Thomas Ligotti

"If one is defective, as are we all in some way, being uniquely defective is something of a consolation in the absence of a cure."

Thomas Ligotti

"Metaphysical Morum"

Luke Russert

 

I don't know much of anything about Luke Russert. I know he had a famous guy for a father....who I think was known as a nice guy. I know that he became a part of MS NOW's the weeknight...a show I'm familiar with, not a fan of, and check in regularly on.

The main reason I'm not a fan of the show is Luke Russert.

Maybe he's a great guy.

Maybe he's sweet and cool and a master of self-abnegation.

Maybe he's a student of great literature and is fluent in seven languages. 

I dunno.

I only know that when he comes on the screen and starts holding forth, I change the channel.

Because to me he seems arrogant and bombastic and narcissistic and...just a pain in the ass Rich Boy.

I hope I'm wrong.

As Godot's dear Lucky said (so hopefully), "Time will tell."

The Dark Tower 3: The Wastelands by Stephen King

708 pages this time.

Well, today is DTD6, and I'm very anxious to start on DT3, but (1) I've just finished DT2 a few minutes ago (read over 200 pages today), and (2) I haven't even started my DDR for the day, so...just a page or two. Maybe 3.

Or 16.

DTD7: Woke up, fell out of bed, got breakfast, started reading.

Hey, the big robot bear is made by North Central Positronics. Hello, Isaac.

Read to page 128. Definitely passed the point at which I stopped reading previously...and am at a loss to explain why I would have stopped here. The fight with the giant bear is slightly ridiculous, of course, but it is not something you easily look away from. Apparently I did, but I have no idea why.

I need to remind myself that this was really my first day on this book--though I nibbled a bit on it yesterday. 

DTD8 (10/14/26): This looks to be a challenging day. Doctor's appointment, meeting for my younger son, and dinner with my older son. But I'm carrying this book with me to all but the last.

On the way back from the doctor's office I stopped at the library and picked up

And as you can see

the interlocking cover beat goes on.

Read to page 236.

DTD9 (10/15/26): A bit of a coincidence.  I've had The Dark Tower movie for a week now, but didn't put it in the dvd player until about an hour ago. I only watched a bit of it as it was time to go pick Joe up from work, but I got to the point where Jake goes up to the old house, pries the wooden slats that had been nailed over the door off, and enters.

When I got to Joe's workplace, I had a few minutes before pick-up time, so I started reading The Waste Lands and...

Pretty weird when you think about all the things that had to happen for this little glitch in the Matrix to occur.

So...finished watching the movie. It was terrible, and had almost nothing to do with the books. A waste of time.

Read to page 318. Might not be finished for the day.

DTD10 (10/16/26):  Much busyness,  so I only read to page 372.

DTD11 (10/17/26): I'm not sure what happened, but somehow I only read three pages today. Not lack of interest!

DTD12 (10/18/26): A day of church (+ 1.5 hours of sitting in church for choir practice), eating out, DDR, 2 football games, running both kids to their apartments, and making tacos for dinner, but I still managed to get to page 458, which is Not Bad, but I'm going to try for 20 more to make it an even 100 for the day.

And...475. Bingo.

DTD13 (10/19/26): Read to page 580...and have a powerful urge to push through to the end (page 700). 

🤔

Made it to page 645.

DTD14 (10/20/26): Finished it of 7:92 am...so of course I'll have to start TDT4 later today. But first a little In the Spirit of Crazy Horse.

And

320 + 515 + 708 = 1543 pages so far. I've got the feeling that each successive book is going to be longer than the one preceding it.

Love

 "Love dares the self to leave itself behind, to enter into poverty.”

Anne Carson

Yep.

Brother K 

Stoned Thought on Mozart

Imagine how Mozart would react to hearing someone playing boogie boogie piano. I picture his face going from surprise to befuddlement to a hot flash of anger...and then immediately to ecstatic delight.

Tom Hulce, please? 

The Dark Tower 2: The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King

 

I know AI is going to kill us all and I try to avoid using it, but photo manipulation is just too much fun to resist. I love the way it twisted the book around and made it look like the book was sucking the curtains into itself.

It's Friday...and since this appears to be a new little reading project, let's make it DTD3. (Dark Tower Day 3--after reading DT1 in 2 days.)

