So there's this new movie coming out called The Inner View which could be interesting. It's about these two Muslim talk show hosts who get an invitation to interview President Obama, and before they leave for America they're contacted by jihadists who tell them this is the perfect opportunity to strike at The Great Satan by assassinating the POTUS. I'm not going to spoil the surprises by telling you what happens, but I will say that (1) "Obama" has a nice, tight little ass and (2) there's a bullet with the letters "B," "H," and "O" on it.
It's just a silly movie, full of laughs and hijinks, so I'm sure no one will be upset about it . . . right?
Monday, December 29, 2014
Saturday, December 27, 2014
thE moviE I saW 2015(ish)
***** = Must be seen before you die.
**** = Really good.
*** = Worth seeing, but you won't die for lack of it.
** = A waste of time, but one or two good moments.
* = You'll lose two IQ points watching this one.
-0 = This will make you want to kill yourself, but only after you have mounted a water tower with a rifle and taken out as many innocent bystanders as time allows. This rating was invented after viewing Rules of Attraction (-0, Less Than Zero, you know?)
Well, I started a little early. 12/24/2014.
1. The Sand Pebbles ***** Amazing movie about American imperialism in China post Word War I. Impressive, nuanced performance by Steve McQueen . . . and also features a 20 year-old Candice Bergen.
2. 3:10 to Yuma**** This was the 1957 version with Glenn Ford. I watched the 2007 version (twice) last week, and enjoyed it mightily . . . and wanted to see how much Russell Crowe had brought to the table. The answer was quite a bit, but Glenn Ford had set it up for him. In fact, Ford was pretty wonderful, and despite the occasional old-movie idiocies (bad death scenes, for one), this was a very good, compelling movie. It made me want to see more Glenn Ford movies. More news on that as it happens.
3. X-Men: Days of Future Past*** Our Christmas movie. (Joe's choice.) 3rd time I've seen it, and I've enjoyed it more each time . . . mostly because I've been able to let go of the bothersome stupidities inherent in time travel movies. Also, Jennifer Lawrence is muy caliente.
4. Dazed and Confused (1993)*** This is really more of a ** movie, but there are two things that make it worth watching: (1) seeing how dorky several people who later became famous looked in 1993 and (2) the soundtrack. As to the first, there's Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey, Milla Jovovich, Renée Zellweger, and Parker Posey . . . none of whom are in starring roles, and none of whom are within a hundred degrees of hot. As to the second, there's "Sweet Emotion, Highway Star, School's Out, Jim Dandy, Why Can't We Be Friends, Stranglehold, No More Mr Nice Guy, Do You Feel Like We Do, Low Rider, Hurricane, I Just Want To Make Love To You, Love Hurts, Paranoid, There's Never Been Any Reason, Tush, Fox On The Run, Slow Ride, Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo, Show Me The Way, Lord Have Mercy On My Soul, Balinese, Rock and Roll All Nite, Right Place, Wrong Time, Livin' In The USA, Hey Baby, Cherry Bomb, Summer Breeze, Tuesday's Gone, and Free Ride. Not bad for a stupid movie about getting drunk, stoned, and laid, and raising hell.
5. Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (2015)** Joe's choice--although Jacqueline tagged along, which (1) is nice and (2) doesn't happen all that often these days. Both of them seemed to like it, though I did notice that Jacqueline never laughed out loud, so there's that. Joe had seen the first two installments in the series, but this was the first full-on for Jacqueline and me. It was interesting to see Robin Williams in his last film role, as well as Mickey Rooney and Dick Van Dyke, both of whom I thought had died years ago. (21st Century: Looks like this was the next to the last movie for Mickey, who died April 6, 2014, but Dick Van Dyke is 90 and still going--two movies in post-production even as we speak. Yowza. Oh, and it looks like Robin Williams has one more movie still in the tube, so this was not his last movie after all. Thank you, Google.) Oh, yeah, it was also nice to see Hugh Jackman, who had a cute little bit in the movie, and it was very very nice to see Alice Eve, who is a cute little bit. Oh, yeah, it was also disappointing to see Ricky Gervais and Ben Kingsley in their stupid roles, but it's pretty much always disappointing to see either of them, isn't it? I mean, seriously.
6. Unbroken (2014)**** . . . maybe ***** Another Joe choice . . . though I was pretty interested myself once I found out that Joel and Ethan Coen were involved in writing the screenplay. And I've gots to say . . . this movie was pretty awesome. I did not even feel like looking at my watch once. It was really unpleasant to watch at times . . . it was a real The The Passion of The Louis Zamperini The thing . . . but it was also touching and inspiring and mesmerizing. I was most impressed by Angelina Jolie's directing here. I've never been much of an AJ fan, I have to admit . . . but behind the camera she is just amazing. There were several cuts which were just so perfect that I was stunned. Mostly in terms of her knowing what to leave out, when a scene didn't have to continue. This movie also had an awesome opening scene . . . . Yep, she's good. Going to see if I can find the other movies she's directed . . . A Place in Time a documentary from 2007 and In the Land of Blood and Honey from 2011.
7. Manuscripts Don't Burn (2013)**** . . . but not for the faint of heart. Amazing (and true) story of the Iranian government's attempt to kill intellectuals and activists during the 90s.
8. Mozart in the Jungle Season One (2014)*** Not great, but some great moments . . . and some great characters. I really liked Rodrigo. Except when he was with his wife. That was stupid. But his wife was hot.
9. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)**** My third time for this one, and I still really like it. Plus Scarlett Johansson is really hot.
10. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)**** Some really good laughs in this one, many of which involve Bradley Cooper as Rocket Raccoon. Chris Pratt is really good, too . . . especially when he's dancing. Alas, there are no hot girls in this movie, which is just a damned shame.
11. Banshee: Season One*** There are a lot of what the fuck moments in this show . . . where credulity is attenuated and even completely ripped into pieces. And there is way too much blood. But I really love the characters in this show. I may have to get Season 2. But I'm going to try to resist.
12. Elvis on Tour (1972)* There's not much to like in this documentary. The directors make way too much use of a split screen--two and sometimes three sections--for no apparent reason. And Elvis,'s singing is not his best. At times he's off key, at times he seems out of gas, and at times he is just show boating so much that it's hard not to dislike him. If you like Elvis, skip this one.
13. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)**** Well, what can I say? Still going strong on the 4th viewing.
14. The Silence (2010)*** I only looked in on this movie to see Ulrich Thomsen in a role other than Amish Mafia (Banshee). The irony being that I completely forgot to watch him because the movie itself was so horrifying. It's about the rape and murder of an eleven year old girl, and the subsequent murder of another young girl. Subject matter that would usually send me to the exit door as soon as it became evident that that's what was going on. But I watched it, and the story was well-told. I just don't know if it's a story that needed to be told. Still thinking about this.
15. Snowpiercer (2013)* I don't understand how Chris Evans, Tilda Swinton, Ed Harris, and John Hurt could have allowed themselves to be in this movie. I mean, seriously. The premise is absolutely idiotic, the plot is wafer thin, the special effects are laughable . . . I would have flushed this piece of shit down the toilet after five minutes if I'd been watching it by and for myself, but Joe glommed onto it . . . and it had Captain America (with a beard) in it . . . and lots of fights . . . so he was in for a pound. But it's not too late for you, so take my tip. If that's not enough to scare you off, try this bit of Chris Evans monologue: "You know what I hate about myself? I know what people taste like. I know that babies taste best." Yes he did. Sheesh. I'd starve before I said those words. Irony intended.
16. Selma (2014)***** I have so many thoughts about this movie that I am just going to write them separately, but suffice it to see that this was a really important movie and that it was very well done.
17. Tropic Thunder (2008)-0 An astonishingly bad movie. It's depressing to see people like Tom Cruise, Matthew McConaughey, Nick Moore, and Robert Downey, Jr., in a piece of shit like this. I don't understand how anybody could think this was funny. And how is it possible that Etan Cohen had anything to do with writing this?
18. WUSA (1970)**** Didn't know about this movie until a few hours before I found it on the You Tub and watched it. I was reading up on Robert Stone and found that he had written the script for this movie based on his first novel (of the same name). And it stars Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, and Anthony Perkins. Not a bad way to break into the movie business. Strange and disturbing movie, but it's pretty close to a must have item. Case in point: "I have always thought that without God we keep finding the insect in each other. We tear like insects." That's some heavy ass shit, man.
19. The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)* Wow, they actually made this movie. And four semi-famous people (Eve Torres, Lou Ferrigno, Rutger Hauer and Barry Bostwick) were in it. I tried to find out what the budget was for this thing, but was unable to do so. That's probably for the best, though . . . it would only have depressed the shit out of me, I'm sure.
20. Cast Away (2000)***** Joe wanted to see this. I don't know why. It might have just appeared on Netflix. He told me he had seen it before . . . when it came out, he says. Which would mean he was five years old, but it's quite possible he remembers back that far. It was hard for me to watch. Very emotional. This was my first divorce movie. In fact, I printed out a little sign that said, "Keep breathing and see what the tide brings in." and hung it above my bathroom doorway. When Kelly (Helen Hunt) says, "You're my true love!" to Chuck (Tom Hanks), I cloudbursted. Jesus. But it's a great movie, for sure. It really is about what it's about--and not many things are.
21. The Odd Couple (1968)**** Got to admit that I kept hoping Jack Klugman would show up, but this movie was quite the hoot. And I'm sorry to admit that before this viewing I didn't realize that Neil Simon wrote this.
22. Frank (2014)***** Yes, five. It was the last scene--singing and crying--that put it there for me. Until then it was quirky and interesting and profound without being pretentious, but that last scene put it into my lap and made me suckle it. Oh, wait a minute, was that an inside thought? P.S. I love you all. http://youtu.be/zOt6ppIBOd4
23. Blue Ruin (2013)-0 And I just saw some review show where they praised this movie. Jesus. Bloody, nasty, and pointless.
24. Going the Distance (2010)*** It was sweet. Sometimes you need sweet. Sometimes you need to believe that there is a chance that things will work out. That love can survive in this fucked up world.
25. This is Where I Leave You (2014)*** Y'know, I really liked this movie. It was funny, it was touching, it had some excellent acting--especially from Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Adam Driver, and my two favorites, Timothy Olyphant and Rose Byrne. I want to call it a four asterisk movie . . . but it has a couple (or so) movie movie moments that keep it from being that for me. Most of those moments involve violence. They feel more like "crazy boffo laughs" than real moments, though, and that lets some air out of the tires.
26. Chef (2014)**** A bit disappointing at the end with its completely unbelievable "feel good" resolution, but at its best parts--driving the truck to L.A.-- it was really good, really touching and joyful. It was also cool to see Dustin Hoffman, Scarlett Johansson, and Robert Downey in small roles.
27. Seventh Son (2015)* You know, sometimes when a movie starts I'll think, Hey, this is pretty good. I wonder why it got such terrible reviews. And then I find out. Like this one. Jaysus.
28. Downtown Abbey Season One (2011)**** Tried this show awhile back, but was put off by it. Looked like a story about rich people doing rich people things, and that's not something I care about at all. But I saw an advert for a Downton Abbey Tea Party at the Middleton Library, and I'm trying to do some out of my comfort zone social things, so I thought I'd give it another shot. And I'm glad that I did. This is an excellent show, very moving, very character driven, and not just about rich people . . . and when it is, they're not always doing rich people things.
