This Morning's Mini-Drama by Jacqueline

The Murder of Judge Judy

Mickey:  St. James, I'm sorry I killed Judge Judy by mistake on purpose.

St. James:  That's okay, Mickey, everybody makes mistakes.

Scribd Audiobook Coincidences.

The first one was amazingly weird, but for some reason I let it go.  But today I had a second one--not as weird as the first, but still pretty weird--so I figured I'd get down to it.

Okay.  The first one.  I was listening to Under the Volcano whilst riding my bike.  And at the exact moment that the narrator said, "And Hugh actually did ride over a dead garter snake, embossed on the path like a belt to a pair of bathing trunks.", I road past a dead snake lying in the gutter.  Granted, I didn't ride over it, but I wasn't more than a few inches away.  Pretty fucking freaky, yes?

The second one happened today.  Yesterday I'd been reading the excellent, superb, and astonishing Drawn & Quarterly: Twenty-five Years of Contemporary Cartooning, Comics, and Graphic Novels, edited by Tom Devlin, and I'd read a really interesting story about how this guy--don't remember his name and don't feel like looking it up, sorry, but it doesn't matter--had been in Sweden or Norway or Finland, one of those cold countries, and had found a box of comics that contained three book collections of Ingrid Vang Nyman's Pippi Longstocking.  And there were a few pages from those comics--which Drawn and Quarterly did go on to publish in English, by the way.  I was surprised to find that they were kind of cool, and thought about looking around to see if I could find them at the library or on Scribd.  So today I went on a bike ride, and I was listening to Stieg Larsson's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and I heard this:

     Of the books, about half were mystery paperbacks from Wahlstrom's Manhattan series: Mickey Spillane with titles like Kiss Me, Deadly, with the classic covers by Bertil Hegland. He found half a dozen Kitty books, some Famous Five novels by Enid Blyton, and a Twin Mystery by Sivar Ahlrud--The Metro Mystery. He smiled in recognition. Three books by Astrid Lindgren: The Children of Noisy Village, Kalle Blomkvist and Rasmus, and Pippi Longstocking. 

Pretty fucking weird, eh?

This shit happens to me constantly.  There has got to be a way to use this super power to my advantage.

Tin Hat

Yes, Tin Hat.  Oh, yes.  Yes, yes, yes.  

Ahem.

I have a new friend.  And she sent me a Spotify playlist.  I wanted to respond in kind.  I'd known of Spotify's existence, but had never used it before.  But I had a lot of fun putting that playlist together.  And I was surprised to find that most of what I looked for was there.  (Given that my taste in music is a smidgen on the outré side of things, you know.)  So when I finished that playlist, I went poking around to see what else I could find.  And there was some seriously cool shit . . . some rare shit.  Like (as provided to me by R.) a live version of Roy Harper doing "Rock 'n' Roll Man" from the Stonehenge 1984: A Midsummer Night Rock Show, which I've never seen before.  (But which you can get through Amazon.uk, I've just discovered.)  Hey, wait a minute.  That's not the name of that song.  It's "One Man Rock 'n' Roll Band."  Fuckin' typos everywhere!  

Ahem.

So I was poking around to see what else I could find post R. playlist, and I went looking for "Little Neutrino," by Klatuu.  Yep, there it was.  So I thought I'd start another playlist just for the hell of it.  I entitled it, "I Am Someone You'll Never Know" because (1) it's a line from "Little Neutrino" and (2) given the high intensity and volume verbal flagellations I've received from several of the women in my past, this may have some applicability to moi.  (Though I have to admit that I don't see that at all--I think of myself as a pretty upfront guy.  Could be speck in neighbor log in yours thing, though, right?)  And that kind of became the rudder for this little musical ship.  So I followed "Little Neutrino"  with "Streets of Fire," "Everybody's Talkin'," "There is a Mountain," "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)," "Peace in Mississippi," "Broken Stones," "Search and Destroy," "Isolation," "I Am a Rock," "Atlantis,"  "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)," "Squarehead," "Careful With That Axe, Eugene," "Fuck World Trade," "Busload of Faith," "The End," "(Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay," "I Feel You," "Buried in the Murder," "(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais," and "Good-bye Mr. Ed."  (By, in case you needed to know, Klatuu--as previously mentioned--, Bruce Springsteen, Harry Nilsson, Donovan, Jimi Hendrix, Jimi Hendrix, Paul Weller, Iggy Pop and The Stooges, John Lennon, Paul Simon--sans you-know-who, Donovan, The Suicide Machines--who bring some balls to this R.E.M. song (love you, R.E.M. . . . just sayin'), Iggy Pop, Pink Floyd, Leftover Crack, Lou Reed, Lullaby of Beatle Land--'cause the Beatles's version wasn't available, but I dig the accordion--, Otis Redding, Depeche Mode, The Lonely Wild, The Clash, and Tin Machine.)

