So there's that.
And I was just looking at the 24 books that remain after I finish Pictures From Italy, my current reading, and couldn't help but notice that there were three volumes devoted to Christmas tales: two volumes of Christmas Stories & and one volume of Christmas Books. And you know...the cygnoides IS getting corpulent.
So I thought I'd take a look at the math.
Christmas Stories Volume I is 456 pages long and includes 15 stories, none of which I’d ever heard of previously.
Christmas Stories Volume II is 472 pages long and includes 6 stories, none of which I’d ever heard of previously.
Christmas Books is 525 pages long and includes 5 stories, amongst which are “A Christmas Carol” and “The Cricket on the Hearth,” neither of which I’ve previously read, but both of which I’ve heard of, of course (of course). And I’ve seen a number of film adaptations of the former...my favorite being the one with Mr. Magoo.
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| https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x55fqu0 |
So that’s a whole lot of Christmas. 1,453 pages’ worth of Christmas.
At my going rate of 30 pages per day, that means it would take me 49 days to read all three of these Volumes.
Well. Check this out:
As of this writing, there are 55 reading days until Christmas.
55 - 49 = 6.
And I'm currently reading Pictures From Italy, which is 211 pages long. But I've already read 33 pages of it, which means I have 178 pages to go. And at 30 pages per day, that's 6 days' worth of reading.
Hmmm. 55 - 49 - 6 = Do Able.
So I'm going to give it a shot. I don't know if I have the stamina to read about Christmas for 49 days straight, but we'll find out, won't we?
News as it happens.
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As it happens:
I decided not to wait to start my Christmas Reading.
"A Christmas Tree" (1850) runs from page 1 to 21. It's not without its interesting moments, but it certainly isn't a short story. Just a little literary ramble, really. It starts with a description of the ornaments on a Christmas tree, then somehow careens into a series of short ghost stories. (According to the rather listless Introduction, Dickens saw Christmas as the perfect time for ghost stories.)
11/3 to 11/4
"What Christmas Is As We Grow Older" (1851) This one runs from page 25 * to 30, so just a little wisp of a thing. And a thing it is, for once again, it's certainly not a story. It's mostly a slip of an essay insisting that nothing must be excluded from Christmas. Not a bad sentiment, of course, but possibly not worthy of six pages of text. One paragraph did catch my interest:
"And is our life here, at the best, so constituted that, pausing as we advance at such a noticeable mile-stone in the track as this great birthday, we look back on the things that never were, as naturally and full as gravely as on the things that have been and are gone, or have been and still are? If it be so, and so it seems to be, must we come to the conclusion that life is little better than a dream, and little worth the loves and strivings that we crowd into it?"
Well, Dickens doesn't leave us hanging. The next word in the text is "No!"
But he's asked the question, and that isn't erased by the quick response. In fact, you could even be forgiven for thinking that there's something of desperation in the immediacy, brevity, and exclamatory nature of that response.
Just sayin', sir.
At any rate, that paragraph made this "story" worthwhile for me.
* The seeming gap in page numbers is due to the fact that each story is preceded by a title page with a blank back. **
** And yes, I am still counting those as pages. I didn't number 'em, after all.
"The Poor Relation's Story" (1852)
Page 33 to 45. This was close to being a story. A man speaking to his relations - presumably - tells a story about living a meager life, then seems to say actually that's not true, here's the story of my life, and tells a different story. At the end of that stiry he makes a reference to the castle in which he lives being a castle in the air. I didn't get it.
11/4
"The Child's Story" (also 1852)
Pages 49 to 53. An allegory, I suppose. But not a very good one. I have to admit that at this point I was beginning to wonder if I could sustain myself through the reading of another 1,400 pages (or so) of this kind of stuff. I might have to dial it back a bit.
Time will tell. And so will I.
"The Schoolboy's Story" (1853)
Pages 57 to 68. A character sketch relaying the rise of Old Cheeseman from student to school benefactor. Slightly interesting, but not enough so to make me want to read another Christmas Story today, thank you very much.
