poeM oF thE daY

What I Didn't Do Today

or yesterday

or the day before yesterday

or the day before the day before yesterday

and only did a little bit on the day before that

but before that had done every day since September 2009

and many of the days before that as well.

and how do I feel?

my teeth feel like they're made of glass

the thin, cheap kind that will shatter against 

the faucet if you're not careful when washing dishes

and

there's a warm ball of barbed wire at the base of my neck

and another one nestled into the base of my spine

and

my muscles all feel attenuated

so to answer your question,
not so good

I keep feeling like I forgot to do something important
or like my best friend has just died
or like my doctor just told me I have three days to live
I have such a wealth of dread
and my lips are tingling, ears ringing, eyes blurry
and I really wish that I had had a cigarette today

But I didn't.