"I have my books and my poetry to protect me."

Hells yeah.

Speaking of Tin Machine . . . I was checking out what Spotify had, looking for stuffs I didn't have.  And there were some items, lemme tell ya.  And I hit a play button by accident, and some strangeness started playing.  It was Tin Hat, which was intermingled with Tin Machine.  Because of the Tin, you know.  And it was some groovy kind of shit.  So I started checking out Tin Hat.  And lord and begore ya, they (or one of them, and then joined by some others, maybe all of the others) did the soundtrack for Nebraska, which is one of the most awesomest movies I've seen in some time.  Small world, ennit?

And that's how I became a Tin Hat fan.

You come, too.

ADDENDUM:  Went back to listen to some of that Nebraska Tin Hat . . . and Tin Hat man Mark "Tin" Orton also did the music for Sweet Land, one of the bestest movies ever.  World keep gettin' smaller, chile.

ADDENDUM to the ADDENDUM:  Also found out that The Tin Hat Trio did a song on the soundtrack for Everything is Illuminated (2005) called "Fear of the South."  Everything is Illuminated is a superb film, definitely a ***** in me umble . . . and yet I just saw that it lost over $3 million  (Budget $7,000,000, Box Office $3,601,974).  Is that some shit or what?  I really can't imagine anyone not liking (or even loving) that movie if they sat down to watch it.  What the fuck, people?  Avengers: Age of Ultron grossed $451,039,000 as of 19 June 2015--and is still going strong--and let's face it, that was not a good movie.  (And you know I love comic books, comic book movies, AND the first Avengers, so this is not sour grapes.)  You can't throw down a measly three million on Everything is Illuminated?  Sheesh.

M

So . . . there's this commercial for a dentist's office.  A black dude is sitting on a couch and talking about how times are tough and dentistry stuff costs a lot of money.  And this white gal, who's standing, looks at him and says, "Well, maybe I can help you with that."  And every time I hear that line I think, "That sounds like the set up for a porn video."  Or maybe it's just me.

Your thoughts?

M

wendY'S yelloW mustang

I think of Wendy's yellow Mustang
every time I see a
yellow Mustang
so
not every day,
but at least once or twice a week

Once we were crossing Shelbyville Road
heading into the Mall from Ten Pin Lanes
and she hit a dip in the road
and her bumper fell off
and we had to get out of the car and throw it into the trunk
and Wendy was non-plussed
--maybe it happened all the time

I think.
did that really happen?
I remember it that way,
but it seems unlikely.
Maybe it only partly fell off 
and we got to a parking lot before
putting it into the trunk . . . . 

Of course I loved her,
and when she broke up with her boyfriend
I asked her if we could date
and she said that she didn't want to ruin our friendship
which of course ruined our friendship
proving the old adage that
a bird in the hand is better than an empty hand
and
it's better to keep your mouth shut and feel stupid
than to open it and lose your best friend

She had the most beautiful skin.
Like alabaster.
No really.
Like alabaster.

László lovE

The LFPL has a grand total of five copies of  László Krasznahorkai books: one copy each of Satantango, Seiobo There Below,  and The Melancholy of Resistance, and two copies of War & War.  That (paucity) in itself is depressing, but not surprising.  He ain't  Paula Hawkins, after all.  (LFPL has 103 copies of The Girl on the Train, by the way.)  But here's what is surprising--and not in a good way.  All five books are checked out right now.  (And no, I didn't check them all out.)  So obviously there are a few people who want to read this shit.  Come on, LFPL now, smile on your brother.  Get together a few bucks and send  László some love right now.