💘

"Love is not about what you demand. Love is what you are prepared to do for others."

#DarcoMacan, #Tarzan /#CarsonOfVenus

Jo Nesbø's Macbeth

Hey, Jo, where you going with that Shakespeare of yours?

Hey, Jo, I said where you going with that Shakespeare in your hand?

I'm goin' to rewrite Macbeth and his old lady

You know I like messin' 'round with the classics, man

And ain't I too cool....

How do I love Jo Nesbø? Let me count the ways:

The Harry Hole Novels

 1 The Bat

2 Cockroaches

3 The Redbreast

 4 Nemesis

5 The Devil's Star

6 The Redeemer

7 The Snowman

8 The Leopard

9 Phantom

10 Police

11 The Thirst

The Doctor Proctor Novels

12 Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder

Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder: Bubble in the Bathtub

Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder: Who Cut the Cheese?

 Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder: The Great Gold Robbery

Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder: Can Doctor Proctor Save Christmas?

The Olav Johansen Novels

13 Blood on Snow

14 Midnight Sun

Stand-Alone Works

Karusellmusikk 

Det hvite hotellet

Headhunters

The Son

Macbeth

Non-Fiction

Stemmer fra Balkan 

So...not a Complete Oeuvre Guy...but (1) 14 out of 24 ain't a bad batting average, (2) three of the 23 haven't been translated into English, (3) I actually read a Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder book...and it was not, despite the stated claims, laugh out loud funny...and (4) I am currently attempting to read Macbeth, which just came out a few minutes ago.

I first became aware of Jo when a woman I was working up to asking out on a date (I gave up when I found out that she had been stealing money from a student fundraiser for cancer...yep) and I were talking about books we liked and she mentioned this Norwegian fellow. I read my first Harry Hole novel venissoon thereafter, and I was soon off and running, and then impatiently waiting for new installments to come out. I loved the character of Harry Hole. And I loved most of those novels. (The last one or so had slightly weak left lungs.) And I look forward to reading the next one, which is due out next year. And my love for Jo and Harry was so great that I even read the first Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder book. It was as bad as you would probably think it would be, so I didn't go on with that series, despite my serious problems with OCDing writers. And I read those two awful (but blissfully short) Olav Johansen books. I saw the movie Headhunters, which dissuaded me from reading that book, but I did buy The Son and I really meant to read it.... And I even saw the movie version of The Snowman, despite horrific reviews (and despite an interview with the director who claimed that they had run out of money and were unable to finish filming all of the scenes for the movie--which, by the way, I thought was actually pretty good, so there goes my fuckin' credibility. Again.).

Which brings us to Macbeth. I almost bought it when I saw it on the stands, but with a list price of $27, it was out of my league. Went home to see what Amazon could do for me. And it was pretty good: $14.76 hardback. But I was online already, which reminded me to take a look at LFPL...and there it was, with a fairly short wait list. So I got it. As per usual, it sat around collecting dust for a week or so, then I realized that the due date was looming close and that I would not be able to renew it, so I cracked it open.

After just a page or two I had to stop. It was just. Too. Fucking. Corny. It reminded me of the shit that high school students write for goofy ass English assignments.

Write a modern day version of Macbeth.

Hey, I got it. What if Macbeth was a cop...and...and Banquo, he's a cop, too. And McDuff, too. But we'll just call him Duff, because...because. And, and....

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

But I do love Jo Nesbø. So I pulled myself back to it last night. It was still pretty bad, but I started to think I could stand it enough to push myself through. It would definitely be more on the constipation side of the reading spectrum. (I have had some quite lovely diarrhea moments with Edgar Rice Burroughs; even when he's not at his best, the man knows how to tell a story.) But this morning. 

Oh.

Check this out this tender moment between Macbeth and his Lady:

"He turned onto his back. Her hand stroked his stomach, stopped and waited. She was the queen. And her vassal obediently stood up under the silk material."

