I've been doing a little research (oh, research, is that what we're calling it? ha ha) this morning on blow jobs. Seems that according to several sources the sexual act most requested of prostitutes is . . . aw, you guessed it: a blow job. And check this out (from one of the articles I read--yes, I read--during my research):
I Googled "what men loved in bed" and it said blowjobs so i researched how to give a good bj and started doing it to my partner (after being together 9 months) he loves it and i enjoy giving and its unbelieveable how he has changed towards me! He worships me! I give him one as often as possible and i cannot believe how devoted to me he is now! Renee was right about if you want him to commit to you, the last 5 months have been amazing! (sic)
I know, many of you are thinking, "He had to wait 9 months? Sheesh!" (And the rest of you are thinking, "How often is as often as possible?")
And I'm thinking, you know, it's all good . . . but (1) I don't think any form of love making should be one-way, (2) I think that people who don't consider oral sex as sex are probably whore mongers, and (3) there's a big difference between a blow job and face fucking someone, and I don't understand the latter at all. I haven't been there myself (and can pretty much guarantee that I won't ever be there), but it just doesn't look like much fun for the recipient. But what the fuck do I know.
Speaking of jobs . . . this is by far the longest period of time (since I first started working at age 17, if you count Junior Achievement--and yes, I did get paid) that I have not been working. Three years plus something or other. And I've definitely gotten the impression that a lot of people don't cotton to the reality of not working. I can't tell you how many times someone has asked me, with an incredulous look on his / her face, "What do you dooooo?" Or has told me, "I couldn't retire. I wouldn't want to just sit around and watch tv." And I know several people who have either retired and then gone back to work or retired and started working somewhere else . . . and not because they had to for economic reasons, but because there were just too many hours that they couldn't fill without work.
Which is kind of strange. I had quite a few jobs when I was a worker . . . let's see if I can do this in the proper order . . . (?) vehicle emergency light maker & salesman with Junior Achievement, (1) janitor with Abacus, (2) dishwasher with I Don't Remember, (3) math tutor with Catonsville Comnunity College, (4) stock boy with G.C. Murphy's, (5) Signal Security Specialist with the U.S. Army, (6) gas station attendant with Lansdowne Exxon, (7) wire harness assembler with Metro Fabrication, (8) cutter with Label Specialties, (9) janitor with Bellarmine College, (10) stock boy with Target, (11) telephone solicitor with DialAmerica, (12) English tutor with Bellarmine College, (13) substitute teacher with Jefferson County, (14) window washer with I Don't Remember, (15) test car driver with Bendix, (16) proofreader with McCoy's Business Services, (17) teacher with Jefferson County, (18) tutor with Educational Resources, (19) independent tutor with Oldham County, (20) G.E.D. teacher with Jefferson County. Actually I'm not completely sure about the order around the middle section, but more or less that. Oh, the colors? Blue is for Baltimore, Green is for the Army, Lilac is for Louisville, and Yellow / Red is for South Bend. (Cause they're sun colors. If there's a color that starts with the letter S, it's not in my palette here.)
So where was I? Oh, yeah. I've had quite a few jobs. And at every one of them I got the distinct impression that my co-workers's main focal point of interest was to not do any work as often as possible. To maximize break times, to maximize looking-like-I'm-doing-something-when-I'm-not times, etc. And no, I don't include myself in with them. Sorry, but the Protestant Work Ethic must have been drilled into my bones, because I can sincerely say that I left it in the ring on every one of those jobs. No brag, just fact. So it's funny, isn't it? Because you'd think that retirement would be perfect for damned near everybody, because they wouldn't have to pretend to be working anymore. They could just be not working. But maybe it's the pretending that's the important part here, not the not working part. Because when you're pretending you feel like you're getting away with something. Like you're cheating the system. * Which seems really pathetic to me.
But then, I'm more of a "Seems, madam! nay it is; I know not 'seems.'" guy, I suppose. I feel guilty and horrible if I hurt, cheat, or otherwise abuse someone and try to make amends once I realize that I've done so. Maybe that's not a pervasive operating system.
Oh, sorry. Should I have skipped the blow job stuff? My bad.
* "It's the system / Hate the system / What's the system?" "Saturday's Kids" written by Paul Weller, appears on The Jam's Setting Sons album.
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