11/5
"Nobody's Story" (no date listed in the book, but the internet says it's another 1853 thing)
Pages 71 to 77. At first I thought this was actually going to be a story story, but it didn't take long for it to slide into yet another allegory. And another one told primarily through summative narration, which is never very interesting. I can't understand why Dickens, who is indisputably one of the greatest storytellers in the history of English literature, seems so averse to telling stories when it comes to this "Christmas Series." Hopefully that will change soon. ('Cause I'm pretty tired of this stuff.)
11/6
"The Seven Poor Travellers" (1854)
Pages 81 to 112. So that was a surprise. 32 pages! And? Well...let's put it this way: it starts out as a story, then it turns into the narrator of that story telling a story to a group of six travellers. But the story he tells is actually a pretty good story, and not just a narrative summary thing. So I'd say this qualifies as the first real story in this collection of "stories."
11/6 - 11/7
Just finished Pictures From Italy, so I suppose it's time to make the official transition from "I'm reading some Dickens Christmas stuff" to My Next Daily Devotional Reading Project is...Christmas Stories Volume I." Which I've already gotten a pretty good start on, as you've seen. Assuming you're there. At any rate, I've gotten a good enough start on it to wonder if I really have it in me to read all three volumes of Christmas Stories. But at the very least I'm going to finish Volume I, so without further ado...
Day 1 (DDRD 1,834) November 8, 2022
Keeping in mind that I'd already read 124 pages in this volume "on the side" as I was going through Pictures From Italy, today I read from page 113 to 134--which is only 21 pages--today. Which didn't take me to the end of "The Holley-Tree." (1855) But (1) it's a long story (pages 115 to 154) and (2) it was a really really bad day.
Day 2 (DDRD 1,835) November 9, 2022
Read to page 164. So I got in my 30 (a tough thirty), and I finally finished "The Holley-Tree." (1856) 11/8 to 11/9 Sorry to say that while it got off to a promising start, venisoon after this thing just became a jumbled series of stories about Inns I Have Stayed In. As with the previous stories in this collection, it just seemed to ramble on without purpse. There was an attempt to create a sensible framing story, but it certainly wasn't enough to make this mess of words worth the time I spent reading them. It's hard to believe that this story was written AFRTer Dickens had written great works like Barnaby Rudge and Bleak House, though.
I also started reading "The Wreck of the Golden Mary" (1856). It's another long story (pages 157 to 190), and I didn't get far enough to get much of a feel for it. But I did realize that I'm kind of tired of first person narratives. Come on, Charlie...tell us a feckin' STORy!
Day 3 (DDRD 1,836) November 10, 2022
But I have to say that despite the 1st personing, "TWotGM was actually a story story. And a sea story, of all things. Other than descriptions of Atlantic crossings in Martin Chuzzlewit and American Notes (fiction and non-fiction, respectively), I'm pretty sure that I've never read a sea story by Dickens before this. So that was a first. Well, two firsts, really. And a third: it was a good story. But not what I'd think of as a Christmas story by any means, what with shipwreck, starvation, threats if murder, and the death of a baby. Not to mention discussions of cannibalism. And no mentions of anything Christmas whatsoever that I could discern.
Another first occurs to me: there were several lines which seemed quote-worthy to me:
"...there is always contagion in weakness and selfishness." (171 - 172) *
"...nothing vanished from the eye if God, though much might pass away from the eyes of men." (182)
As for the second one, Dickens also goes on to say that God never loses sight of the innocent children we once were...well, let's just let him say it:
“We were all of us,” says I, “children once; and our baby feet have strolled in green woods ashore; and our baby hands have gathered flowers in gardens, where the birds were singing. The children that we were, are not lost to the great knowledge of our Creator. Those innocent creatures will appear with us before Him, and plead for us. What we were in the best time of our generous youth will arise and go with us too. The purest part of our lives will not desert us at the pass to which all of us here present are gliding. What we were then, will be as much in existence before Him, as what we are now.”
Pretty lovely, isn't it?
My only complaint about this story is that it ended too soon. And I don't mean in the I Wanted More sense, but in the The Story Didn't End sense.
But it was by far the best story I've read in this collection, and gives me a little hope that the remaining stories might not all be wretched.
So...11/9 to 11/10 for that one. And I read to page 192, so close to 30 pages for the day.