29. Downtown Abbey Season Two (2012)**** More good.
30. Downtown Abbey Season Three (2013)**** And more more good.
31. Banshee Season Two (2014)**** What a ridiculous fucking show. I need to get hold of Season 3. I'm Jonesing, man.
32. Princess Mononoke [Mononoke-hime ] (1997)***** it's been a long long time since I saw this movie. In fact, I saw it in the theater, so it may well have been 18 years since I've seen it. But there was a VHS copy at Goodwill for 50 cents, and I still speak VHS, so . . . . Well, it's Miyazaki, so I guess I don't have to tell you it's a must see item. In fact, in the first fifteen minutes it made me exclaim, "OH!" four times. All this and Billy Bob Thornton, too? Sign me up.
33. Far North (1988)** Sam Shepard (writing and directing), Jessica Lange, Charles Durning, and Patricia Arquette. What could possibly go wrong? Well . . . just about everything.
34. Heaven is For Real (2014)*** On the one hand . . . the whole idea of a kid having a near death experience and visiting heaven then coming back to talk about it seems like bullshit. One the other hand . . . this was a pretty moving story, and I will have to confess that I do not know everything about the universe. So this movie came me some things to think about, and that's worth doing, I'd say. It's sure as hell more than True North gave me--unless you count, "Why the hell was this movie made?" as something to think about.
35. Jupiter Ascending (2015)** On the other hand, Joe loved it. Some of the visuals were pretty awesome, but they forgot to tell a story that made sense. Ooopsie. I spent most of my time wondering why Mila Kunis's left eye looked droopy. Googled it when I got home, but didn't find anything. Maybe it was my imagination.
36. King Lear (2015)***** Wow. Magnificent job. $20 is a lot to spend on a movie, but I have to say that this was totally worth it. Makes me think that I may have to come back to Baxter Avenue for the other four filmed Shake-speare plays.
37. 99%: The Occupy Wall Street Collaborative Film (2013)***** Not a great documentary, but one that I think has to be seen . . . unless you just don't give a shit about anything.
38. Midnight Cowboy (1969)**** I guess it's amazing that I haven't seen this movie before now. It was worth the wait, though. Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight are both great, and the director did some really interesting things with flashbacks. The ending is really effective, too, even though you kind of see it coming from a mile away.
39. Starship Troopers (1997)* The funny thing is that the director, Paul Verhoeven said (of the novel the movie is "based on"), "I stopped after two chapters because it was so boring . . . . It is really quite a bad book. I asked Ed Neumeier to tell me the story because I just couldn't read the thing. It's a very right-wing book." Well, I've only read a little bit of the book at this point, but I can tell you that any page that I read was worth more than the whole of this crappy movie. And Verhoeven commenting that it's "a right wing book" . . . maybe it is, that remains for me to see, but what the hell does he think this movie is? If (as some have suggested) it's supposed to have satiric elements, then I can tell you that it completely fails at this. And you know what satire that doesn't work is.
40. Divergent (2014)** Kind of exciting at times, though some serious bullshit was used to resolve plot difficulties near the end. Not really the Hunger Games rip-off I imagined it to be. In fact, it was really more of a rip-off of Harry Potter, what with the high-tech sorting hat and the warring factions. Glad I didn't pay for it, but not really sorry I saw it.
41. The Walking Dead: Season 1 (2010)***** Yeah, really . . . 5 stars. This is a show about what it means to be human and why you should fight to live. Watching it again was quite an experience.
42. Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)*** I've been reading David Gerrold's The World of Star Trek and Leonard Nimoy died and Joe was talking about that and then I saw that this was on Netflix and Joe was down for it, so we watched it together. It is so slow moving that it's baffling, and the plot is thinner than a dime, but still, it's Kirk and Spock, ya know? Think I'm going to make a run through the whole movie series--hopefully with Joe.
43. Tarzan (1999)** Y'know.
44. The Walking Dead: Season Two (2011)***** Mo bettah.
45. The Walking Dead: Season Three (2012)*****
46. Saints and Soldiers: The Void (2014)* Sorry to say, since I really liked the first two Saints and Soldiers movies, but this one was just empty. No pun intended.
47. Chappie (2015)* This was baddie. Nothing in this movie made any sense at all. It looked good, though.
48. Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)***** At Baxter Avenue . . . with Ted Neeley and Kurt Yaghjian in the theater for a chat before the screening. Pretty fuckin' cool, eh?
49. Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion (2009)-0 It's absolutely amazing how bad this movie was. How could this thing have been made? Somebody actually put up $2,000,000 for this thing . . . and got Adam West, June Lockhart, and Michael Rooker (Merle Dixon on The Walking Dead) to be in it. I guess the good news is that it only made $30,955 (not a typo), but when I think about people I know who have been struggling to get movies made for decades and then see something like this . . . which is now showing on HBO . . . it's just stunningly sad.
50. The Phantom (1996)** At least it helped me to forget Super Capers.
51. Fast and Furious 6 (2013)*** A ridiculous movie, but you knew that going in, right? Still, there's a certain charm . . . and even a bit of warmth in terms of the relationship between the main characters. Besides, it was on HBO and I had nothing better to do, and I had to get ready for
52. Furious 7 (2015)** Totally ridiculous movie, but I have to admit that I never once felt like looking at my watch. And as you might have guessed, Joe loved it.
53. Into the Storm (2014)* Second in the series of Really Shitty Movies That Feature Walking Dead Stars . . . this one with Sarah Wayne Callies (Lori). And that's all.
54. Teacher's Pet (1958)**** Yep. And I don't even like Clark Gable. But this movie had some brains and some heart. And it was actually about something--as opposed to just a bunch of shit happening (like the last five movies I've seen). It was also interesting to see Charlie's grandpa (Jack Albertson) when he was younger . . . but still had that same great voice.
55. Better Call Saul: Season One (2015)****
56. The Life of David Gale (2003)**** Funny, I saw this movie some time ago . . . probably when it first came out . . . and didn't like it. Can't remember why, but my guess would be because of the sickening portrayal of a naked woman committing suicide. Possibly also because it starred Kevin Spacey, and I have no love for him. But for some reason I started watching it when I caught it on television, and stayed with it until the end, and then found when it was showing again and set the dvr so I could watch the first half-hour that I'd missed. Just finished watching that. And I have to say this is an effective movie. There are a few of the usual kinds of movie stupidities . . . like a university having a faculty / student mixer where liquor is consumed and dirty poems recited . . . but the main story is powerful, and Spacey does a good job. As does Kate Winslet. It was also nice to see a 27 year old Rhona Mitra. Rrrrrrr.
57. Robert Wyatt Story (2001)***** Fuckin' amazing. Such as:
"As far as I'm concerned, I'm dreaming all the time. The only difference is that I come up for daylight and other people the way a whale has to come up for air."
and
"Even at my most depressed about the world, I've always thought, 'Well, there's jazz.'"
58. Daredevil (2015)**** This was the best 12 hour movie ever. I don't think I had any complaints at all until the final episode, and even the indulgences there didn't spoil the show for me. All of the actors did great jobs. And it was a special treat to see Scott Glenn's contribution. And at age 74 he still looks like he could kick your ass. I hope it's not too long before the next installment of Marvel / Netflix hits the little screen, cause these guys are good.
59. Vikings: Season 3 (2015)**** Another great season.
60. Regarding Susan Sontag (2014)**** No, wait, it's *****. Don't know anything about Sontag (other than what was here), but this was really good, important stuff. I'm going to miss HBO, man.
61. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)***** I don't even know how many times I've seen this movie now. Four or five? Watched with Pat this time, and she really enjoyed it, and it's always fun to watch somebody else like something that's important to you.
62. Backstrom: Season One (2015)**** Rainn Wilson as an autisticy-type detective with more vices than you can count in a minute. I really enjoyed this show.
63. Orphan Black: Series One (2013)**** Tatiana Maslany is amazing. And hot. Bring on Series Two.
64. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)** I had high hopes for this movie . . . and there were certainly some great bits--more than one or two, for sure--but this just wasn't a good movie. For one thing, there were just too many things that didn't make sense. For instance, just because a guy can run really fast doesn't mean that he can split robots in half with his bare hand. Ya know? And there were too many "this is a movie" movie scenes. Joe loved it, though, so it was still worth going to.
65. Leaving Las Vegas (1995)-0 Somebody told me that s/he loved this movie, and when I got home to my empty house last night it was on and had just started, so I watched it. I kept waiting for it to become good, poignant, and / or meaningful. But it never happened. What a waste of celluloid. What a complete reveling in despair and degeneracy.
66. Orphan Black: Series Two (2014)**** Did I mention that Tatiana Mislay is really hot? The show is pretty okay, too. I've become extremely fond of Helena . . . 'cause she's crazy.
Ooops. Forgot some stuff. The quick version:
67. Nicholas Nickleby (2002)***
68. The Crimson Petal and the White (2011)*****
69. The Hour: Series One (2011)****
70. The Hour: Series Two (2012)*****
The movie foursome started because I'd read Nicholas Nickleby and wanted to check out a movie version, and 20 year old Romola Garai, who played Kate Nickleby, knocked my eyes out, so I went looking for some more of her stuff. Turns out that she's actually an excellent actress and has been involved in some seriously good stuff. And . . . um . . . she's super hot, too.
71. POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (2011)***
72. Gotham: Season One (2014)*** Too goofy to be taken seriously, but not self-aware enough to be fun. The brightest spot was when Morena Baccarin came on board. I like her. I'd rather see her playing Inara Serra in some new Firefly episodes, but at least I get to look at her.
74. Aliens Vs. Predator (2004)****
75. Aliens Vs. Predator 2: Requiem-0
76. Shaft (1971)***** Yep. Not because it's a great movie--'cause it's not. What it is, though, is a movie where black people don't act like idiots, or, even worse, Uncle Toms. This movie is so far beyond where movies and tv are today in their portrayal of black folks that it makes my soul hurt. And besides all that, it has the grooviest opening / theme song of all time. "Shaft"? You're damn right.
77. The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)***** (1) Can it really be that this film is 27 years old? (2) How many times have I seen this movie now? (3) This is one of my favorite movies. Top 5 at least. One of my other top 5 movies is The Right Stuff (1983), which was also directed by Philip Kaufman. (4) Jo Ann and I saw The Right Stuff at the Village 8. Tickets were one dollar each. It was my first Village 8 movie. We saw The Unbearable Lightness of Being together, too. I remember going to see it again by myself. I think there were only a couple of other people in the theater for it. Isn't it strange how something that is so important to you can mean nothing to so many other people? (5) This time I watched the movie with the director's commentary on. It makes for an interesting viewing experience. I really enjoyed it--though I wouldn't have if I didn't already know the movie so well. It's always amazing to hear people involved with making the movie talk about what's on the screen. You get to see how much thought and effort was put into things--some of them things that you didn't even notice when you watched the film. (6) When this movie came out Jo Ann and I had only been married for five years. We had no children. I was either still working at Metro Fabrications as a wire harness assembler or a few doors down at Label Specialties as a label cutter. I think Jo Ann was still working in a nursing home.
78. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)***** Somebody on the commentary track of The Unbearable Lightness of Being made reference to The Passion of Joan of Arc, and told a super cool story about it. He (don't remember who it was, but it was a he) said that after Carl Theodor Dreyer had finished making this film the studio it was being kept in burned down, destroying the negative of the film. Dreyer then went back to the film he had that he had previously cut or left out of the film and put together this version of the film. Which is a pretty great story. I've read a couple of other versions which seem to refute that great story, though, so I can't say that that is the true version of the story. I guess it doesn't matter, though, because this is a pretty amazing film. For one thing, who'd of thunk that you could watch a two hour silent movie and not be bored? Some of the images in this film are just fucking amazing. In fact, you could release this film today and some of it would still be considered innovative. The last couple of minutes of it are just startling. I watched the whole damned thing on The You Tube. I think that's the same version I just watched. If it is, the "soundtrack" (provided by the uploader--apparently nobody knows what soundtrack Dreyer had or wanted or whatever) on this one was kind of interesting . . . a monstrous industrial dirge rather than music. Near the end I started thinking, The Velvet Underground really should have scored this movie. If I had world enough and time, I'd be tempted to put that together myself. Probably just using non-vocal stuff, but not even sure there. And maybe just a little splash of The Doors.
79. The Turin Horse (2011)****? Not really sure yet. Seems funny to say that I have to watch a two and a half hour Hungarian movie in which nothing happens again to decide if it was **, ***, ****, or *****, but that's the way it is. This was my first full on experience of Bela Tarr, and it is one fucked up movie. I'll be back.
80. The Flash: Season One (2014)**** Y'know, I think this is the best of the tv super-hero shows, and I think the two key factors are (1) Grant Gustin, who is (sorry for the gayness) adorable, earnest, and affective, and (2) the basic optimism embodied in the show. Yes, it still has really goofy shit going on, and the special effects are sometimes less than stellar, but that's not really very important. The show's got heart, and it's not cynical about human nature. (Though I do have to admit that on the hot women scale, Agents of Shield is mos def tops.)
81. Closely Watched Trains (1966)*** This was a very strange little movie. At first it seemed like a light-hearted romp about a guy who had woman troubles--almost Chaplinesque, though more naturalistic than that. Then out of nowhere comes a pretty grisly suicide scene which would have shocked me even if I'd seen it coming, but given the abrupt U-turn it was really unpleasant. And then it was back to the light-hearted romp mood. Had a really funny scene where Hubicka (Josef Somr) asks an older woman if she will help him with his premature ejaculation problem, and as he's talking she's doing something to a creature that looks like a headless but long-necked swan . . . so yes, it looks like she's stroking a gigantic penis as they talk.
And then near the end there's another wild turn and a little terrorist action which results in destruction and death. A true what the fuck experience.
82. Casablanca (1942)***** According to IMDb, this is the 5th greatest movie of all time--behind The Godfather, The Shawshank Redemption, Schindler's List, and Raging Bull 1 --and there's a certain stodginess which would seem to go along with that kind of rep. But that disappears once you start watching the movie. It just works. There's so much wit in the dialogue, Bogart is such a fuckin' MAN, and Ingrid Bergman is so amazingly beautiful . . . it's just amazing. Funny, I probably wouldn't have named this as one of my personal top movies, and I wasn't even particularly looking forward to watching it, but having just watched it, I think it has to have a berth in my own top ten.
1 Of which I've seen all but Schindler's List--tried several times but just couldn't take it--and they are good movies, of course. In fact, Raging Bull is mos def one of my all-time favorites. But greatest movies of all time? Really? I don't know how that's possible. The American Film Institute list seems much more realistic to me
--though I'm thinking that The Graduate probably should slip off that list to make room for It's a Wonderful Life. And, as you can see, the AFI list puts Casablanca at number 2. (It doesn't even appear on the Rotten Tomatoes list (which does include Mad Max: Fury Road at number 10, however, which may be all that you need to know about Rotten Tomatoes's perspective).
83. The Kingdom (2007)*** A surprise. I really thought this would be a piece-o-shit, but Joe saw it and when he saw that it was centered around the war in Iraq he asked me to buy it for him--he's pretty fascinated by the whole War on Terror thing. So I sat down to watch it with him, and it was a good story, really. Some of the violence was a bit on the extreme side, but the action was quite absorbing, and all of the lead actors did great jobs. Jennifer Garner was especially noteworthy as she played a badass with a heart so convincingly. Plus she's purty.
84. Marketa Lazarova (1967)*** . . . I think. A very strange movie. The look--stark black and white shots of a snow-covered landscape--is quite striking. And in the beginning (and at intervals throughout) the sound of voices chanting and a narrator is effective--though undercut by the subtitles, which are colloquial to the point of stupidity. (But maybe that's the translator's fault.) During an early fight scene, though, the choreography is quite bad, and the editing is abominable--actually leaving out the most important frames (e.g. when a blow lands). So I was a little surprised to find that this was "voted the all-time best Czech movie in a prestigious 1998 poll of Czech film critics and publicists" (which comes via Wikipedia, natch). There are some great bits, such as the line, "a human heart is full of sorrow." Such as the part where the narrator talks to the character and he responds, and a little conversation ensues. Such as the beautiful 19 year-old Magda Vásáryová.
85. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)** Of course, it depends what you're looking for. If you're looking for plot, character development, good dialogue, logic, or nudity, look somewhere else. Maybe a nice Hungarian film. If you're looking for rip-roaring action (as long as the War Wagon is in motion) which will keep your major muscle groups tensed and lots of explosions and the occasional "Oh no!" / "Oh my God!" moment, then you have come to the right place. And even with that Queer 1 haircut, an incomplete left arm, and a dire need for a bath, Charlize Theron is still hot.
98. Jurassic World (2015)* Seriously.
99. Russian Ark (2002)***** Yep. Take that, Spielberg.
100. The Chocolate War (1988)** Two Peter Gabriel and one Kate Bush on the soundtrack, which gets it a second star. Otherwise, pretty much sucked ass.
101. Tarr Béla: I Used to Be A Filmmaker (2014)***** That's what I'm talking about.
102. Louie: Season 4 (2014)*** Been a long time since I watched Louie. Just got tired of masturbation and dick jokes. But Number One Son is a fan, so I gave it a shot. There were still too many masturbation and dick jokes, but there was some good stuff, too. Some creative direction, such as extensive footage covering Louie's past. Some rather astounding guest stars, like Jerry Seinfeld, Jeremy Renner, Chris Rock, David Lynch. At least kind of interesting.
103. Tracers (2015)** Actually, the chase scenes (at least 50% of the movie) were quite good, very exciting, allathat. The story itself wasn't terrible . . . until the end, when everything snapped together like a cheap plastic lock, of course. Still, it was kind of fun to watch with Little Mr. Joe.
104. Nightcrawler (2014)**** or ***. Pretty intense shit. And Jake Gyllenhaal, who I hadn't known much (if anything) about previously, was most impressive. So much so that (along with the top notch trailer) I'm looking forward to seeing his next film, Southpaw. Only one thing bothered me about Nightcrawler: if Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal) was in such a hurry to get to these crime scenes, why did he not once use his powers? Hell, he wouldn't have even needed that shitty, double-crossing partner if he'd teleported. Maybe they're holding that ace up their sleeves for the sequel?
105. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011)**** Holds up pretty well--though I did start making a list of peevs which may or may not be Sir Not Appearing in this Film. Listened to the commentary track after watching the whole film, which was quite interesting. And had some good stories. Like they decided to film a scene in a real coffee shop and use a real barista. The barista agreed, did the part, revealed that she was the daughter of the actor who played Mikael in the Swedish version. Do do do do, do do do do.
106. The Commitments (1991)***** Don't know how many times I've seen this movie, but it's always a good watch. I was either laughing or smiling or nodding my head to the music (and smiling) the whole time. Also, this was the first movie I watched with R., so it's special.
107. Delicatessen (1991)**** and maybe another *. Fantastic movie. Very odd, which often works for me. But rooted in the real, too. Second R. movie, btw.
108. Il Postino (1994)***** Watched the movie with dvd commentary, learned a lot of stuff that was painful, so don't do that if you don't want that. Then watched the movie. So sweet. So lovely. And then that killer ending. I cried. This is probably one of those movies you should go out of your way to re-watch every year or so. Reminds you of why life can sometimes be worth living.
109 and 110. Solaris (1972)*** and Solaris (2002)*** Just found out that I'd forgotten to put the original movie on my list, so just added it in here. Wrote about it HERE, so I won't go back over that ground, but I will say that as funny as Stanislaw Lem's line about the 2002 version was, he got it wrong. The 2002 is a good movie. In many ways a better movie than the 1972 version--and not just in terms of the technical aspects. It's a haunting story. Also two mighty lines:
120. Mother and Son (1997)***** So I watched it again. It was even better.
121. Under the Skin (2013)* The most interesting thing about this movie--and the only reason it gets one * rather than -0 from moi--is that it's the first time Scarlett Johansson gets naked on film. That said, however, I've got to add that she actually looked a lot better when she was not completely naked--like the towel scene in A Love Song for Bobby Long. Or even that lovely little Green Bay Packers sweater picture. So it goes. But the movie itself . . . . Well. It's based on a Michel Faber novel, which is the other reason I wanted to see it. I have great love for Mr. Faber, and plan on / am in the process of reading all of his books. (He writes some big books, though, so this will take awhile.) And I'm still going to read the novel Under the Skin, because I just cannot believe that it is as vapid as this movie. (Here's the plot: a hot alien chick seduces guys who sink into black goop. Then we find out that UNDER THE SKIN she is black goop. Oh, sorry. Retrograde Spoiler Alert. But trust me, if I've spoiled the movie for you, I've saved you from wasting two hours of your life. Just Google Image Search "Scarlett Johansson Under the Skin Naked" and you'll get everything you want or need. ) I think it's pretty hilarious that Scarlett chose to debut her tits and ass in this movie. And then had the noive to say, how it was a necessary part of the story, it wasn't gratuitous, blah blah blah. I would have liked her so much more if she'd said, "Well, I'm hitting 30, you know, and these tits aren't going to stand up on their own forever." But no, she bared herself for the sake of ART. As if this shitty movie could be considered art. Jesus.
123. Stranger Than Paradise (1984)*** An early Jim Jarmusch film, and pretty decent stuff--though the story seemed fragmented. All of the actors were good, but the best part of the movie was 18 year old Eszter Balint . . . is pretty fucking cute. She's also the woman who played Louie's love interest in the season 4 six parter, "The Elevator." And she still looked pretty damn good--30 years later.
145. Divirgent (2014)**** and 146. Insurgent (2015)****
First off, a bit kudos to redbox for the super-fab coupon. Two movies for two bucks . . . now that is a deal. And one of 'em was on Blu-ray (only because the dvd version was out--I could give a shit about Blu-ray, man). Joe and I had a little Veronica Roth movie party. I'd seen Divergent previously and was pretty impressed, but liked it even more this time. Wasn't actually wanting to see it at all at first. Figured it was just a rip-off version of The Hunger Games, and I didn't like that all that much. Read the first book and thought it was okay, but pretty much tired old shit if you've read science fiction for a few years. Did see and like the movies, but (1) mostly because of Jennifer Lawrence and (2) haven't paid to see any of them . . . and will be watching the penultimate one tonight or tomorrow (free Epix weekend, bra). And I've been thinking about it a little bit, and I think I can now say why Divergent is better than The Hunger Games.