Only read to page 33 for DTD3--lack of time, not lack of interest. I really wanted to get a few more pages in and get away from those lobster fuckers. Tomorrow probably won't be any better--regional SOKY bowling tournament, dinner date for the kids...that's most of the day. But i might try to sneal my book into Kingpin Lanes...just in case there's a spare moment or two. Pun intended.

DTD4: Got up earlier and instead of doing my required (DDR) reading, I picked up The Drawing if the Three. Lickety split and I'mat page 108...and those lobster fuckers are STILL around. 

Gotta get a few more pages in before I switch gears for dad duty.

Did the dad stuff...but didn't do much on the DDR side, because I got sucked into DT3 and read to page 190. And I'm not quite finished for the night, either.

Meanwhile, there's this:

Looks like it's not just the covers of 2 and 3 that fit together.

Pooped out at page 215. Yeah...Stephen King knows how to do it.

DTD5: to 298. And it was a very busy day, too. 

DTD6: Looks like this is going to be it. Which means it took me 4 days to read this one. Of course, it was a couple of hundred pages longer than the first book. But much more compelling. I think I could have finished it in two days if I'd pushed it. Hell, not even that really. More like if I'd let myself.

"This is what romance gets you--a noose around your neck and a crazy woman with two guns behind you." (421)  I've got to say...this has the ring of truth for me. Thanks, girls.

BTW, 515 pages this time out...as compared to a mere 320 for DT1.

I kind of feel like starting DT3 right now...but I'm going to do my cardio instead.

The Dark Tower 1: The Gunslinger by Stephen King

 

Wednesday: I read this book a long time ago. Don't remember much about it other than that it wasn't very compelling, nor was it easy going. Nevertheless, I read the next book in the series and started the third...and then pooped out. 

But I've thought about The Dark Tower series off and on, and when I found out that Stephen King had revised the first book I decided I would read it. The library had a copy (of course...it's Stephen Fucking King, after all) and I got it and brought it home. And despite the fact that I have my eyes in many other books right now, I opened it up and started to read. 

It was a bit of a grind at first. A man alone in the desert isn't that interesting...not even with Stephen King behind it. But I read on, and before I knew it I was closing the book at page 88 to go to bed. 

Thursday: And the next day I was at the library to pick up some stuff, and since I, like Paul Simon, can read the writing on the wall...

Ready for love...oh, baby, I'm ready for love....

After reading for awhile around page 130) it hit me why the first part of this book was a bit of a drag: no dialogue. Stephen King's greatest talent is character development, and you get a lot of that through dialogue. Maybe he should write a play.

With that (☝) thought in mind I Googled "has Stephen king ever written a play?" They came up with Ghost Brothers of Darkland County which, coincidentally, I just bought myself for my birthday.   Haven't gotten around to listening to it yet, but now I suppose I will have to, won't I?

And oh! I am really slow today. I just looked at the picture I posted of Dark Tower 2 and 3 and for the first time noticed that they fit together as one picture. Maybe I should cut down on the Gummies.

Read to page 218 today. Kind of wanted to finish it off, but that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it? BTW, also today I drove Joe to work, went grocery shopping, picked Joe up, took him to the bank, brought him home. A few minutes later took him to the library where we met his brother, and I went into the library with my granddaughter, played with her for about 45 minutes, drove Joe back to his apartment, came back here. And fixed dinner.  Also, somewhere in the earlier part of all this I rode my stationary bike for 30 minutes. So it's not like I was sitting on my ass reading all day. Stephen King is just very compelling-- even when he's not at his best. Though I admit that my disdain for this book has decreased quite a bit. I don't know if the rewrite was that extensive or if something in me has changed, but this seems like a pretty good book to me now.

While I was at the library with my granddaughter, I decided I should pick this up:

Yes, yes, I know. And yes, I have seen it before. You don't really understand OCD, do you? (Can't even tell you how much I wanted that set of Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction issues starting with October 1978.) *

* 

11:20 pm. Couldn't sleep. So I finished the book.

"...he was lonely but did not find loneliness in any way a bad or ignoble thing." (300)

Guess I'll be starting Book 2 tomorrow. Not going to read it in two days, though.

Stoned Thought #3

Maybe it's just me, but I'm thinking that writers are people who are so nervous about interactions in the world that they run practice scenarios and dialogues in their heads on a regular basis. Some of those end up as (or in) stories.