And I might try to read a little bit more today. But I might not, too. After all, I did get myself 124 pages ahead of the game by doing some side reading in this book while I was still on Pictures From Italy.
News as it happens.
* Anyone else thinking "Republican Party 2016 to Present"?
As it happens: Read a bit more...to page 201. Which means I got a start on "The Perils of Certain English Prisoners" (1857), which runs through pages 193 to 247, so yes, another long one. In fact, the longest yet. And I'm thinking that that's a good sign, as Dickens seems to be at his best in the marathon. (In the 50 yard dash he tends to stop, spin around in circles, then head in the opposite direction until the wind blows him into a different orientation.)
"Now, I confess...if I had been captain of the Christopher Columbus, instead of private in the Royal Marines, I should have kicked Christian George King--who was no more a Christian than he was a King or a George--over the side, without exactly knowing why, except that it was the right thing to do." (197)
Day 4 (DDRD 1,837) November 11, 2022
Read to page 230. So not yet to the end of "The Perils of Certain English Prisoners" (1857)...though I'd very much like to finish it off today, so I may go back for another dip later on.
It's not a very good story, but it is very much a STORY, so at least there's that. And (once again) it doesn't really feel like a Dickens story in style...more like Robert Louis Stevenson, perhaps, in its action-oriented style. (It's a pirate battle story.)
Two things I did find particularly interesting. First, a reference to an insect named a cockchafer. That's right. Now, I didn't make any comment when Dickens named a character Richard Doubledick (in "The Seven Poor Travellers"), but cockchafer? Well, yes, I had to look that up...and yes, I had to comment on it.
Here's a Public Domain picture of one of these creatures:
And now I'm moving on.
Second, at the end of the first chapter of this story there's a little editorial commentary which tells us that the second chapter was actually not written by Dickens. I had to look it up elsewhere to find out that the writer was Wilkie Collins, who is identified as "Dickens' protégé." That was news to me as well. And get this: the second chapter is left out of the book (though they do give a summary of it), and the third chapter (which was written by Dickens) follows the first, but is labelled as Chapter II. WTF?
P.S. Had some minutes while waiting for Joe to get out of work, and I managed to finish off "The Perils of Certain English Prisoners," which means I read to page 247. So that's a pretty big reading day. And it was enjoyable, actually, because this was a pretty good story. Nothing substantial, but an exciting yarn, for sure. And not quite as well-written as "The Wreck of the Golden Mary," but with one element that makes it a superior story: it actually had an ending. I'm definitely feeling more hopeful about this Volume after these past two stories. Oh, and once again there was no sign of Christmas trappings whatsoever. Don't know what's up with that, but it's okay by me.
11/10 - 11/11
Day 5 (DDRD 1,838) November 12, 2022
Read to page 277, which put me all the way through
"Going Into Society" (1858) Pages 251 to 265
This was pretty much a waste of paper. The voice--lower class dialect--was interesting, but the story--which involved talking to someone who told stories--didn't amount to anything for me. I actually thought the end of this was the end of the first chapter, so abruptly did it cut off the narrative. There was no hint of a resolution at all.
...and just a bit into
"The Haunted House" (1859) Pages 269 to 302.
Speaking of which...an editorial intrusion on the first page notes that this story had 8 chapters, but that some were written by others, and only the Dickens written chapters would appear here. I Googled, and here's what this means:
"The Mortals in the House" (Charles Dickens)"The Ghost in the Clock Room" (Hesba Stretton)
"The Ghost in the Double Room" (George Augustus Sala)
"The Ghost in the Picture Room" (Adelaide Anne Procter)
"The Ghost in the Cupboard Room" (Wilkie Collins)
"The Ghost in Master B's Room" (Charles Dickens)
"The Ghost in the Garden Room" (Elizabeth Gaskell)
"The Ghost in the Corner Room" (Charles Dickens)
So we're being given a "story" which only includes chapters 1, 6, and 8?
No. As if that's not bad enough, so far as I can tell, the Chapter 8 identified above is not included in this book. After more than a few minutes of looking around, I finally found the mysterious Chapter 8...which turned out to be a mere slip of a thing 732 words long. Still...isn't this supposed to be THE COMPLETE DICKENS??? I'm going to print out that fuckin' chapter and stick it in this book.