There are few things that annoy me as much as cutesie-pie references to sex. And besides that, vassals don't stand up to their queen, do they? If you're going to be stupid, you could at least take the trouble to be internally consistent. 

I tried to hang tough and staggered on through a few more pages, but just had to stop at 52 to get this off of my chest. There are almost 400 pages left in this novel. I am pretty sure that I'm not going to make it.

And it's not just the stupid He Had a Hard On thing. This is just a very bad novel. Bad story. Not well-written. 

And that's a shame. Because Jo Nesbø is a really good writer. I hate to think that someone would pick up this novel, be put off by it, and never read another Nesbø after that.

So Public Service Announcement: Do not read this book. Read a Harry Hole instead. Start with the first one...which I couldn't do, as they were published a bit out of order in the USofA...and you will be rewarded with a very rich reading experience. Not only will you get great characters, but you'll get some pretty slam bang detective stories, and you will probably find yourself (as I did at one time) planning a trip to Oslo. 

Shepard Smith is The Man

"...when the president attacks journalists, we question his motivation and try to discover the underlying reason.

"For, historically, those who regularly and as a matter of pattern attack the messenger, who degrade and belittle the purveyors of truth, and work to diminish the free press, often find the facts displeasing and endeavor to keep you from knowing them.

"We are on guard and we hope — politics aside, for the greater good — that you are, too."

 Shepard Smith

FOX News

Song Sung Blue

I chuckled the first time I heard the maxim, "If all else fails, lower your standards." For years I saw it as a mark of cynical humor not to be taken literally. 

But then things started to go to shit, and I was so consistently disappointed at the disparity between my ideals and my realities that I thought, "Well, maybe...." So I gave it a try. And you know what I got? 

Lower standards.

Tweet

Only 133 hits so far...but that's 119 more than my gordon blue blogpost, so...there it is.

(I thought it was pretty good, though. At least as good as my Macron for President tweet, which to date has earned 35,662 hits. Go figure.)



ADDENDUM: I decided I'd have another go at it. Added a few more hash tags. And a "dearie." 

Let's see how that does.

gordon blue

You know how it goes. You're thinking about Zane Grey's Riders of the Purple Sage, so you check out what Wikipedia has to say about it. And then you see that it's been made into a movie several times, so you go over to Netflix to see if they've got anything going on in that department. And they don't, so you go over to Amazon to see if they can help. And they can, but not for free. And some other Purple-ish things turn up, one of which is The Best of the New Riders of the Purple Sage, the cover of which features some pretty tantalizing breasts, so you click on that. And one of the songs there to sample is entitled "I Don't Need No Doctor," which reminds you of the Robert Palmer song, "Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)." And then you really want to hear that, so you look and lo and behold, the Robert Palmer studio version doesn't seem to be available, so you end up clicking on a couple of other renditions, and one of them is by some fellow going by the name of Gordon Blue, and it is a weird kind of jazzy swing thing and the voice sounds quite a bit like Ray Charles, and then you go over to his album and it is full of all kinds of good shit: Whole Lotta Love, Smoke On The Water, Still Got The Blues, Speed King, Fire And Rain, Hey Joe, Walking In Memphis, Walk On The Wild Side, Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor). Radar Love, A Whiter Shade Of Pale. Holy shit, that's a spicy meatball! (Try it, you'll like it.)

And good news, you can listen to the album in its entirety on Spotify. Which I'm doing now. Thank you, Spotify. 

Oh...here ya go:

It's America, Bitch.

Here's One I composed for our illustrious leader, Mr. DJ #Trump. #ThisIsAmericaBitch.

http://phonynoam.tumblr.com/post/176024781020/this-is-america-bitch-now-with-monster-vocal

P.S. Just finished a remix which I think I like better than the original. Here 'tis:

http://phonynoam.tumblr.com/post/176053511165/its-america-bitch-gonna-burn-you-witch-hey

The Handmaid's Tale

You Can't Hide Your Lion Eyes

Again, Lesser Burroughs Visions are "disappointed."