DDR: In the Spirit of Crazy Horse by Peter Matthiessen

Big book...xli + 646 = 687 pages. And tiny  letters...probably 1 1/2 pages' worth of words on every page. Dare I eat this 🍑?

I don't know. But I'm going to take a bite.

Day 1 (DDRD 3,257) October 4, 2026

Read to page 2.

"Let's not walk on the moon, then fail to understand what this creation is all about. This is life, this is beautiful, everything is the way it should be." (xxxviii)

Day 2 (DDRD 3,258) October 5, 2026

Only read to page 17. Not for lack of interest,  though.

I was pretty thrilled to find out that Peter Matthiessen had written a book about Leonard Peltier. I'd seen the documentary Incident at Oglala (1992) and read Prison Writings: My Life Is My Sun Dance (with a Great Books class to boot), so I was a bit familiar with Peltier's "case," but I was ready for more.

Day 3 (DDRD 3,259) October 6, 2026

Read to page 47.

Going through the "background" material has been very painful. It's just stunning and psinful to think how the Indians were treated. It makes me want to do something...but I have no idea what.

"I hate all the white people. You are thieves and liars. You have taken away our land and made us outcasts." (Sitting Bull, quoted by Dee Brown in Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee page 607.)

Which makes me think...maybe Trump is the quintessential American president: a thief, a liar, a rapist, a fool. Is that who we are?

I fear that it is so.

Toward the end of today's reading, Leonard Peltier came into the story. The pages before his entry were just horrifying. The Indians were treated so terribly, so mercilessly.  It's shameful. 

Day 4 (DDRD 3,260) October 7, 2026

Read to page 77.

Check out this video: "I Hate the White Man" by Roy Harper https://share.google/ben753zwBpjLFYUmj

Day 5 (DDRD 3,261) October 8, 2026

Read to page 107. Leonard Peltier has stepped out of the picture, but the heinous treatment of the Indians continues: people are beaten to death, children are raped, and the land is plundered. So shameful. It also becomes apparent how important AIM was for the American Indians. Their presence altered outcomes in many important cases.

Day 6 (DDRD 3,262) October 9, 2026

Read to page 137.

Day 7 (DDRD 3,263) October 10, 2026

Read to page 167.

Reading about the Sun Dance reminds me of that paunful scene in The Return of a Man Called Horse (1976) whete Richard Harris puts in the bones chips and dangles from them until his flesh rips. Yuck. You can see it for free on Tubi or Pluto if you have the need.

Day 8 (DDRD 3,264) October 11, 2026

Read to page 200. Which was quite the accomplishment on a day which included 3 hours in church, 4 hours at the opera, and dinner at Chili's. (Hated it. Loud and kid screamy and meh food and not cheap.)

Day 9 (DDRD 3,265) October 12, 2026

Read to page 212. Just didn't have it in me to get any further. Have to admit I did read a lot of The Dark Tower today, though.

Day 10 (DDRD 3,266) October 13, 2026

Read to page 242. 

Day 11 (DDRD 3,267) October 14, 2026

Read to page 265. 

Day 12 (DDRD 3,268) October 15, 2026

Read to page 287. 

Day 13 (DDRD 3,269) October 16, 2026

Read to page 317.

At this point in the reading, it seems that Peltier is actually guilty of participating in the murder of the FBI agents. False witnesses? I read on. 

And things begin to turn. The main testimony against Peltier was given by a mentally imbalanced woman whose life (and the life of her child) was threatened by the FBI if she didn't say what she wanted them to say.

I found out that the movie Thunderheart, which is in part based on the Ogala incident, was available on Pluto TV. So I stopped to watch itcustoms.n the plus side: Val Kilmer, Sam Shepard, Fred Thompson, John Trudell (!), and David Crosby...and one of the producers was Robert De Niro. And there were many American Indians in the cast. There was also at least some respect shown towards Indian customs.

On the minus side, American Indian Movement (AIM) was fictionalized as Aboriginal Rights Movement (ARM), which strikes me as more than a little desultory.

All in all it was worth doing, though.

Read to page 347.

Day 14 (DDRD 3,270) October 18*, 2026

Read to page 377.

If this doesn't make you sick, nothing will:

Our Justice System at work.

* Somehow my date is off again, but I know I didn't miss reading any days, and I'm too lazy to put any effort into finding my error. Try try try to let it ride.