ADDENDUM: I went back and had another look at the aforementioned editorial intrusion, and realized that I'd misread it.
If you're as slow as I am, then here's the translation: we're not printing Chapter 8 here.
So from now on I shall refer to this as THE COMPLETE DICKENS EXCEPT FOR CHAPTER 8 OF THE HAUNTED HOUSE. Though for the sake of space, I'll abbreviate that to TCDEFC8OTHH.
There, that's better.
Speaking of "The Haunted House," it seems to actually be a story. And it has a bit of that wacky Dickens stuff going on. For instance, a fellow traveling by railroad speaks with another traveler and discovers that The Other has been communicating with Spirits, one of whom is John Milton. The Ghost of John Milton repudiates authorship of Paradise Lost, and ascribes it to Grungers and Scadgingtone.
In a side note, I Googled Grungers and Scadingtone, and there were only 3 results. (All of them to this story.) I think that's a world record for fewest Google results. In fact, just to check on my theory I typed some random letters into Google--"hfdio"--and got 5,960 results.
I rest my case.
Might not be finishing this story today, though, as I am off to see Black Panther 2: Wakanda Forever.
Day 6 (DDRD 1,839) November 13, 2022
Read to page 320. And had two extra pages for "Chapter 8" of "The Haunted House." Speaking of which, this was a terrible story. Perhaps because of the bowdlerized presentation in this Volume (as previously noted), but probably not. Because the first chapter was at least competent. But that 8th Chapter...my goodness. It was about a guy who shaved, and while looking in the mirror saw other faces, then ended up a story in a seraglio before returning to The Shaving. Just a mess in terms of story-telling. As that was the second of the Dickens chapters for "The Haunted House," I then read the two (-ish) pages of the missing 8th Chapter...
...which, while pretty pedestrian, at least had the virtues of being straightforward and brief.
And then on to yet another Sea Story "A Message From the Sea" (1860)...the third such by my count. Didn't get too far into that, and don't feel inclined to read any more of it today. Not that it was bad, just that my Dickens stomach is full right now, and I do have other books I want to read.
I will note that I've now only 2 1/2 more stories to read in this volume, and that I'm about five days ahead of my "schedule" (due mostly to my Side Reading of this book while I was finishing up Pictures From Italy).
Day 7 (DDRD 1,840) November 14, 2022
Read to page 353,
And more puzzlement. Because in "A Message From the Sea," after Chapter I comes Chapter...V. And this time without even a summary. So I went traipsing on the internet path, and eventually (it took a bit of searching) found this:
"A Message From the Sea" (1860)
Chapter I "The Village" by Charles Dickens
Chapter II "The Money" by Charles Dickens
Chapter III “The Club Night” by Wilkie Collins
Chapter IV “The Seafaring Man” by Willie Collins
Chapter V by "The Restitution" Charles Dickens
Someone who goes by the name Bionic Jean on GoodReads, had this to say, though: "...the 1868 contents page attributes all chapter 1 to Charles Dickens, chapter 2 to Charles Dickens and Wilkie Collins, chapter 3 to Charles Dickens, Charles Collins, Harriet Parr, H. F. Chorley and Amelia B. Edwards, chapter 4 to Wilkie Collins and chapter 5 to Charles Dickens and Wilkie Collins."
So if that's correct, The Complete Dickens should include Chapter 3 as well as 1, 2, and and 5.
So there's another one. And then I started reading
"Tom Tiddler's Ground" (1861) Pages 347 to 377
And guess what? Chapters I, VI, and VII are included here. And The Internet? Well, she says, several things.
Wikisource tells me that "Tom Tiddler's Ground" was written by Charles Dickens, Charles Allston Collins, Amelia Ann Blandford Edwards, Wilkie Collins, and John Harwood, but doesn't give any specifics beyond "three chapters written by Dickens." Which at least (1) confirms the information in THE CENTENNIAL DICKENS and (2) indicates that there's no Missing Dickens this time around.