 I went for The Lad and the Lion next (Burroughs #55) because I'd read some desultory things about it. And, you know--center of the donut. After all, how could a book with such a terrible title...so obviously derivative of Tarzan...be worth much of anything? And etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Well.

I'll say this.

The Lad and the Lion did have its fair share of flaws. The obvious, of course. And the Hit Upside The Head And Lose Your Memory Bit (again). And some improbable plot turns. But...to tell the truth, I didn't really think about any of those things while I was reading the book. Did I say reading? I meant while I was being pulled through this book at breakneck speed. Cause I really bolted this one down.

These were a few of my favorite things:

"...the mighty jaws of the lion closed full upon his face. When they came away, the face came with them leaving only a bloody smear of brains and broken bones to mark where once the features of a human being had been."

I mean...that is some exTREME fuckin' violence, ennit? Which I'm not really into, but it just kind of startled me here, y'know? I just didn't see that shit coming. And sometimes that's a good thing in a novel.

And tell me if this one sounds familiar: "...he [the lion] and the lad were alone upon the deserted ship with no bars between them." Life of π indeed!

And I thought that this might be a cool title...or head of chapter...quote: "for the eyes of the lion there is no night."

A little existential dreadnaught: "Why do we strive? Everything we attain always turns out to be something we do not want, and then we try to change it for something else that will be equally bad."

And a littke wry socio-political commentary: "They seemed to prefer hoes in their hands to bayonets in their bellies. Some people are like that, and it is always a matter of embarrassment to their rulers. "

 A little light misogynistic humor: "She didn't look quite so badly by moonlight, but he couldn't help thinking that she would have looked less badly had there been no moon."

More sarcasm about speaking and words: "In his unsophistication he had not yet come to realize that most men consider the gift of speech solely as a means of defeating the purposes of truth. "


 And just a well-turned phrase: "How his heart leaped as hope grew almost to certainty."

I actually ended up wishing that there had been a sequel to this one. Which actually seems to have been the intention, but I guess ERB had too many things on his plate to get around to it. He really was pretty much the king of sequels, wasn't he? I mean...there are at least 8 series in his oeuvre. That's a lot of balls to keep in the air. 

Speaking of The Efficiency Expert...or Ah! Bowakawa!

So I decided to listen to a bit more of The Efficiency Expert while I did my stationary biking hour today. Usually I watch something whilst biking, as the visual + audio provides greater opportunities for distraction than mere audio, but I was pretty hooked on that novel and wanted to have some more of it right quick. I hadn't gotten very far into my routine, though, before I heard this line:

"And so he continued permitting himself to be battered up four or five times a week at the hands of the pussy Mr. Brophy."

Um...did he say pussy??? I finished up the stretches that I was doing and got on the computer to do a little text check courtesy of Project Gutenberg. 

Yep. He did indeed say pussy.

Well, that's not very nice, is it? But it is kind of funny. 

Ha ha funny.

My search also revealed that I could look forward to this line--

"Jimmy hit him whenever and wherever he elected to hit, and he hit him hard, while Brophy, at best only a second or third rate fighter, pussy and undertrained, was not only unable to elude the blows of his adversary but equally so to land effectively himself."

--in the same chapter, so I've got at least one more pussy to look forward to. And now, of course, I'm going to have to go to the Oxford English Dictionary to investigate this whole pussy matter. After I do my stationary biking. Maybe.

Later...

I managed to restrain myself and finished the biking routine before getting back to my pussy investigation. Alas, there are no more pussies to be found in The Efficiency Expert beyond the two I named. But my etymological investigations turned up some interesting stuff.

To wit...

Apparently pussy has been with us for quite some time. I found references to it being used in the 1580s as a term of endearment (?) for females...and as a term of antipathy for men (specifically, and not surprisingly, an accusation that they were effeminate). My investigations also revealed to me that an alternate term for pussy-whipped was...and I swear that I am not making this up...cunt-beaten. Man, I love etymology. 