Day 15 (DDRD 3,271) October 19, 2026

Read to page 392. I confess: I read two giant shitloads of The Dark Tower 3 today, which cut into the readtime a bit.

"...a wounded heart does many stupid things." (383) Man, that line cut a gash through my soul. When I thunk of all the times I tried to hold on when there was nothing but a greasy rope to hold onto, it makes me wish I'd never tried at all. Love really is a dog from hell.

Day 16 (DDRD 3,272) October 20, 2026

Read to page 422. Which means 178 pages to go...whuch should be six days' worth. So I am already starting to think about what comes next. I'm considering Custer Died for Your Sins, which I've had for some time. If I am not mistaken, that was a book my mom had long ago.

Day 17 (DDRD 3,273) October 21, 2026

Read to page 452.

Or maybe this:

Cause I am getting into a Matthiessen Mood. 

Day 18 (DDRD 3,274) October 22, 2026

Read to page 482. 

Day 19 (DDRD 3,275) October 23, 2026

Read to page 512. Y'know, lately I've really been getting drawn into this book. Primarily because the focus has shifted to Leonard Peltier and his innocence. I'm going to miss this book. (And only 98 pages left...3 days' worth.😪)

2 Years of the Rosary

Today is Anniversary Day: no missed days in two years. Although there were a few getting up out of bed just as I was falling asleeps, some those gummies are kicking in and I'm really going to have to CONCENtrates, and such likes. 

But I've enjoyed the daily twenty minute meditations. I'm going to do my best to keep at it every day.

For one thing, it gives me a chance to think about my family, my friends, people I know who have suffered from tragedies, people I don't like...as I pair each of the 53 Hail Mary beads with a person in one of the four aforementioned categories. It is an interesting bifurcation, focusing on both the rosary and a person I know simultaneously. 

H. P. Lovecraft

I wanted to see if this poignant line

"writing alone will allow me to endure the final mockeries of living"

was really written by H. P. Lovecraft...or if Romuald Giulivo (writer) + Mercedes Gilliom (translator) had written it in the letter attributed to Lovecraft (writing to Robert E. Howard) in The Last Days of H. P. Lovecraft.

So I " " -ed it and guess what? No results found. I did get this unsolicited AI advice, though:

Thanks fot lurking out for me, AI.

Peter Matthiessen

I've been circling around Peter Matthiessen for several months now. I remember my mom reading one of his books —The Snow Leopard—and I picked up a copy of that and put it on the To Be Read pile. And then more recently the movie At Play in the Fields of the Lord, which is based on a Matthiessen novel, kept coming into my head, so I ordered a copy of that. Before it arrived, however,  I decided that I needed to read the book before rewatching the movie, so I ordered a copy of the novel.  I started reading it right away, just a few pages, and somehow (don't remember how)  found out that Matthiessen had written a book on Leonard Peltier. That one, which is called In the Spirit of Crazy Horse, was available at the library, and it is in my hot little hands right now. I think it's going to be my next DDR after the AFL book.

I also saw a very nice copy of The Peter Matthiesen Reader at Better World Books for a pittance, so....

P.S. Speaking of Better World Books, my other favorite online bookstore, they do some lovely things with a portion of their profits. For instance, this showed up after I placed my order today:

So...you know what to do!

Ebrie, cave OR Mushrooms and Moi

I've never taken any kind of mushroom before...excepting the kind you put on a salad. But I've been reading some things, and my interest level finally reached the tipping point, so I stopped in at 502 Hemp (👍👍👍💪) and consulted my friend Rocko about what 🍄 product would be the best choice to blow my mind.

Rocko handed me 

Which sounded like the perfect ticket. On the back there was a dosage guide:

Mr. DeMille?

Well. As tempted as I was to go whole hog on this, I thought I'd better bend to discretion for my first 🍄 outing, so I broke off two of the 16 pieces.

After an hour I started feeling that special feeling. I was excited. More than ready to have my 🤯. 

I waited.

And waited.

The feeling began to recede. 

And then 🐡 it was gone.

Ok. Clearly I'd lowballed it. So the next day I ate the rest, clearly putting me into the WALLS MIGHT MELT category.

After a little while I started to get that special feeling.

I waited.

And waited.

The feeling began to recede. 

And then 🐡 it was gone.

Razz a frazzin frickin frackin...that shit cost me $25.

Back to Delta 8 and / or 9 for me.