According to Annelies on GoodReads (I never thought that GoodReads would be one of my primary sources for information), the breakdown goes like this:
"Picking up Soot and Cinders" (Charles Dickens)"Picking up Evening Shadows" (Charles Collins, brother of Wilkie)
"Picking up Terrible Company" (Amelia B. Edwards)
"Picking up Waifs at Sea" (Wilkie Collins)
"Picking up a Pocket Book" (John Berwick Harwood)
"Picking up Miss Kimmeens" (Charles Dickens)
"Picking up the Tinker" (Charles Dickens)
So at least there's that...assuming we can trust these GoodReads folks.
Still, with respect to Heron Books, what a shitty way of telling a story...by cutting out huge chunks of it without so much on as a summary to let you pull the pieces together a bit.
I'm also thinking that THE COMPLETE DICKENS needs a Supplemental Volume...and I just might have to get 'round to that at some point.
Oh, and speaking of the current story in process...
"Tom Tiddler's Ground" (1861) Pages 347 to 377...
It's impossible for me not to think of Roy Harper with this title. Ah...it was so long ago when I bought a copy of Harper 1970-1975. I remember buying it, too. I was in a record store in Oxmoor Mall...back when we still had record stores...and I found this
in the Budget Bin (as you can see from the mutilated lower right hand corner). I remember being disappointed that it was a compilation album, but buying it anyway because there were songs that I didn't yet have (in those pre-internet days my Roy Harper collection was not yet complete, despite concerted efforts; for one thing, it was very rare to find a Roy Harper album in a Record Store, so I had to seek some of them out via disreputable looking catalogs and creaky ordering systems). And track three on the first side was "Tom Tiddler's Ground." I had no idea who Tom Tiddler was, but it was a very nice li'l song, with some varry noice recorder courtesy of none other than Tony Visconti (one of my musical heroes).
Day 8 (DDRD 1,841) November 15, 2022
Read to page 380. Which was to the end of "Tom Tiddler's Ground" (1861)--pages 347 to 377.
"Picking up Soot and Cinders" (Chapter I)
In this chapter, an unnamed traveller seeks out and confronts a hermit, then gives him shit for being a dirty hermit for half a dozen pages. Not exactly compelling reading...and since this edition skips the next four non-Dickens chapters, I'm guessing that Chapter VI might be less than enthralling as well. But we'll see how it goes.
Still, I have to question the wisdom of presenting The Complete Dickens in this way. At the very least, a competent editor could have given summaries of the matter not printed here. And (though it doesn't seem to be the case here) if the material was co-written by Dickens, I'd argue that it most certainly should have been included. What the help does Complete mean otherwise?
"Picking up Miss Kimmeens" (Chapter VI)
Well, it looks like I was mistaken: this chapter begins with the Traveller still sitting outside the Hermit's cell...where he has presumably been for all of the intervening chapters... though he is now referring to the Hermit as "friend," and seems to be sincere. So no summary of II through V was needed after all.
Chapter VI begins with a little girl coming up to greet the Traveller and then gaze upon the Hermit...so I can only assume that the four missing chapters consisted of different people coming to meet Said Hermit. Which seems kind of silly. Even more puzzling, however, is that this chapter almost immediately veers off into the story of one of the little girl's teachers...and though I'll have to confirm it later, it seems to stay that way until the end of the chapter.
And? Well, the story does come back to the little girl, and the point of it is this: she was left alone when her teacher went off to a wedding, and she had a miserable time bin her hours if solitude. Then in the last paragraph of the chapter we come back to rogue Traveller and Hermit, and find that the little girl's story us meant to convince him not to be a hermit Ang longer.
Sigh.
Sorry to say, Mr. Dickens--since my love for you is great--that this is a shoddy way to tell a story. If it even qualifies as a story, which I doubt.
"Picking up the Tinker" (Chapter VII)
And the grand finale? The Traveller talks to the Tinker he met before encountering the Hermit in Chapter 1, then they decide to walk the little girl (from Chapter VI) home before going on to have dinner together elsewhere. And the Hermit? Dunno. I guess they don't give a thinkers damn about him at this point. Ba dump dump.
All in all, it's another bullshit night in suck city. Only one more story to go, though, which helps.
But Lordy, it's a long one.
Day 9 (DDRD 1,842) November 16, 2022
Today is my DDR Project's 5th Anniversary! 5 years stuck on my eyes! 5 years...what a surprise!