Oh, I also learned that the Agatha Christie book The Thirteen Problems makes reference to pussy or pussies four times--my favorite of which is the simple ejaculation, "And I don't like pussies." Man, this shit is as funny as the Joker Boner references. (And if that doesn't ring any bells, do yourself a favor and Google Joker Boners. I know my sense of humor is not very refined, but I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. Even just thinking about that shit makes me laugh.)

So I didn't really find what I was looking for--how pussy was at one time an acceptable term meaning effeminate--but it makes sense given the fact that the term was not considered vulgar for a pretty long time...and that it was associated with effeminate behavior from way back when. That's good enough for me.

Audiobooks

I had just finished listening to the most excellent The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels (written by Jon Meacham), and was so flushed with exuberance for that title that I decided to stay with the history thing and give a listen to Doris Kearns Goodwin's Lyndon Johnson and the American Dream: The Most Revealing Portrait of a President and Presidential Power Ever Written. (I'd also become interested in LBJ in particular because of Meacham's comments about him in The Soul of America.) But pretty much from the start I was unhappy with the book. For one thing, the rotating narration approach (by Gabra Zackman and Jim Frangione) was very distracting for me. There were times when the male voice would only come in for a sentence or two, and it seemed very intrusive. Give me one narrator, or give me no breath. Also, Goodwin lays a psychological analysis trip on top of her comments about LBJ, and that got bullshitty very quickly. As soon as someone starts talking about a castration complex, I'm pretty much at the door. 

I limped along for awhile, and as I went out to cut the grass (a 90 minute enterprise, so some solid listening time) I queued it up...and that fuckin' narration relay race started up, and I just couldn't handle it. I stopped the audiobook, exiled it from my phone, and went looking for something more palatable. And when I pulled up my SAVED list, you'll never guess what was right there on top of my audiobooks list. Nope. Nope. Nope. Yep. Edgar Rice Burroughs. Specifically The Efficiency Expert. 

Now, at the time I was already reading Savage Pellucidar at night with Joe, The Outlaw of Torn on my Kindle, John Taliaferro's Tarzan Forever biography of ERB, and a Tarzan / Carson of Venus trade paperback from Dark Horse, so you'd think that that would have been quite enough Edgar Rice Burroughs for one man...but you'd be wrong. I started listening to The Efficiency Expert. And was pretty much instantly delighted. Here again was the wry, sarcastic tone and the excellent sense of humor I'd loved so much in the Burroughs Westerns. I dearly love the John Carter of Mars novels and the Tarzan novels and (especially) the Pellucidar novels, all of which ERB is well known for, but his "lesser" novels have been even better! The man could write.

It doesn't hurt that the reader on this book...just the one, by the way...is truly superb. It's a LibriVox recording, which doesn't always bode well, but I am hoping that when I get to the end of the book this guy identifies himself, as I would like to have him read some more stuffs to me. And, of course, I would like to write him a fan letter...maybe get to be pen pals or Facebook friends, you know....

P.S. I keep forgetting that this is the 21st century. The reader is Delmar H. Dolbier, and it looks like he's read lots of other stuff for LibriVox. You can also catch him onstage if you live near Fort Worth's Hardy and Betty Sanders Theatre. I'd be there if it weren't 867.2 miles away.

The Passion of The The Outlaw of Torn The

I was prepared not to feel great love for The Outlaw of Torn. 

For one thing, it was Edgar Rice Burroughs's second novel...and even though I did dearly love the first, A Princess of Mars, that second novel is often problematic.... The first novel might be the product of years or even decades of work, but that second one is often quite rushed.  And, having read the complete works of several writers now, it's become obvious that the earliest and latest published works are usually not the best stuff. In fact, one of the reasons I read this book now was because I didn't want to get to the end of the Burroughs oeuvre and only have third or fourth rate works to read--as has been the case with quite a few of my beloved writers (Willeford, Doctorow, Ellison...even Vonnegut).