Three Sheets to the Wind

The surprising things you learn when you read:

https://www.etymonline.com/word/canvas

In the book I'm reading (Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh), when the boss is away the sailors smoke Ganga. If they don't have any, they scrape the sails and smoke that.

 

Billy Jack, anyone?

Not only do I own the whole series of Billy Jack movies...I actually saw the second one (Billy Jack 1971) in the theater. But until ten minutes ago I had no idea that there were Billy Jack novels:

Billy Jack by Frank and Teresa Christina

&

The Trial of Billy Jack by Howard Liebling

Both of them are a bit pricey...upwards of $25 on Amazon...but the latter is available for free at 

https://archive.org/details/trialofbillyjack0000howa

Yesiree Bob. 

A nice surprise.

I was reading Maria of Guadalupe by Paul Badde to Jacqueline today and ran across this:

Which made me exceedingly happy because

"Spalato is the Italian name for the city of Split, Croatia."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spalato_(disambiguation)

And 

is one of my all-time favorite novels.

Thanks, Universe.

DDR: Going Long : The Wild Ten Year Saga of the Renegade American Football League in the Words of Those Who Lived It by Jeff Miller

 

This one has been a long time coming. I bought it (from 😍Thrift Books 😍) September 07, 2022. Started reading it right away and was quite taken with it, But then as often happens I wandered away to other things This is why my daily devotional reading is so important to me.

xviii + 398 = 416 pages

Day 1 (DDRD 3,248) September 25, 2026

Read to page 32.

NOW I remember why I stopped reading this book. And I misremembered liking it. I stopped because it was so strangely constructed. Each page has snippets from different interviews.

I suppose it's an original way to tell the story, but it's kind of a pain in the ass. 

But I'm going to take a run at this anyway. A book that interviews Roman Gabriel can't be all bad, right?

https://fartheroffthewall.com/2024/07/14/no-18-roman-gabriel/

Day 2 (DDRD 3,249) September 26, 2026

Read to page 62.

Unfortunately, this interweaving interview method leads to a superficial narrative. When games are mentioned, there's not enough to allow you to really get the picture.  Also, since it is composed of spoken words, there are often strange lapses in focus and I'll have to reread a sentence three or four times before I can even get a clue as to what they are talking about.

Sigh. Thinking about quitting. And I haven't even heard from Roman Gabriel yet.

Day 3 (DDRD 3,250) September 27, 2026

Read to page 94. Still mucking along. Like the story, hate the storytelling mode.

Day 4 (DDRD 3,251) September 28, 2026

Read to page 125.

Day 5 (DDRD 3,252) September 29, 2026

Read to page 155.  We're finally getting to some players I actually have heard of. Roger staubach, for instance.

Day 6 (DDRD 3,253) September 30, 2026

Read to page 203. Enter Joe Namath. Born in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania...a town of 9,000. In high school there he played football, baseball, and basketball. In basketball, he could dunk. 

Dick Butkus and Gale Sayers. Oh, yeah. I just watched some clips of Gale Sayers and Joe Namath. Stunning stuff. I don't think anybody else could run like Gale Sayers. And when Namath threw the ball? Magic.

Day 7 (DDRD 3,254) October 1, 2026

Read to page 233. Here they come now. Bob Griese, Jim Kiick, Larry Csonka....

Fuzzy Thurston and 💓Jerry Kramer💓! I have special live for Jerry Kramer. Way back when (50+ years ago) I read lots of Packers books, with special love for Kramer's Instant Replay. Ah, yes, those were the days.

And then...Bart Starr. My hero.

Just for the record...on page 234, Jerry Izenberg is talking to Junius Buchanan, who tells him he is reading Run to Daylight by Jerry Kramer.

No cigar.

Addendum: Read a little more (270) and got to some commentary on the first Super Bowl. That forced me to go watch a highlights real on YouTube which was a lot of fun. Good old Bart Starr...Jerry Kramer...Zazu Pitts...Paul Hornung (who didn't actually play). Those were My Boys back in the day..(I was nine years old.)

Day 8 (DDRD 3,255) October 2, 2026

Read to 316.

I'll leave the details to you, but I just want to note that thete is a Wikipedia page entitled "Heidi Game."

Day 9 (DDRD 3,256) October 3, 2026

Read to page 398, The End. This turned out to be a good, satisfying read. Took me awhile to get used to the format, but after the halfway point or so it started working for me. Sometimes sticking with it works out.