181. In the Heart of the Sea (2015)*** I really looked forward to seeing this movie, and I really wanted to like it. And there were parts of it that were very good, in that I-forgot-I-was-watching-a-movie way. And Chris Hemsworthshow is pretty. But I think the movie falls short mostly because of him. His wandering accent is just so fucking distracting that it constantly pulls you out of the story and makes your mantra, "Oh, yeah, he's Australian." It would've been better if he'd just stuck with his voice and let us adjust to it--like having Nazis speak English with German accents in World War II movies, y'know? Instead he constantly vacillates between something that is probably supposed to sound like a New England accent and the Australian thing. The special effects were really impressive. You'd think there were whales and starving men. And the movie did make me want to read some Melville again right quick, so there's that. And Brendan Gleeson was brilliant, of course, as the older Tom Nickerson. And I liked Ben Whishaw's portrayal of Herman Melville. (Is it just me, or is he the head of Anthony Perkis?
No? How about if we add a beard?
Well, anyway . . . I'm not sorry that I saw this movie, but maybe I wish I hadn't been so worked up for it. High expectations and all that, you know?
182. Point Break (1991)* Oh . . . this was bad in so many ways. The acting was truly horrific . . . like everybody was on speed or something.
183. Ricki and the Flash (2015)** One of the worst endings ever, but there actually were a few good moments along the way. I was surprised, as I really expected it to be terrible. One thing, though: I wonder what the point of this thing was. Maybe that's where the terrible ending comes in, as a good ending could have brought it all to a point. Instead, it's a movie about a sad loser who is more or less forgiven by her family for no good reason--she doesn't do nearly enough to deserve forgiveness for abandoning them. I almost got the feeling that it was a modern day moral which basically says if you make some half-assed effort it means all is forgiven . . . salvation à la mode and a cup of tea.
184. Fargo: Season 2 (2015)**** What an excellent show. Even better than the first season, which is saying something. And Ted Danson was wonderful.
185. A Night in Havana: Dizzy Gillespie in Cuba (1988)**** Hate to say it, because I love him dearly, but Dizzy was kind of irritating at times here. Mostly when he was singing, as (1) he really can't hold a tune and (2) he either makes up the worst lyrics ever or else he chooses songs with really bad lyrics. ("Swing low, sweet Cadillac," for gosh sakes. Really?) Lots of cool stuff here, too, though, both musically and historically. Dizzy hangs out with Fidel Castro. How cool is that? So worth putting up with the nits, I'd say.
186. The Soloist (2009)***** A stunning movie. Both Robert Downey, Jr. and Jamie Foxx were amazing. It's one of those rare films that actually makes you feel better about life . . . and it definitely doesn't soft-pedal the shit that life can be.
187. Kiss Me Deadly (1955)*** Bad in the way that old movies are bad--lots of overacting, mainly--but a fair amount of good stuff, too. And shot if full black and white, which I almost always love. Some early Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer. Pretty hard to completely miss when you have the character in front of the show. The ending of this movie has got to be the most bizarre noir finale ever. Also, there's an opening the suitcase scene which Quentin Tarantino was obviously fond of . . . since he stole it for Pulp Fiction. (Alex Cox stole it for Repo Man, too.)
188. Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)** Seriously . . . don't bother. It'll be on Netflix or Redbox soon enough.
189. Black Sea (2014)**** Best line: "They fired men like flushing shit down a toilet. Well... this time the shit is fighting back."
And how is it that Pretty Boy Jude Law ends up reminding me of Bob Hoskins in this movie? I think it's called act-ing. It's not just the haircut or the dour face, either. The voice, that thick, rough accent, that belligerent, dangerous tone. Occasionally softened by a bit of humanity. I've liked Jude Law before . . . especially in his Dr. Watson role . . . but I've never been impressed with him before. That all changed with Black Sea. Good movie, great acting.
**** = Really good.
*** = Worth seeing, but you won't die for lack of it.
** = A waste of time, but one or two good moments.
* = You'll lose two IQ points watching this one.
-0 = This will make you want to kill yourself, but only after you have mounted a water tower with a rifle and taken out as many innocent bystanders as time allows. This rating was invented after viewing Rules of Attraction (-0, Less Than Zero, you know?)
Well, I started a little early. 12/24/2014.
1. The Sand Pebbles ***** Amazing movie about American imperialism in China post Word War I. Impressive, nuanced performance by Steve McQueen . . . and also features a 20 year-old Candice Bergen.
2. 3:10 to Yuma**** This was the 1957 version with Glenn Ford. I watched the 2007 version (twice) last week, and enjoyed it mightily . . . and wanted to see how much Russell Crowe had brought to the table. The answer was quite a bit, but Glenn Ford had set it up for him. In fact, Ford was pretty wonderful, and despite the occasional old-movie idiocies (bad death scenes, for one), this was a very good, compelling movie. It made me want to see more Glenn Ford movies. More news on that as it happens.
3. X-Men: Days of Future Past*** Our Christmas movie. (Joe's choice.) 3rd time I've seen it, and I've enjoyed it more each time . . . mostly because I've been able to let go of the bothersome stupidities inherent in time travel movies. Also, Jennifer Lawrence is muy caliente.
4. Dazed and Confused (1993)*** This is really more of a ** movie, but there are two things that make it worth watching: (1) seeing how dorky several people who later became famous looked in 1993 and (2) the soundtrack. As to the first, there's Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey, Milla Jovovich, Renée Zellweger, and Parker Posey . . . none of whom are in starring roles, and none of whom are within a hundred degrees of hot. As to the second, there's "Sweet Emotion, Highway Star, School's Out, Jim Dandy, Why Can't We Be Friends, Stranglehold, No More Mr Nice Guy, Do You Feel Like We Do, Low Rider, Hurricane, I Just Want To Make Love To You, Love Hurts, Paranoid, There's Never Been Any Reason, Tush, Fox On The Run, Slow Ride, Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo, Show Me The Way, Lord Have Mercy On My Soul, Balinese, Rock and Roll All Nite, Right Place, Wrong Time, Livin' In The USA, Hey Baby, Cherry Bomb, Summer Breeze, Tuesday's Gone, and Free Ride. Not bad for a stupid movie about getting drunk, stoned, and laid, and raising hell.
5. Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (2015)** Joe's choice--although Jacqueline tagged along, which (1) is nice and (2) doesn't happen all that often these days. Both of them seemed to like it, though I did notice that Jacqueline never laughed out loud, so there's that. Joe had seen the first two installments in the series, but this was the first full-on for Jacqueline and me. It was interesting to see Robin Williams in his last film role, as well as Mickey Rooney and Dick Van Dyke, both of whom I thought had died years ago. (21st Century: Looks like this was the next to the last movie for Mickey, who died April 6, 2014, but Dick Van Dyke is 90 and still going--two movies in post-production even as we speak. Yowza. Oh, and it looks like Robin Williams has one more movie still in the tube, so this was not his last movie after all. Thank you, Google.) Oh, yeah, it was also nice to see Hugh Jackman, who had a cute little bit in the movie, and it was very very nice to see Alice Eve, who is a cute little bit. Oh, yeah, it was also disappointing to see Ricky Gervais and Ben Kingsley in their stupid roles, but it's pretty much always disappointing to see either of them, isn't it? I mean, seriously.
6. Unbroken (2014)**** . . . maybe ***** Another Joe choice . . . though I was pretty interested myself once I found out that Joel and Ethan Coen were involved in writing the screenplay. And I've gots to say . . . this movie was pretty awesome. I did not even feel like looking at my watch once. It was really unpleasant to watch at times . . . it was a real The The Passion of The Louis Zamperini The thing . . . but it was also touching and inspiring and mesmerizing. I was most impressed by Angelina Jolie's directing here. I've never been much of an AJ fan, I have to admit . . . but behind the camera she is just amazing. There were several cuts which were just so perfect that I was stunned. Mostly in terms of her knowing what to leave out, when a scene didn't have to continue. This movie also had an awesome opening scene . . . . Yep, she's good. Going to see if I can find the other movies she's directed . . . A Place in Time a documentary from 2007 and In the Land of Blood and Honey from 2011.
7. Manuscripts Don't Burn (2013)**** . . . but not for the faint of heart. Amazing (and true) story of the Iranian government's attempt to kill intellectuals and activists during the 90s.
8. Mozart in the Jungle Season One (2014)*** Not great, but some great moments . . . and some great characters. I really liked Rodrigo. Except when he was with his wife. That was stupid. But his wife was hot.
9. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)**** My third time for this one, and I still really like it. Plus Scarlett Johansson is really hot.
10. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)**** Some really good laughs in this one, many of which involve Bradley Cooper as Rocket Raccoon. Chris Pratt is really good, too . . . especially when he's dancing. Alas, there are no hot girls in this movie, which is just a damned shame.
11. Banshee: Season One*** There are a lot of what the fuck moments in this show . . . where credulity is attenuated and even completely ripped into pieces. And there is way too much blood. But I really love the characters in this show. I may have to get Season 2. But I'm going to try to resist.
12. Elvis on Tour (1972)* There's not much to like in this documentary. The directors make way too much use of a split screen--two and sometimes three sections--for no apparent reason. And Elvis,'s singing is not his best. At times he's off key, at times he seems out of gas, and at times he is just show boating so much that it's hard not to dislike him. If you like Elvis, skip this one.
13. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)**** Well, what can I say? Still going strong on the 4th viewing.
14. The Silence (2010)*** I only looked in on this movie to see Ulrich Thomsen in a role other than Amish Mafia (Banshee). The irony being that I completely forgot to watch him because the movie itself was so horrifying. It's about the rape and murder of an eleven year old girl, and the subsequent murder of another young girl. Subject matter that would usually send me to the exit door as soon as it became evident that that's what was going on. But I watched it, and the story was well-told. I just don't know if it's a story that needed to be told. Still thinking about this.
15. Snowpiercer (2013)* I don't understand how Chris Evans, Tilda Swinton, Ed Harris, and John Hurt could have allowed themselves to be in this movie. I mean, seriously. The premise is absolutely idiotic, the plot is wafer thin, the special effects are laughable . . . I would have flushed this piece of shit down the toilet after five minutes if I'd been watching it by and for myself, but Joe glommed onto it . . . and it had Captain America (with a beard) in it . . . and lots of fights . . . so he was in for a pound. But it's not too late for you, so take my tip. If that's not enough to scare you off, try this bit of Chris Evans monologue: "You know what I hate about myself? I know what people taste like. I know that babies taste best." Yes he did. Sheesh. I'd starve before I said those words. Irony intended.
16. Selma (2014)***** I have so many thoughts about this movie that I am just going to write them separately, but suffice it to see that this was a really important movie and that it was very well done.
17. Tropic Thunder (2008)-0 An astonishingly bad movie. It's depressing to see people like Tom Cruise, Matthew McConaughey, Nick Moore, and Robert Downey, Jr., in a piece of shit like this. I don't understand how anybody could think this was funny. And how is it possible that Etan Cohen had anything to do with writing this?
18. WUSA (1970)**** Didn't know about this movie until a few hours before I found it on the You Tub and watched it. I was reading up on Robert Stone and found that he had written the script for this movie based on his first novel (of the same name). And it stars Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, and Anthony Perkins. Not a bad way to break into the movie business. Strange and disturbing movie, but it's pretty close to a must have item. Case in point: "I have always thought that without God we keep finding the insect in each other. We tear like insects." That's some heavy ass shit, man.
19. The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)* Wow, they actually made this movie. And four semi-famous people (Eve Torres, Lou Ferrigno, Rutger Hauer and Barry Bostwick) were in it. I tried to find out what the budget was for this thing, but was unable to do so. That's probably for the best, though . . . it would only have depressed the shit out of me, I'm sure.