Also, I've been reading a bit of John Taliaferro's Tarzan Forever, a biography of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and there are a couple of details about The Outlaw of Torn which prepared me for a sub-substandard work. First, ERB had, indeed, written the work very quickly. In fact, after his editor had suggested that ERB try his hand at a historical romance for his second effort, it took him only three weeks to write The Outlaw of Torn. Second, the novel was rejected. Twice. And to add insult to injury, the editor offered to buy the plot from ERB and give it to another writer. In response to all of that, ERB actually wrote a letter saying that he was thinking of giving up on the whole writing schtick, as he obviously didn't have what it took to be a real writer. Wow. Had he stuck to that, I'd guess that John Carter of Mars would have been quickly forgotten...and of course the world would never have heard of Tarzan. Or The Land That Time Forgot. Or Pellucidar. Or Carson of Venus. Or that great Metallica song, "The Outlaw Torn." Or....

I just finished reading The Outlaw of Torn. I'm not sure when I started it, but not more than a few days. It was a bit stilted at times, I'll confess, but I really liked this book. A lot. I wish that there had been a sequel. Or two. It did not seem like the rushed work of a novice writer at all. In fact, I found it chock full not only of action and romance, but humor and even wisdom.

Highly recommended.

Here are a few pretties for you:

"But what are the duties?" said he whom they called Peter the Hermit. "To follow Norman of Torn where he may lead, to protect the poor and the weak, to lay down your lives in defence of woman, and to prey upon rich Englishmen and harass the King of England." The last two clauses of these articles of faith appealed to the ruffians so strongly that they would have subscribed to anything, even daily mass, and a bath, had that been necessary to admit them to the service of Norman of Torn.

"...his huge stomach made it necessary for him to go upon all fours before he could rise, so that he got up much after the manner of a cow, raising his stern high in air in a most ludicrous fashion. As he gained his feet he saw the girl turn her head from him to hide the laughter on her face."

"For my part" laughed the outlaw, "I am willing to leave it in His hands; which seems to be the way with Christians. When one would shirk a responsibility, or explain an error, lo, one shoulders it upon the Lord."

"I may be wrong, for I am ill-versed in religious matters, but my conception of God and scapegoat is not that they are synonymous."

Oh, yeah. Give me more of that, foe show.

Edgar Rice Burroughs, Theologian

"I may be wrong, for I am ill-versed in religious matters, but my conception of God and scapegoat is not that they are synonymous."

Edgar Rice Burroughs

The Outlaw of Torn

...which was his second novel, and which was twice rejected by his magazine editor. ERB was so depressed about this rejection that he said he was going to give up on writing. Then he wrote Tarzan.

Public Service Announcement: Comixology Sale!

The first issue of Alan Moore's Providence was $3.99 when it came out. The eleven other issues of the series were $4.99 apiece. I bought them all hot off the racks, so forgetting the The Great Escape Holds Customer Discount...which I appreciate, but which really doesn't do a whole lot more than negate the tax...that means I spent almost $59 on that series. And you know money is a little tight for me. And I tend to shy away from comic books that cost $3.99, much less $4.99. But you know what? I was happy to pay full price for Providence, because it was that good. I'll even be tempted to buy it again when (someday) they release it in one big fat volume. Especially if it's fancy. All of which I say just to give some weight to this statement: This is a truly superb comic book. This is something very special.

And Avatar has a killer sale going on on Comixology right now, and if you get over there before it ends, you can purchase all twelve issues of Providence for a mere $11.88. That's right. 99¢ per issue. A savings of about $47. 

And did I mention that this is a superb comic book? I'm talking one of the best comic books I've ever read...and I've been reading these fuckers for fifty years. Literally. (Literally literally.) 