Read to page 410. Which was not enough to get me through "Somebody's Luggage" (1862) Pages 381 to 440 (obviously)...the last story in this collection.
Speaking of...
Almost immediately this story seemed false and forced. Dickens goes on and on about being a waiter, yet nothing he says indicates that he has real knowledge of the profession. On the other hand, he comes up with a fine name for a coffee-house (as he would have it), the Slamjam. Also a good name for a band. While pulling myself through these first few pages I also started thinking about writing Waiting On Godot, a play about meal service that never comes to fruition. Act I: Taking the Order. Act II: Preparing the meal. Act III: Serving Godot. It practically writes itself, I think. But I'm sorry to say that other than THIS (blog), I don't write anymore. I occasionally think about it, and I often miss it, but the truth is I am running out of time, and I think I have run out of hope with respect to being read by anyone who isn't reading these words (or those in the near vicinity).
ANYway....
Chapter I ("HIS LEAVING IT TILL CALLED FOR" is a tedious (16 page) bit which leads up to the finding of manuscripts which have been found amongst the abandoned luggage of an unidentified and now absent traveller. Chapter II is entitled "HIS BOOTS." so my guess is that each subsequent chapter will focus on a different hiding place for various other manuscripts. It's a somewhat clever set-up for a collection if stories, I suppose, but I find myself feeling a bit peremptorily weary. Perhaps I'll be proven wrong.
Perhaps not.
Chapter II: "HIS BOOTS." Well first off...what's up with that period? Second off, I really have no idea what this story is about. Not a good sign when you're halfway through a story. There are some soldiers in a little town who are so bored they're doing menial chores and services for the townsfolk. One of the soldiers is taking care of a little girl. That's about it with eight pages to go.
The good news is that tomorrow is IT. Here's hoping that Christmas Stories Volume II has a little bit more pizzazz.
Day 10 (DDRD 1,843) November 17, 2022
Read to page 440--The End.
And first off, I must point out that I finished this book a full 5.2 days before my "Reading Goal"--thanks to the side reading I did before starting the official DDR accounting. As for the final two stories, Chapter III: "HIS BROWN-PAPER PARCEL" & Chapter IV: "HIS WONDERFUL END"...there's not much to say. Except this: after the final chapter (IV), there was a footnote which said, "Mr. Dickens partly contributed to another of the chapters, entitled 'His Umbrella'...." So I suppose there's another bit to gather if you REALly want THE COMPLETE DICKENS.
Speaking of which, here's the current list of Pieces Not Included in THE COMPLETE DICKENS:
1. "The Ghost in the Corner Room" chapter of ""The Haunted House" can be found at https://vsfp.byu.edu/index.php/title/the-haunted-house-the-ghost-in-the-corner-room/
2. "The Club-Night" chapter of "A Message From the Sea" can be found at https://www.google.com/books/edition/A_Message_from_the_Sea/DRBQAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA23&printsec=frontcover
3. "His Umbrella" chapter of "Somebody's Luggage" can be found at https://www.google.com/books/edition/Somebody_s_Luggage/j9YqdS2KqigC?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA5&printsec=frontcover
I'm sorry to say that there is no doubt in my mind that there will be additions to the list in the near future.
Fuckin' Heron Books.
Okay. Onward to Christmas Stories Volume II, I suppose.
(1) Leviathan 63 days, 729 pages
(2) Stalingrad 27 days, 982 pages
(3) Life and Fate 26 days, 880 pages
(4) The Second World War 34 + 32 + 40 + 43 + 31 + 32 days = 212 days, 4,379 pages
(5) Baron Wenckheim's Homecoming 10 days, 572 pages
(6) The Great Bridge 25 days, 636 pages
(8) Blake: Prophet Against Empire, 23 days, 523 pages
(9) Jerusalem 61 days, 1,266 pages
(10) Voice of the Fire 9 days, 320 pages
(11) The Fountainhead 15 days, 720 pages
(12) The Pacific Trilogy: Pacific Crucible 23 days, 640 pages
(30) Martin Chuzzlewit 32 days, 1,045 pages
(31) American Notes 10 days, 324 pages
(32) Pictures From Italy 7 days
(33) Christmas Stories Volume I 10 days, 456 pages
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