20. Cast Away (2000)***** Joe wanted to see this. I don't know why. It might have just appeared on Netflix. He told me he had seen it before . . . when it came out, he says. Which would mean he was five years old, but it's quite possible he remembers back that far. It was hard for me to watch. Very emotional. This was my first divorce movie. In fact, I printed out a little sign that said, "Keep breathing and see what the tide brings in." and hung it above my bathroom doorway. When Kelly (Helen Hunt) says, "You're my true love!" to Chuck (Tom Hanks), I cloudbursted. Jesus. But it's a great movie, for sure. It really is about what it's about--and not many things are.
21. The Odd Couple (1968)**** Got to admit that I kept hoping Jack Klugman would show up, but this movie was quite the hoot. And I'm sorry to admit that before this viewing I didn't realize that Neil Simon wrote this.
22. Frank (2014)***** Yes, five. It was the last scene--singing and crying--that put it there for me. Until then it was quirky and interesting and profound without being pretentious, but that last scene put it into my lap and made me suckle it. Oh, wait a minute, was that an inside thought? P.S. I love you all. http://youtu.be/zOt6ppIBOd4
23. Blue Ruin (2013)-0 And I just saw some review show where they praised this movie. Jesus. Bloody, nasty, and pointless.
24. Going the Distance (2010)*** It was sweet. Sometimes you need sweet. Sometimes you need to believe that there is a chance that things will work out. That love can survive in this fucked up world.
25. This is Where I Leave You (2014)*** Y'know, I really liked this movie. It was funny, it was touching, it had some excellent acting--especially from Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Adam Driver, and my two favorites, Timothy Olyphant and Rose Byrne. I want to call it a four asterisk movie . . . but it has a couple (or so) movie movie moments that keep it from being that for me. Most of those moments involve violence. They feel more like "crazy boffo laughs" than real moments, though, and that lets some air out of the tires.
26. Chef (2014)**** A bit disappointing at the end with its completely unbelievable "feel good" resolution, but at its best parts--driving the truck to L.A.-- it was really good, really touching and joyful. It was also cool to see Dustin Hoffman, Scarlett Johansson, and Robert Downey in small roles.
27. Seventh Son (2015)* You know, sometimes when a movie starts I'll think, Hey, this is pretty good. I wonder why it got such terrible reviews. And then I find out. Like this one. Jaysus.
28. Downtown Abbey Season One (2011)**** Tried this show awhile back, but was put off by it. Looked like a story about rich people doing rich people things, and that's not something I care about at all. But I saw an advert for a Downton Abbey Tea Party at the Middleton Library, and I'm trying to do some out of my comfort zone social things, so I thought I'd give it another shot. And I'm glad that I did. This is an excellent show, very moving, very character driven, and not just about rich people . . . and when it is, they're not always doing rich people things.
29. Downtown Abbey Season Two (2012)**** More good.
30. Downtown Abbey Season Three (2013)**** And more more good.
31. Banshee Season Two (2014)**** What a ridiculous fucking show. I need to get hold of Season 3. I'm Jonesing, man.
32. Princess Mononoke [Mononoke-hime ] (1997)***** it's been a long long time since I saw this movie. In fact, I saw it in the theater, so it may well have been 18 years since I've seen it. But there was a VHS copy at Goodwill for 50 cents, and I still speak VHS, so . . . . Well, it's Miyazaki, so I guess I don't have to tell you it's a must see item. In fact, in the first fifteen minutes it made me exclaim, "OH!" four times. All this and Billy Bob Thornton, too? Sign me up.
33. Far North (1988)** Sam Shepard (writing and directing), Jessica Lange, Charles Durning, and Patricia Arquette. What could possibly go wrong? Well . . . just about everything.
34. Heaven is For Real (2014)*** On the one hand . . . the whole idea of a kid having a near death experience and visiting heaven then coming back to talk about it seems like bullshit. One the other hand . . . this was a pretty moving story, and I will have to confess that I do not know everything about the universe. So this movie came me some things to think about, and that's worth doing, I'd say. It's sure as hell more than True North gave me--unless you count, "Why the hell was this movie made?" as something to think about.
35. Jupiter Ascending (2015)** On the other hand, Joe loved it. Some of the visuals were pretty awesome, but they forgot to tell a story that made sense. Ooopsie. I spent most of my time wondering why Mila Kunis's left eye looked droopy. Googled it when I got home, but didn't find anything. Maybe it was my imagination.
36. King Lear (2015)***** Wow. Magnificent job. $20 is a lot to spend on a movie, but I have to say that this was totally worth it. Makes me think that I may have to come back to Baxter Avenue for the other four filmed Shake-speare plays.
37. 99%: The Occupy Wall Street Collaborative Film (2013)***** Not a great documentary, but one that I think has to be seen . . . unless you just don't give a shit about anything.
38. Midnight Cowboy (1969)**** I guess it's amazing that I haven't seen this movie before now. It was worth the wait, though. Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight are both great, and the director did some really interesting things with flashbacks. The ending is really effective, too, even though you kind of see it coming from a mile away.
39. Starship Troopers (1997)* The funny thing is that the director, Paul Verhoeven said (of the novel the movie is "based on"), "I stopped after two chapters because it was so boring . . . . It is really quite a bad book. I asked Ed Neumeier to tell me the story because I just couldn't read the thing. It's a very right-wing book." Well, I've only read a little bit of the book at this point, but I can tell you that any page that I read was worth more than the whole of this crappy movie. And Verhoeven commenting that it's "a right wing book" . . . maybe it is, that remains for me to see, but what the hell does he think this movie is? If (as some have suggested) it's supposed to have satiric elements, then I can tell you that it completely fails at this. And you know what satire that doesn't work is.
40. Divergent (2014)** Kind of exciting at times, though some serious bullshit was used to resolve plot difficulties near the end. Not really the Hunger Games rip-off I imagined it to be. In fact, it was really more of a rip-off of Harry Potter, what with the high-tech sorting hat and the warring factions. Glad I didn't pay for it, but not really sorry I saw it.
41. The Walking Dead: Season 1 (2010)***** Yeah, really . . . 5 stars. This is a show about what it means to be human and why you should fight to live. Watching it again was quite an experience.
42. Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)*** I've been reading David Gerrold's The World of Star Trek and Leonard Nimoy died and Joe was talking about that and then I saw that this was on Netflix and Joe was down for it, so we watched it together. It is so slow moving that it's baffling, and the plot is thinner than a dime, but still, it's Kirk and Spock, ya know? Think I'm going to make a run through the whole movie series--hopefully with Joe.
43. Tarzan (1999)** Y'know.
44. The Walking Dead: Season Two (2011)***** Mo bettah.
45. The Walking Dead: Season Three (2012)*****
46. Saints and Soldiers: The Void (2014)* Sorry to say, since I really liked the first two Saints and Soldiers movies, but this one was just empty. No pun intended.
47. Chappie (2015)* This was baddie. Nothing in this movie made any sense at all. It looked good, though.
48. Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)***** At Baxter Avenue . . . with Ted Neeley and Kurt Yaghjian in the theater for a chat before the screening. Pretty fuckin' cool, eh?
49. Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion (2009)-0 It's absolutely amazing how bad this movie was. How could this thing have been made? Somebody actually put up $2,000,000 for this thing . . . and got Adam West, June Lockhart, and Michael Rooker (Merle Dixon on The Walking Dead) to be in it. I guess the good news is that it only made $30,955 (not a typo), but when I think about people I know who have been struggling to get movies made for decades and then see something like this . . . which is now showing on HBO . . . it's just stunningly sad.
50. The Phantom (1996)** At least it helped me to forget Super Capers.
51. Fast and Furious 6 (2013)*** A ridiculous movie, but you knew that going in, right? Still, there's a certain charm . . . and even a bit of warmth in terms of the relationship between the main characters. Besides, it was on HBO and I had nothing better to do, and I had to get ready for
52. Furious 7 (2015)** Totally ridiculous movie, but I have to admit that I never once felt like looking at my watch. And as you might have guessed, Joe loved it.
53. Into the Storm (2014)* Second in the series of Really Shitty Movies That Feature Walking Dead Stars . . . this one with Sarah Wayne Callies (Lori). And that's all.
54. Teacher's Pet (1958)**** Yep. And I don't even like Clark Gable. But this movie had some brains and some heart. And it was actually about something--as opposed to just a bunch of shit happening (like the last five movies I've seen). It was also interesting to see Charlie's grandpa (Jack Albertson) when he was younger . . . but still had that same great voice.
55. Better Call Saul: Season One (2015)****
56. The Life of David Gale (2003)**** Funny, I saw this movie some time ago . . . probably when it first came out . . . and didn't like it. Can't remember why, but my guess would be because of the sickening portrayal of a naked woman committing suicide. Possibly also because it starred Kevin Spacey, and I have no love for him. But for some reason I started watching it when I caught it on television, and stayed with it until the end, and then found when it was showing again and set the dvr so I could watch the first half-hour that I'd missed. Just finished watching that. And I have to say this is an effective movie. There are a few of the usual kinds of movie stupidities . . . like a university having a faculty / student mixer where liquor is consumed and dirty poems recited . . . but the main story is powerful, and Spacey does a good job. As does Kate Winslet. It was also nice to see a 27 year old Rhona Mitra. Rrrrrrr.
57. Robert Wyatt Story (2001)***** Fuckin' amazing. Such as:
"As far as I'm concerned, I'm dreaming all the time. The only difference is that I come up for daylight and other people the way a whale has to come up for air."
and
"Even at my most depressed about the world, I've always thought, 'Well, there's jazz.'"
58. Daredevil (2015)**** This was the best 12 hour movie ever. I don't think I had any complaints at all until the final episode, and even the indulgences there didn't spoil the show for me. All of the actors did great jobs. And it was a special treat to see Scott Glenn's contribution. And at age 74 he still looks like he could kick your ass. I hope it's not too long before the next installment of Marvel / Netflix hits the little screen, cause these guys are good.
59. Vikings: Season 3 (2015)**** Another great season.
60. Regarding Susan Sontag (2014)**** No, wait, it's *****. Don't know anything about Sontag (other than what was here), but this was really good, important stuff. I'm going to miss HBO, man.
61. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)***** I don't even know how many times I've seen this movie now. Four or five? Watched with Pat this time, and she really enjoyed it, and it's always fun to watch somebody else like something that's important to you.
62. Backstrom: Season One (2015)**** Rainn Wilson as an autisticy-type detective with more vices than you can count in a minute. I really enjoyed this show.
63. Orphan Black: Series One (2013)**** Tatiana Maslany is amazing. And hot. Bring on Series Two.
64. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)** I had high hopes for this movie . . . and there were certainly some great bits--more than one or two, for sure--but this just wasn't a good movie. For one thing, there were just too many things that didn't make sense. For instance, just because a guy can run really fast doesn't mean that he can split robots in half with his bare hand. Ya know? And there were too many "this is a movie" movie scenes. Joe loved it, though, so it was still worth going to.
65. Leaving Las Vegas (1995)-0 Somebody told me that s/he loved this movie, and when I got home to my empty house last night it was on and had just started, so I watched it. I kept waiting for it to become good, poignant, and / or meaningful. But it never happened. What a waste of celluloid. What a complete reveling in despair and degeneracy.