While I'm here, I also want to mention that there's a Rich Tomasso sale going on as well, and you can get most of his brilliant books for 89¢ a pop. I'm particularly fond of Spy Seal, but all of his books are worth reading.

ICE, ICE, Babies

"You can steal somebody's money and nobody seems to get terribly excited about it, except the feller whose money it was. But steal a woman or a kid and by God it's everybody's business, and they all want to kill you."

#EdgarRiceBurroughs #ImmigrantChildren #ICE

Devils

"Once more a Christian nation had exterminated a primitive people who had dared defend their homeland against a greedy and ruthless invader."

#EdgarRiceBurroughs

#ApacheDevil

My third ERB Western. All of which have been so good that (1) I wish he had written more Westerns and (2) ahmo have to read some by other writers. Got any favorites? 

Today in Twitterland

I'll immodestly admit that I think this is pretty fuckin' funny, but still...more hits in ten minutes than the blog had all day yesterday? I have got to figure out how to use this to the advantage of songSoFinnocencE&experiencE. 

Carson of Venus by Michael Wm. Kaluta

Hey, this is the 21st fucking century. So when I find out that Michael Wm. Kaluta did a Carson of Venus series in the back of DC's Korak, Son of Tarzan (continued in DC's Tarzan Family title), why can't I go online and download that motherfucker before you can say, " I wont thet"? I don't know. But at least there's MyComicsShop, which has all of the issues I wont / need in stock at pretty modest prices (most of them $1.70 a pop, which is cheaper than a typical Comixology download...but of course shipping will even that out).

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬˚˚˚¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Well, that was then.

I was just about to pop that order button when I stumbled upon some details on the issues under consideration (Korak, Son of Tarzan #46 through #56, Tarzan Family #60 through #65, and Tarzan #230) that indicated  that the Tarzan Family stories were not continuations of the Korak stories, but reprints. To wit:

1 Issue #46: "Mars - or Bust!" script by Len Wein, art by Mike Kaluta; Carson

Napier takes off for Mars, but ends up on Venus instead; When he parachutes to the surface, he pincher-clawed beast attacks him; Three Venusians rescue him, but take him as their captive. (9 pages). Tarzan Family issue #60 reprints this.

2 Issue #47: “The Girl in the Garden," script by Len Wein, art by Mike Kaluta;

Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pirates of Venus (6 pages). Tarzan Family issue #61 reprints this (and identifies it as Pirates of Venus Part 2).

3 Issue #48: "Battle Cry!", script by Len Wein, art by Mike Kaluta; During a jog,

Carson comes upon some thieves; He realizes that the thieves mean to harm a beautiful woman in the garden; He leaps into action believing he will startle the intruders, instead they turn to fight, with weapons in hand; Though out-numbered five-to-one, Carson battles them, but then retreats when he notices several Venusian warriors coming after the intruders too; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pirates of Venus. (6 pages)  Tarzan Family issue #62 reprints this.

4 Issue #49: "Gathering Tarel," script by Len Wein, art by Mike Kaluta; While

jogging, Carson comes upon thieves and battles them; When Venusian warriors enter the scene, Carson retreats; Carson hunts for "Tarel" in the lush Venusian forest with Duran's son, Kamlotad; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pirates of Venus. (7 pages)   Tarzan Family issue #63 reprints this.

5 Issue #50: "By Kamlot's Grave," script by Len Wein, art by Mike Kaluta; While

searching for "Tarel" (cobwebs), Karson and Kamlot climb up a tree only to find a giant spider ready to protect its web; While going home through the forest, they get attacked by flying furies (Klangan) Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pirates of Venus. (7 pages)   Tarzan Family issue #64 reprints this.

