sustained without opium — that is all there is to it, and let us not pretend otherwise. You are no doubt aware that in some years, the company's annual gains from opium are almost equal to the entire revenue of your own country, the United States? Do you imagine that British rule would be possible in this impoverished land if it were not for this source of wealth? And if we reflect on the benefits that British rule has conferred upon India, does it not follow that opium is this land's greatest blessing? Does it not follow that it is our God-given duty to confer these benefits upon others?" (113)

Of course, times have changed, and we are much more subtle about how we exploit impoverished countries nowadays. That's progress. 😎

Émilie Dequenne & Rosetta

 

I picked this movie up from the library because someone (don't remember who) in a Criterion Closet clip recommended it. It's a French film about a girl who is just trying to find a job...because her alcoholic mother has deserted her in every sense except physical.

It's a great movie. One of the greatest things about it is that there are several times when you can't figure out why a character is doing something. Which means that (1) the director is assuming you will work it out, (2) that this is not a movie which accepts superficial motivations, because (3) the director respects the complexity of human beings. 

Émilie Dequenne is quite stunning as Rosetta. She's a tough girl, for sure, but there are key moments when she reveals the frightened child that is also a part of her. When she calls out for her mom to help her. (She doesn't.) When she is carrying a heavy canister and stumbles and falls and begins to cry.

And she was only 18 when she made this movie. She died very young, in her early 40s, but she made quite a few movies in her 25 year career, and I'm hoping I can find some of them Out There.

Addendum: And what do you know, Rosetta is available on HBO Max, and Émilie's second movie, Brotherhood of the Wolf, is on Amazon Prime. More news as it happens.

DDR: A Cardiologist Examines Jesus: The Stunning Science Behind Eucharistic Miracles by Dr. Franco Serafini

 

I decided it was time to get back to Jesus. I bought this book some months ago...after reading about eucharistic miracles in one of the Jacqueline books. 

Day 1 (DDRD 3,242) September 18, 2026

Read to page 30. In the first chapter, we're told of a 1200 year old host and wine sample which are examined and found to be heart tissue and AB blood. 

Day 2 (DDRD 3,243) September 19, 2026

Read to page 60.

Day 3 (DDRD 3,244) September 20, 2026

Read to page 135.

Read about a book I really wanted to read: A Sceptic’s Search for Meaning by Mike Willesee...and it's pretty much impossible to find. Looks like I might be able to buy an audiobook version of it from audible.com, but I don't really do well with audiobooks. Still, if that's all there is, then I will probably go for it. Also, there was a reference to a YouTube video, but it's been switched to private viewing. Hmpf.

In other news, I met with some friends this morning and told them about this book, and they seemed pretty interested, although neither of them are Christians.  I'm pretty interested in what they think about this and might loan the book to them once I'm finished. 

Day 4 (DDRD 3,245) September 21, 2026

Read to page