66. Orphan Black: Series Two (2014)**** Did I mention that Tatiana Mislay is really hot? The show is pretty okay, too. I've become extremely fond of Helena . . . 'cause she's crazy.
Ooops. Forgot some stuff. The quick version:
67. Nicholas Nickleby (2002)***
68. The Crimson Petal and the White (2011)*****
69. The Hour: Series One (2011)****
70. The Hour: Series Two (2012)*****
The movie foursome started because I'd read Nicholas Nickleby and wanted to check out a movie version, and 20 year old Romola Garai, who played Kate Nickleby, knocked my eyes out, so I went looking for some more of her stuff. Turns out that she's actually an excellent actress and has been involved in some seriously good stuff. And . . . um . . . she's super hot, too.
71. POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (2011)***
72. Gotham: Season One (2014)*** Too goofy to be taken seriously, but not self-aware enough to be fun. The brightest spot was when Morena Baccarin came on board. I like her. I'd rather see her playing Inara Serra in some new Firefly episodes, but at least I get to look at her.
73. The Last Days on Mars (2013)** Surprisingly creepy space zombie movie. With Romola Garai as Rebecca Lane--looking mighty cute in her little spacesuit.
74. Aliens Vs. Predator (2004)****
75. Aliens Vs. Predator 2: Requiem-0
76. Shaft (1971)***** Yep. Not because it's a great movie--'cause it's not. What it is, though, is a movie where black people don't act like idiots, or, even worse, Uncle Toms. This movie is so far beyond where movies and tv are today in their portrayal of black folks that it makes my soul hurt. And besides all that, it has the grooviest opening / theme song of all time. "Shaft"? You're damn right.
77. The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)***** (1) Can it really be that this film is 27 years old? (2) How many times have I seen this movie now? (3) This is one of my favorite movies. Top 5 at least. One of my other top 5 movies is The Right Stuff (1983), which was also directed by Philip Kaufman. (4) Jo Ann and I saw The Right Stuff at the Village 8. Tickets were one dollar each. It was my first Village 8 movie. We saw The Unbearable Lightness of Being together, too. I remember going to see it again by myself. I think there were only a couple of other people in the theater for it. Isn't it strange how something that is so important to you can mean nothing to so many other people? (5) This time I watched the movie with the director's commentary on. It makes for an interesting viewing experience. I really enjoyed it--though I wouldn't have if I didn't already know the movie so well. It's always amazing to hear people involved with making the movie talk about what's on the screen. You get to see how much thought and effort was put into things--some of them things that you didn't even notice when you watched the film. (6) When this movie came out Jo Ann and I had only been married for five years. We had no children. I was either still working at Metro Fabrications as a wire harness assembler or a few doors down at Label Specialties as a label cutter. I think Jo Ann was still working in a nursing home.
78. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)***** Somebody on the commentary track of The Unbearable Lightness of Being made reference to The Passion of Joan of Arc, and told a super cool story about it. He (don't remember who it was, but it was a he) said that after Carl Theodor Dreyer had finished making this film the studio it was being kept in burned down, destroying the negative of the film. Dreyer then went back to the film he had that he had previously cut or left out of the film and put together this version of the film. Which is a pretty great story. I've read a couple of other versions which seem to refute that great story, though, so I can't say that that is the true version of the story. I guess it doesn't matter, though, because this is a pretty amazing film. For one thing, who'd of thunk that you could watch a two hour silent movie and not be bored? Some of the images in this film are just fucking amazing. In fact, you could release this film today and some of it would still be considered innovative. The last couple of minutes of it are just startling. I watched the whole damned thing on The You Tube. I think that's the same version I just watched. If it is, the "soundtrack" (provided by the uploader--apparently nobody knows what soundtrack Dreyer had or wanted or whatever) on this one was kind of interesting . . . a monstrous industrial dirge rather than music. Near the end I started thinking, The Velvet Underground really should have scored this movie. If I had world enough and time, I'd be tempted to put that together myself. Probably just using non-vocal stuff, but not even sure there. And maybe just a little splash of The Doors.
79. The Turin Horse (2011)****? Not really sure yet. Seems funny to say that I have to watch a two and a half hour Hungarian movie in which nothing happens again to decide if it was **, ***, ****, or *****, but that's the way it is. This was my first full on experience of Bela Tarr, and it is one fucked up movie. I'll be back.
80. The Flash: Season One (2014)**** Y'know, I think this is the best of the tv super-hero shows, and I think the two key factors are (1) Grant Gustin, who is (sorry for the gayness) adorable, earnest, and affective, and (2) the basic optimism embodied in the show. Yes, it still has really goofy shit going on, and the special effects are sometimes less than stellar, but that's not really very important. The show's got heart, and it's not cynical about human nature. (Though I do have to admit that on the hot women scale, Agents of Shield is mos def tops.)
81. Closely Watched Trains (1966)*** This was a very strange little movie. At first it seemed like a light-hearted romp about a guy who had woman troubles--almost Chaplinesque, though more naturalistic than that. Then out of nowhere comes a pretty grisly suicide scene which would have shocked me even if I'd seen it coming, but given the abrupt U-turn it was really unpleasant. And then it was back to the light-hearted romp mood. Had a really funny scene where Hubicka (Josef Somr) asks an older woman if she will help him with his premature ejaculation problem, and as he's talking she's doing something to a creature that looks like a headless but long-necked swan . . . so yes, it looks like she's stroking a gigantic penis as they talk.
And then near the end there's another wild turn and a little terrorist action which results in destruction and death. A true what the fuck experience.
82. Casablanca (1942)***** According to IMDb, this is the 5th greatest movie of all time--behind The Godfather, The Shawshank Redemption, Schindler's List, and Raging Bull 1 --and there's a certain stodginess which would seem to go along with that kind of rep. But that disappears once you start watching the movie. It just works. There's so much wit in the dialogue, Bogart is such a fuckin' MAN, and Ingrid Bergman is so amazingly beautiful . . . it's just amazing. Funny, I probably wouldn't have named this as one of my personal top movies, and I wasn't even particularly looking forward to watching it, but having just watched it, I think it has to have a berth in my own top ten.
1 Of which I've seen all but Schindler's List--tried several times but just couldn't take it--and they are good movies, of course. In fact, Raging Bull is mos def one of my all-time favorites. But greatest movies of all time? Really? I don't know how that's possible. The American Film Institute list seems much more realistic to me
--though I'm thinking that The Graduate probably should slip off that list to make room for It's a Wonderful Life. And, as you can see, the AFI list puts Casablanca at number 2. (It doesn't even appear on the Rotten Tomatoes list (which does include Mad Max: Fury Road at number 10, however, which may be all that you need to know about Rotten Tomatoes's perspective).
83. The Kingdom (2007)*** A surprise. I really thought this would be a piece-o-shit, but Joe saw it and when he saw that it was centered around the war in Iraq he asked me to buy it for him--he's pretty fascinated by the whole War on Terror thing. So I sat down to watch it with him, and it was a good story, really. Some of the violence was a bit on the extreme side, but the action was quite absorbing, and all of the lead actors did great jobs. Jennifer Garner was especially noteworthy as she played a badass with a heart so convincingly. Plus she's purty.
84. Marketa Lazarova (1967)*** . . . I think. A very strange movie. The look--stark black and white shots of a snow-covered landscape--is quite striking. And in the beginning (and at intervals throughout) the sound of voices chanting and a narrator is effective--though undercut by the subtitles, which are colloquial to the point of stupidity. (But maybe that's the translator's fault.) During an early fight scene, though, the choreography is quite bad, and the editing is abominable--actually leaving out the most important frames (e.g. when a blow lands). So I was a little surprised to find that this was "voted the all-time best Czech movie in a prestigious 1998 poll of Czech film critics and publicists" (which comes via Wikipedia, natch). There are some great bits, such as the line, "a human heart is full of sorrow." Such as the part where the narrator talks to the character and he responds, and a little conversation ensues. Such as the beautiful 19 year-old Magda Vásáryová.
85. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)** Of course, it depends what you're looking for. If you're looking for plot, character development, good dialogue, logic, or nudity, look somewhere else. Maybe a nice Hungarian film. If you're looking for rip-roaring action (as long as the War Wagon is in motion) which will keep your major muscle groups tensed and lots of explosions and the occasional "Oh no!" / "Oh my God!" moment, then you have come to the right place. And even with that Queer 1 haircut, an incomplete left arm, and a dire need for a bath, Charlize Theron is still hot.
1 Apparently this is now an okay thing. In the old days it was derogatory language, so it still makes me cringe a bit.
The Béla Tarr Festival
86. Hotel Magnezit (1978)
87. Macbeth (1982)
88. Journey on the Plain (1995)
89. The Outsider (1981)
90. Autumn Almanac (1985)
91. Werckmeister Harmonies (2000)
93. Family Nest (1979)
94. The Prefab People (1982)
95. Satantango (1994)
96. The Man From London (2007)
And at this point I'm going to have to say ***** em all . . . though I get a lot more detailed on the post dedicated to these movies. I am really happy that I chanced upon Mr. Tarr. Some lovely movies here. I'm probably going to watch them all a few more times.
97. The 400 Blows (1959)*** I guess. Though at the moment I'm feeling more like **ish, but maybe I'll get over it. At the moment I just can't understand what's so great about this movie. As I opined in a blog entry, however, it could be at least in part due to the fact that I've just finished watching a shitload of Béla Tarr movies, and I'm starting to think that nothing can compare to him. (Sigh.)
98. Jurassic World (2015)* Seriously.
99. Russian Ark (2002)***** Yep. Take that, Spielberg.
100. The Chocolate War (1988)** Two Peter Gabriel and one Kate Bush on the soundtrack, which gets it a second star. Otherwise, pretty much sucked ass.
101. Tarr Béla: I Used to Be A Filmmaker (2014)***** That's what I'm talking about.
102. Louie: Season 4 (2014)*** Been a long time since I watched Louie. Just got tired of masturbation and dick jokes. But Number One Son is a fan, so I gave it a shot. There were still too many masturbation and dick jokes, but there was some good stuff, too. Some creative direction, such as extensive footage covering Louie's past. Some rather astounding guest stars, like Jerry Seinfeld, Jeremy Renner, Chris Rock, David Lynch. At least kind of interesting.
103. Tracers (2015)** Actually, the chase scenes (at least 50% of the movie) were quite good, very exciting, allathat. The story itself wasn't terrible . . . until the end, when everything snapped together like a cheap plastic lock, of course. Still, it was kind of fun to watch with Little Mr. Joe.
104. Nightcrawler (2014)**** or ***. Pretty intense shit. And Jake Gyllenhaal, who I hadn't known much (if anything) about previously, was most impressive. So much so that (along with the top notch trailer) I'm looking forward to seeing his next film, Southpaw. Only one thing bothered me about Nightcrawler: if Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal) was in such a hurry to get to these crime scenes, why did he not once use his powers? Hell, he wouldn't have even needed that shitty, double-crossing partner if he'd teleported. Maybe they're holding that ace up their sleeves for the sequel?
105. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011)**** Holds up pretty well--though I did start making a list of peevs which may or may not be Sir Not Appearing in this Film. Listened to the commentary track after watching the whole film, which was quite interesting. And had some good stories. Like they decided to film a scene in a real coffee shop and use a real barista. The barista agreed, did the part, revealed that she was the daughter of the actor who played Mikael in the Swedish version. Do do do do, do do do do.