6 Issue #51: "Mutiny at Sea," script by Len Wein, art by Mike Kaluta; After Carson

and Kamlot hunt for "Tarel" (cobwebs), the two go home through the vast Venusian forest and get attacked by flying furies (Klangan); While a prisoner on a Thorist's warship, Carson begins to organize a group of "Soldiers of Liberty" and awaits for their chance to strike; Days later, a sea-monster attacks the boat; Carson's and his Soldiers of Liberty attack the ship's captain and his men; After the mutiny, Carson is hailed as the new captain; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pirates of Venus. (7 pages)   Tarzan Family issue #65 reprints this.

7 Issue #52: "Duare... Princess of Venus," script and art by Mike Kaluta; Carson’s

crew of liberated prisoners, now pirates, set sail to the enemy's land to fight the Thoras; Another Thora warship confronts them; The ship's captain has captured Duare, the Princess of Venus; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pirates of Venus. (5 pages)

8 Issue #53: “Catastrophe," script and art by Mike Kaluta; Its been several months

since Carson of Venus rescued Princess Duare; Now they sail together on his ship, arguing about love; Winged furies (Klangans) burst into the room and kidnap the princess; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pirates of Venus. (5 pages)

9 Issue #54: "Into the Land of Noobol," script and art by Mike Kaluta; A winged

fury (Klangan) grabs Princess Duare; A band of Thorist warriors, lead by the evil Moosko, attack Carson and take him down; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Lost On Venus. (5 pages)

10 Issue #55:"Lost on Venus," script and art by Mike Kaluta; Carson, after escaping

Thorist's death chamber, hears the screams of a woman; He finds the princess being stuck by a dagger by the evil Moosko; Carson chokes him to death; Carson and the princess put on cloaks; Carson slips the ring of Moosko on his own finger; They exit the castle, but are stopped at the main gates by a guard; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Lost On Venus. (5 pages)

11 Issue #56: "Babes in the Woods," script and art by Mike Kaluta; After escaping

Thorists castle, Carson and the Princess realize they are lost many miles inland from the sea; Beast-Men surround them and prepare them for their cooking pit; Tharbans (sabretooth tigers) enter the scene; Adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Lost On Venus. (5 pages)

&

From Tarzan:

12 Issue #230: "Into the Noobolian Valley" script and art by Michael Kaluta with Phil

Trumbo. (5 pages)

And investigating that led me to... http://diversionsofthegroovykind.blogspot.com, wherein I found, seemingly in no particular order, lots of parts of the Carson of Venus story. I started figuring it all out, and damned if I wasn't able to locate most of the 72 pages I was looking for. And then, in looking for the last pages--the "Lost on Venus" segment from Korak, Son of Tarzan Issue #55--you'll never guess what I found. Nope, try again. Yep. All twelve parts, in order, posted on http://www.erbzine.com/mag41/4151.html. And not only did I find that last chapter...I also found some (6/7th) of Kaluta's uninked pencils for one of the chapters! So I'm guessing that Kaluta must have been okay with the ERB folks putting this up...unless they snuck into his house to steal those pages or something. 

And that brings this package up to a very respectable 78 pages, by the way. Which I intend on reading any minute now. More news as it happens.

ANYway...I just saved $40. But hey, DC...I'd STILL pay a fair number of dollars for a nice, hardbound Smyth-sewn, archival paper edition of this thing. You listening? Probably not. But hey, IDW...this thing is right up your alley, isn't it? Come on, guys. We can count on you, right?

Is this mic on?

This Week's Comics: June 27, 2018

Big Comixology week, courtesy of a Spend $30 And Get $15 Off sale, which I tried to resist but couldn't. So I got

Injustice 2 (2017-) #64 for 59¢
The Greatest Adventure #2 through #9 for 93¢ each ($7.44 total)
Edgar Rice Burroughs' At the Earths Core for $4.68
John Byrne's Stowaway to the Stars #1: Special Edition for $3.78

With tax (45¢) that makes a grand total of $16.94. For 9 comic books and two graphic novels. Not too fuckin' bad, eh? Comxilogy, I love you.

And look at all of the ERB I've got now. Mmm-hmmm.


