There's a scene in Macbeth which has been playing on a loop in my brain of late. Macduff has gone to England to try to convince Malcolm, the son of the murdered King Duncan and, therefore, the rightful heir to the throne, to come back to Scotland and drive out the usurper, Macbeth. Malcolm is feeling wary, and is thinking that perhaps Macduff is actually an agent of Macbeth who has come to trick him, possibly to assassinate him. So he decides to test Macduff by pretending that he is not worthy of the throne of Scotland. His assumption is that if he presents himself as unworthy and Macduff rejects him, then Macduff is honest. But if Macduff accepts Malcolm despite his professions of being corrupt, then Malcolm will assume that Macduff is, indeed, in Macbeth's employ.
It's in Act IV, Scene iii, and it goes like this.
MACDUFF
Not in the legions
Of horrid hell can come a devil more damn'd
In evils to top Macbeth.
MALCOLM
I grant him bloody,
Luxurious, avaricious, false, deceitful,
Sudden, malicious, smacking of every sin
That has a name: but there's no bottom, none,
In my voluptuousness: your wives, your daughters,
Your matrons and your maids, could not fill up
The cistern of my lust, and my desire
All continent impediments would o'erbear
That did oppose my will: better Macbeth
Than such an one to reign.
MACDUFF
Boundless intemperance
In nature is a tyranny; it hath been
The untimely emptying of the happy throne
And fall of many kings. But fear not yet
To take upon you what is yours: you may
Convey your pleasures in a spacious plenty,
And yet seem cold, the time you may so hoodwink.
We have willing dames enough: there cannot be
That vulture in you, to devour so many
As will to greatness dedicate themselves,
Finding it so inclined.
So here's the thing: Macduff is so desperate for Malcolm to come back to Scotland and displace Macbeth that he says he's okay with Malcolm being corrupt...specifically he's okay with Malcolm wanting to fuck every woman he can get his hands on, including grandma ("your matrons"). Malcolm is put off by this, but he decides to give Macduff another chance, so he says...
MALCOLM
With this there grows
In my most ill-composed affection such
A stanchless avarice that, were I king,
I should cut off the nobles for their lands,
Desire his jewels and this other's house:
And my more-having would be as a sauce
To make me hunger more; that I should forge
Quarrels unjust against the good and loyal,
Destroying them for wealth.
MACDUFF
This avarice
Sticks deeper, grows with more pernicious root
Than summer-seeming lust, and it hath been
The sword of our slain kings: yet do not fear;
Scotland hath foisons to fill up your will.
Of your mere own: all these are portable,
With other graces weigh'd.
But once again, Macduff "fails" Malcom's test, telling him that in addition to having all of the women, Malcolm can also have all of the money. Malcolm decides to give him one more try, and says...
MALCOLM
But I have none: the king-becoming graces,
As justice, verity, temperance, stableness,
Bounty, perseverance, mercy, lowliness,
Devotion, patience, courage, fortitude,
I have no relish of them, but abound
In the division of each several crime,
Acting it many ways. Nay, had I power, I should
Pour the sweet milk of concord into hell,
Uproar the universal peace, confound
All unity on earth.
And at this point, Macduff can maintain the ruse no longer, and he cries out...
MACDUFF
O Scotland, Scotland!
His despair is the first step he's taken in the right direction to win Malcolm's trust, but Malcolm decides to push it one more time for the sake of clarity, and he asks...
MALCOLM
If such a one be fit to govern, speak:
I am as I have spoken.
And Macduff gives an answer which makes my heart leap up:
MACDUFF
Fit to govern!
No, not to live.
And, of course, that is what Malcolm has been waiting to hear, so at this point he lets Macduff know that he'd been trolling him before, says he not only doesn't want to destroy Scotland, but he doesn't even want the money or to fuck any of the women. In fact, he's a virgin, and he's never even so much as told a lie before This Moment.
Happy ending. Well, not the ending ending, but the ending of this scene.
And I know that naiveté is my Achilles heel...how else explain that second marriage?...but I keep thinking, "Macduff is the Republican Party. At some point Trump will pull some shit and they will cry out, "O Scotland, Scotland!" and declare that he is Unfit To Govern. Unfit to Live in the White House.
And I think that's what keeps me turning on the news every morning and every evening. Putting up with the slings and arrows of outrageous Republicans. Hoping that at some point enough will be enough, that the G.O.P. folks will finally realize that even though they have benefitted enormously from the Trump presidency, it has reached the point where it is no longer worth it.
And then...Brave New World time, baby.