106. The Commitments (1991)***** Don't know how many times I've seen this movie, but it's always a good watch. I was either laughing or smiling or nodding my head to the music (and smiling) the whole time. Also, this was the first movie I watched with R., so it's special.
107. Delicatessen (1991)**** and maybe another *. Fantastic movie. Very odd, which often works for me. But rooted in the real, too. Second R. movie, btw.
108. Il Postino (1994)***** Watched the movie with dvd commentary, learned a lot of stuff that was painful, so don't do that if you don't want that. Then watched the movie. So sweet. So lovely. And then that killer ending. I cried. This is probably one of those movies you should go out of your way to re-watch every year or so. Reminds you of why life can sometimes be worth living.
109 and 110. Solaris (1972)*** and Solaris (2002)*** Just found out that I'd forgotten to put the original movie on my list, so just added it in here. Wrote about it HERE, so I won't go back over that ground, but I will say that as funny as Stanislaw Lem's line about the 2002 version was, he got it wrong. The 2002 is a good movie. In many ways a better movie than the 1972 version--and not just in terms of the technical aspects. It's a haunting story. Also two mighty lines:
"There are no answers--only choices."
and
" . . . like all puppets you think you're actually human. It's the puppets dream, being human."
It's most definitely worth seeing. As is 1972, for sure . . . but the 2002 won't be so hard to watch, ya know? Just sayin'.
111. México Pelágico (2014)***** This was a good little documentary. "Little" because it clocks in at 69 minutes. 5* because it's important that we humans realize that we are fucking up the world and that we had better stop before it fucks us back. It's also good to see such sincere and passionate people at work. And some of the photography is immensely beautiful. Yep, must see item.
112. Antarctica: A Year on Ice (2013)**** Excellent documentary that simultaneously made me want to go to Antarctica immediately and never ever get within five thousand miles of the place. Very interesting. Even touching at times.
113. Angel-A (2005)**** Starring Rie Rasmussen
and what's-his-name . . . was anybody else even in this movie? Ha ha. Just joshin' ya. But Rie certainly does draw the eye. Excellent movie. Fun, funny, and smart, too. Beautiful scenery (Paris), and a redemption story, which we most certainly need more of these days. My favorite single shot featured Rie standing behind a headless Winged Victory--so that her head was in the correct position to complete the statue. Which is clever, right up there with Eva Green's Venus de Milo in The Dreamers (2003) (though not nearly as hot). (Which was also a good film, but a bit disturbing, too.)
114. Ant-Man (2015)*** Fun, goofy-ass movie. Made me laugh.
115. Blast From the Past (1999)** I was kind of surprised to see Sissy Spacek here--though I guess that by 1999 her best years were behind her. As for Brendan Fraser, what can you say? He's a goofy ass sonovabitch and he's made millions doing that schtick, so what the hell. Though I have seen a few films in which he was actually quite good. Like Gods and Monsters. And . . . well . . . maybe just Gods and Monsters.
116. Werckmeister Harmonies (2000)***** My third viewing. I love this movie. Talk about things and nobody cares. Wearing out things that nobody wears.
117. Down by Law (1986)**** Oh, such a young Tom Waits. Written and directed by (a young) Jim Jarmusch.
118. The Second Circle (1990)*** Pretty disturbing movie. Read about it in Ira Jaffe's Slow Movies and it sounded pretty interesting. As indeed it was, but it was also quite painful and forlorn. If you don't mind missing all of the words--or if you speak Russian--you can see the whole thing online. Maybe. Those things seem to disappear pretty soon after they're put up in most cases.
There are some things that I didn't understand, though. Like the colors. I don't know what the purpose is behind the shifts from black and white to red lighting to sepia lighting mean. And the taking the father's body out to wash it in the snow. On the one hand, it's a powerful scene. Reading about it in Slow Movies made me want to see how it was done. Actually watching it, though, I couldn't help thinking, "Why the hell does he take his father's body outside to try to wash it with snow when he could have brought snow inside and melted it and actually washed his father's body?" I don't think you can usurp logic for the sake of aesthetics. It also bothered me that the father's body was put down beside the tractor. It just seemed like a too obvious (and completely illogical) fraught-with-symbolism moment. On the plus side, the actor who plays the bereaved son (who may or may not be Pyotr Aleksandrov) was quite good, really brought you into the character's grief. And the way he encounters the world in the wake of his father's passing feels frustratingly real. So . . . not a cup of tea everyone will want to drink, but I'm glad to have seen it.
119. Mother and Son (1997)***** This movie--another Aleksandr Sokurov directed film--blew me away from the first scene. Speaking of which, when the movie opens you think that you're looking at a still photograph or maybe even a painting. The son is lying in bed with his mother, his head above hers. Then a small movement of his lips shows that it's not a still or a painting. But the faulty of the picture is amazing. Solurov p\does this a number of times throughout the film, and for that reason alone I'd have put this movie in the must see category . . . but there's a hell of a lot more than that. The relationship between son and mother (who are not given names) is so tender, so sweet, that it just melts your heart. It's the kind of movie that makes you want to be a better person. Also, despite what might seem a grim premise . . . a son keeping his mother company and caring for her while she dies--the movie seems filled with beauty to me. Interestingly enough, there's an overt denial of the existence of God pretty early on. The mother has some kind of physical crisis, perhaps her heart, and she asks, "What's up there?" And the son responds, "Nothing. Nobody is up there." Or words to that effect--I didn't have it in me to rewind because I didn't want to stop the motion of the film. So now I've seen three Sokurov films--The Second Circle(1990), Mother and Son (1997), Russian Ark (2002)--and they've all been at least interesting. According to IMDb, he's directed 60 films to date--the last one was finished this year, so he's still working. Please, sir, I want some more.
111. México Pelágico (2014)***** This was a good little documentary. "Little" because it clocks in at 69 minutes. 5* because it's important that we humans realize that we are fucking up the world and that we had better stop before it fucks us back. It's also good to see such sincere and passionate people at work. And some of the photography is immensely beautiful. Yep, must see item.
112. Antarctica: A Year on Ice (2013)**** Excellent documentary that simultaneously made me want to go to Antarctica immediately and never ever get within five thousand miles of the place. Very interesting. Even touching at times.
113. Angel-A (2005)**** Starring Rie Rasmussen
114. Ant-Man (2015)*** Fun, goofy-ass movie. Made me laugh.
115. Blast From the Past (1999)** I was kind of surprised to see Sissy Spacek here--though I guess that by 1999 her best years were behind her. As for Brendan Fraser, what can you say? He's a goofy ass sonovabitch and he's made millions doing that schtick, so what the hell. Though I have seen a few films in which he was actually quite good. Like Gods and Monsters. And . . . well . . . maybe just Gods and Monsters.
116. Werckmeister Harmonies (2000)***** My third viewing. I love this movie. Talk about things and nobody cares. Wearing out things that nobody wears.
117. Down by Law (1986)**** Oh, such a young Tom Waits. Written and directed by (a young) Jim Jarmusch.
118. The Second Circle (1990)*** Pretty disturbing movie. Read about it in Ira Jaffe's Slow Movies and it sounded pretty interesting. As indeed it was, but it was also quite painful and forlorn. If you don't mind missing all of the words--or if you speak Russian--you can see the whole thing online. Maybe. Those things seem to disappear pretty soon after they're put up in most cases.
There are some things that I didn't understand, though. Like the colors. I don't know what the purpose is behind the shifts from black and white to red lighting to sepia lighting mean. And the taking the father's body out to wash it in the snow. On the one hand, it's a powerful scene. Reading about it in Slow Movies made me want to see how it was done. Actually watching it, though, I couldn't help thinking, "Why the hell does he take his father's body outside to try to wash it with snow when he could have brought snow inside and melted it and actually washed his father's body?" I don't think you can usurp logic for the sake of aesthetics. It also bothered me that the father's body was put down beside the tractor. It just seemed like a too obvious (and completely illogical) fraught-with-symbolism moment. On the plus side, the actor who plays the bereaved son (who may or may not be Pyotr Aleksandrov) was quite good, really brought you into the character's grief. And the way he encounters the world in the wake of his father's passing feels frustratingly real. So . . . not a cup of tea everyone will want to drink, but I'm glad to have seen it.
119. Mother and Son (1997)***** This movie--another Aleksandr Sokurov directed film--blew me away from the first scene. Speaking of which, when the movie opens you think that you're looking at a still photograph or maybe even a painting. The son is lying in bed with his mother, his head above hers. Then a small movement of his lips shows that it's not a still or a painting. But the faulty of the picture is amazing. Solurov p\does this a number of times throughout the film, and for that reason alone I'd have put this movie in the must see category . . . but there's a hell of a lot more than that. The relationship between son and mother (who are not given names) is so tender, so sweet, that it just melts your heart. It's the kind of movie that makes you want to be a better person. Also, despite what might seem a grim premise . . . a son keeping his mother company and caring for her while she dies--the movie seems filled with beauty to me. Interestingly enough, there's an overt denial of the existence of God pretty early on. The mother has some kind of physical crisis, perhaps her heart, and she asks, "What's up there?" And the son responds, "Nothing. Nobody is up there." Or words to that effect--I didn't have it in me to rewind because I didn't want to stop the motion of the film. So now I've seen three Sokurov films--The Second Circle(1990), Mother and Son (1997), Russian Ark (2002)--and they've all been at least interesting. According to IMDb, he's directed 60 films to date--the last one was finished this year, so he's still working. Please, sir, I want some more.
120. Mother and Son (1997)***** So I watched it again. It was even better.
121. Under the Skin (2013)* The most interesting thing about this movie--and the only reason it gets one * rather than -0 from moi--is that it's the first time Scarlett Johansson gets naked on film. That said, however, I've got to add that she actually looked a lot better when she was not completely naked--like the towel scene in A Love Song for Bobby Long. Or even that lovely little Green Bay Packers sweater picture. So it goes. But the movie itself . . . . Well. It's based on a Michel Faber novel, which is the other reason I wanted to see it. I have great love for Mr. Faber, and plan on / am in the process of reading all of his books. (He writes some big books, though, so this will take awhile.) And I'm still going to read the novel Under the Skin, because I just cannot believe that it is as vapid as this movie. (Here's the plot: a hot alien chick seduces guys who sink into black goop. Then we find out that UNDER THE SKIN she is black goop. Oh, sorry. Retrograde Spoiler Alert. But trust me, if I've spoiled the movie for you, I've saved you from wasting two hours of your life. Just Google Image Search "Scarlett Johansson Under the Skin Naked" and you'll get everything you want or need. ) I think it's pretty hilarious that Scarlett chose to debut her tits and ass in this movie. And then had the noive to say, how it was a necessary part of the story, it wasn't gratuitous, blah blah blah. I would have liked her so much more if she'd said, "Well, I'm hitting 30, you know, and these tits aren't going to stand up on their own forever." But no, she bared herself for the sake of ART. As if this shitty movie could be considered art. Jesus.
122. Southpaw (2015)**** Jake Gyllenhaal did a superb job in this movie. As did Forest Whitaker. Even 50 Cent. So why is this movie getting tepid reviews? The big complaint seems to be that the movie relies upon boxing movie cliches. There's something to that. In fact, there were several distinct Rocky echoes. But so what? I think you judge the story on the story, and I thought this was a good story. It made me feel like putting on the gloves and pounding on someone. Someone smaller and weaker, of course. Oh, and even though I am not an Eminem fan, I really liked the "Phenomenal" song quite a bit.