It was pretty slim pickens on the The Great Escape front, though:

Previews (which includes all those other inserts from Marvel, DC, and Image...which are kind of shit these days) and 

Saga #53...which was great, of course. And shocking. And $2.99. (Did you hear that, Robert Kirkman?)

I was going to go for The Prisoner #3, despite my better judgment, but it was sold out. I'm guessing TGE only ordered 2 or 3 copies, so that's not a good sign per se.

Again, Jon Meacham's The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels

Probably should just say, "Go buy & read Jon Meacham's The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels--and keep a highlighter close to hand, 'cause you're gonna need it, chile." Which you most certainly should do. But meanwhile...here are two more things that Mr. Meachem quoted, both of these reference Huey Long Trump:

"Frankly, we are afraid of him. He is unscrupulous beyond belief. He might say anything about me, something entirely untrue, but it would ruin me in my state....It's like challenging a buzz saw. It is safer for me and the rest of us to leave him alone."

& (even more frightening)

"He will pose as a misunderstood man, and to most listeners he will give their first information of what he has accomplished in Louisiana. He will be direct, picturesque, and amusing, a relief after the attenuated vagueness of most of the national speaking today. He will promise a nest egg of $5,000 for every deserving family in America, this to be the minimum of poverty in his brave new world. He rashly will undertake to put all the employables to work in a few months. He will assail President Roosevelt with a passion which may at first offend listeners, but in the end he might stir up opposition of a bitterness the President has not tasted in his life. Obviously, he cannot succeed while the country still has hopes of the success of the New Deal and trusts the President. Huey's chances depend on those sands of hope and trust running out. He is no menace if the President produces reform and recovery. But if in two years, even six, misery and fear are not abated in America the field is free to the same kind of promise-mongers who swept away Democratic leaders in Italy and Germany."

The latter is from Raymond Gram Swing,  writing in The Nation (January, 1935). But of course it could have been written this morning about Mr. Trump, couldn't it?

Anyway...read that book, brahs and tahs. It will actually make you feel a little better about all of this Trumpshit...because you'll see that (1) we can fight it and (2) we will survive it.

Nathanael West's A Cool Million, Now Available in Orange

I was just listening to a bit more of Jon Meacham's The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels, and I was brought up short by a quotation from Nathanael West's A Cool Million, a novel I think that I shall need to read in the near future. Since I didn't own a copy of that book...and since no e-version of it seems to be available for sale or steal, I Googled about a bit until I found what I was looking for online. The online version had a bit more than was quoted in Jon Meacham's book, but I decided to go full frontal on it. The punctuation may be off (my first source was not attentive to paragraph breaks), and I don't have 100% confidence in the fidelity of this to West's work, but it will definitely get the point across, so enough prevaricating. May I introduce to you the one and only Shagpoke Whipple...and his Peppery Band of Lonelyhearted Trumpsters.

“I’m a simple man,” he said with great simplicity, “and I want to talk to you about simple things. You’ll get no highfalutin talk from me. 

“First of all, you people want jobs. Isn’t that so?” 

An ominous rumble of assent came from the throats of the poorly dressed gathering. 

“Well, that’s the only and prime purpose of the National Revolutionary Party–to get jobs for everyone. There was enough work to go around in 1927, why isn’t there enough now? I’ll tell you; because of the Jewish international bankers and the Bolshevik labor unions, that’s why. It was those two agents that did the most to hinder American business and to destroy its glorious expansion. The former because of their hatred of America and love for Europe and the latter because of their greed for higher and still higher wages.

“This is our country and we must fight to keep it so. If America is ever again to be great, it can only be through the triumph of the revolutionary middle class. 

“We must drive the Jewish international bankers out of Wall Street! We must destroy the Bolshevik labor unions! We must purge our country of all the alien elements and ideas that now infest her! “America for Americans! Back to the principles of Andy Jackson and Abe Lincoln!”

Oh, my. Good thing that it's just a work of fiction, isn't it?