And the movie? It was alright.
124. Shaft (2000)-0 My God what a piece of shit this was. Yet another movie in which nothing anyone does makes any sense whatsoever. And yet it made over $61 million (Box office $107,196,498 - Budget $46 million). Hmpf.
125. Catastrophe (2015)***
126. Faust (2011) Another Aleksandr Sokurov film. Very strange, very fucked up. Very repulsive at times, too. In fact, the opening scene has Faust digging through the guts of a corpse, apparently looking for the soul. Not sure what to make of this. It's just so bizarre. Like . . . a doctor examining a woman's genitals, and she is singing and clearly having a good time. He pulls an egg out of her, hands it to her, and she peels it (it's hard boiled) and eats it. He chastises her. Whu . . . ? But you've got to give it to Sokurov, he is willing to stretch the boundaries. A very interesting director. BTW, saw a familiar-looking woman and after a bit thought, that's Auntie Tünde from Werckmeister Harmonies, checked and sure enough, it was. In the process of checking I also saw some pictures of the actress--Hanna Schygulla--when she was young, and she was quite the babe. Google and weep.
127. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (2015)*** Some cool scenes, for sure. And it made my leg jiggle. I didn't look at my watch. But you know, at the end of it I didn't know any more about life than I did at the beginning of it. That's started to become important. On the other hand, Joe loved it.
128. Fantastic Four (1994-ish)** This movie was such a fucked up mess . . . and so ludicrous . . . and the special effects were so god awfully bad . . . that it was quite enjoyable to watch. Never released (hence the -ish), but hey, this is the 21st Century. You can watch the whole thing online. (Maybe.) IMBd estimates that the budget was $1,500,000. Compare that to Fantastic Four 2005's $100 million, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer 2007's $130 million, and Fantastic Four 2015's $122 million (oops, that's not a good sign, is it?) and you get some idea of just how bad this first FF film was. Still has to be seen to be believed, though. Heh heh.
129. Alexandra / Александра (2007)***** Another great film from Alexander Sokurov. This movie also made me want to read about Chechnya. (And hey, looks like Scribd has several books on that topic.)
130. Pulling: Season One (2006)**** There were a few times when I thought this show went "too far" in terms of its humor, but for the most part this was a really funny show. From Sharon Horgan (who also brought us Catastrophe) and Dennis Kelly.
131. Pulling: Season Two (2008)**** This season was even funnier. Still goes too far, though. I mean, killing a cat with a brick??????
132. Fantastic Four (2015)*** I don't really get why this tanked at the box office. (Budget $120 million, current box office $75.3 million . . . 8% on the Tomatometer and 3.9/10 on IMDb.) I thought it was a better movie than Avengers: Age of Ultron (which cost $279.9 million and had a box office take of $1.399 billion.) And more than that, I thought it was a good movie. But what the fuck do I know.
133. Big Trouble in Little China (1986)*** I've got to say, this was a fun movie. "Son of a bitch must pay!"
134. John Wick (2014)*** This did pretty much everything it was supposed to do and was mos def engaging, but I was surprised that it was the first of a trilogy of films. Guess you've got to do something after you've done The Matrix.
135. David Bowie: Five Years (2013)****
136. Misery Loves Comedy (2015)****
137. The Defiant Ones (1958)***** That's right, five. This movie . . . hells yeah. A black guy and a white guy escape from the prison bus when it crashes. But they're chained together. And they hate each other. But there's no way they can survive without helping each other out. So, for instance, when they try to cross a river and Noah Cullen (Sidney Poitier) gets swept away in the current, John "Joker" Jackson (Tony Curtis) has to help him . . . or else he'd be pulled into the river as well. One of the reviewers on the IMDb page for this movie refers to "this formula jail-break drama," which I thought was a really strange way to categorize this movie. It's so obviously not about a prison escape. And it's not really even about black / white relations, I'd have to say. It's just about trying to get through life . . . trying to survive in a world that's neither fair nor kind. Early on in the movie Joker and Noah are out in the wilds . . . swamp-ish wilds . . . and they hear a horrible sound. Here is the exchange that follows hearing the horrible sound:
Joker: What was that?
Noah: Weasel. Hoot owl musta got him.
Joker: I thought you said they didn't make any noise.
Noah: Only when they're dyin', Joker.
Joker: That's a great way to live. You keep quiet all your life, and the only time you open your mouth is when you're dyin'.
Now that packs some punch, doesn't it?
Later on Joker and Noah end up at the house of a woman and her son, and though the way the woman ("Billy's Mother, played by Cara Williams) doesn't seem believable . . . she goes womp-eyed over Joker, and ends up fucking him . . . they do have this poignant exchange:
Billy's Mother: Does it ever get really bad?
Joker: Mm-hm.
Billy's Mother: No. No, I mean. . . I mean so bad that you just feel
kinda empty inside. You know? Like a big empty thing, and all you
wanna do is fill it up with tears.
Joker: I'll tell you somethin'. You fill it up with tears and you're a goner.
Billy's Mother: What can you do?
Joker: I fill it up with dreams.
Billy's Mother: You gotta know about somethin' before you can dream about it.
Joker: No, you don't.
Billy's Mother: Look, I was born miles from here. And I just don't know nothin' else.
It's a little heavy-handed and south of the corny line, but I think it still works.
Another thing I liked about this movie was the way that the director dealt with the passage of time in a couple of spots. In one, at the beginning, after the prison bus crashes the camera focuses on one of the wheels turning in the rain. Then both wheel and rain slow, stop, and time has passed. A very significant time, too, as this is when Joker and Noah escape from the bus, and we don't even see it. In another scene, there's a confrontation between some townspeople and Joker and Noah, and after the scene ends the camera focus stays on a fire burning in the street. The fire slowly goes out, then it's the next day. Nice touches.
And the ending . . . well . . . THAT was unexpected.
I also found out that there was a remake of this movie in 1986 with Robert Urich and Carl Weathers. That sounds like a really bad idea, but it's free on Amazon, so I will have to give it a spin tomorrow. I'm strong, I can take it.
138. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)**** Fun, funny, and smart. I was really surprised at what a great job both Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer did . . . since both of them were kind of stiffs in previous movies. This actually made me want to see more U.N.C.L.E. adventures. Though more is not always a very good idea in Hollywoodland.
139. Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)* I am not a fan of horror movies. In fact, prior to this, I'd never seen a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. But (1) it was on tv, thus free, (2) Wes Craven just died, and (3) I vaguely remembered that this was a different kind of twist . . . what Wikipedia calls a "slasher metafilm." (So is that a thing now?) So I watched it. And? The acting varied from surprisingly bad to just plain awful. The story had all kinds of plot holes. And the special effects were quite inept. (Especially that Big Freddy in the Night Sky scene. Jesus!) But you know . . . it was still kind of intense, I have to admit. Especially Freddy's tongue. Yuck. I don't feel the need to ever see another one of these films, though, that's for sure. Sorry, Wes. But good effort.
P.S. Oh, yeah, the music really sucked, too.
140. Straight Outta Compton (2015)***** I think this movie just missed being great, but it's still a must see. For a lot of reasons. You should just trust me on this.
141. Rocky V (1990)* I was pretty sure that this was going to be bad, so I didn't see it for 25 years. (And I still haven't seen all of Rocky IV.) And wouldn't have watched it last night (1) if it hadn't been on free tv (often my downfall) and (2) my broken ribs hadn't been in such need of ice. And it was bad. The acting was amazingly awful, the story line just plain silly . . . there's really no reason to watch this thing. And I guess the movie-going public agreed with that assessment, as it was (at $119,946,358) the lowest grossing Rocky movie . . . though with a budget of $42 million it was by far the most expensive of the series . . . and still made a considerable amount of money. Waitaminute . . . $42 million? What the hell did they spend the money on? I guess that robot was more expensive than I thought. Oh, waitaminute, was the robot in this film? I don't have the will to go back and look.
142. Monkey Business (1952)**** Ginger Rogers and Cary Grant are high-larious in this movie. And Marilyn Monroe . . . lordy. It's easy to forget how amazingly hot she was until you actually watch one of her movies.
143. Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)**** I had forgotten what a funny motherfucker Cary Grant could be. Need more of this.
144. Black or White (2014)** Didn't expect much of this and didn't get a lot, but I did get something, so that's a nice surprise. Kevin Costner and Jillian Estell and Anthony Mackie (without wings) were all very good. And there was some nice moments about racial stereotyping from both directions. But Octavia Spencer was just kind of terrible, and since her role was key that took a lot out of the movie. And the stupid plot turns didn't help. And the ghost wife stuff was seriously stupid. Yeah, **.
145. Divirgent (2014)**** and 146. Insurgent (2015)****
First off, a bit kudos to redbox for the super-fab coupon. Two movies for two bucks . . . now that is a deal. And one of 'em was on Blu-ray (only because the dvd version was out--I could give a shit about Blu-ray, man). Joe and I had a little Veronica Roth movie party. I'd seen Divergent previously and was pretty impressed, but liked it even more this time. Wasn't actually wanting to see it at all at first. Figured it was just a rip-off version of The Hunger Games, and I didn't like that all that much. Read the first book and thought it was okay, but pretty much tired old shit if you've read science fiction for a few years. Did see and like the movies, but (1) mostly because of Jennifer Lawrence and (2) haven't paid to see any of them . . . and will be watching the penultimate one tonight or tomorrow (free Epix weekend, bra). And I've been thinking about it a little bit, and I think I can now say why Divergent is better than The Hunger Games.
Also, this Shailene Woodley chick is kind of hot, isn't she?
Oh, shit, waitaminute . . . Google, Google, Google . . . ah, born November 15, 1991 . . . that makes her almost 25. Whew. Yes. This Shailene Woodley chick is hot. Looks like a nice gal, too. Hope Hollywood doesn't beat that out of her.
147. The Big Chill (1983)***** Don't know how many times I've seen this movie, but definitely quite a few. And now it's 32 years old. Yet . . . I enjoyed completely and immensely. One of my all time favorites.
148. Soul Surfer (2011)***** One of Jacqueline's favorite movies. First time I've seen the whole thing from beginning to end, though. (I think.) But it's very touching, very inspiring. And of course it made me cry.
149. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part I (2014)** I read The Hunger Games. Didn't like it much. Same old same old if you've read any science fiction. And the premise is just pretty stupid, y'know? But I was pleasantly surprised by the first two movies. I think Jennifer Lawrence was so good that she made the movies work, despite the massive plot fail. But this third installment was just p-u. Not sure why, but I suspect it's because Jennifer's character was largely reduced to sniveling and crying throughout the majority of her scenes. Though bringing down a jet with a bow and arrow in one of her few non-sniveling moments didn't do anything to ameliorate my feelings for this movie. But I didn't have to pay for it (thanks, Epix free preview), so I'm glad of that. Still haven't paid to see one of these movies, matter of fact. Definitely going to keep that record intact for the final one.
150. Red (2010)** I do like me some Bruce Willis . . . and this certainly was BAD bad. Just same old shit, though. Why bother with that?
151. Maze Runner: Scorch Trials (2015)* It's really bad. Really, really bad. The worst part for me was seeing Alan Tudyk as "Blondie"--an amazingly stupid role in which he simpered and vamped and was a complete idiot. Oh, Wash, say it ain't so. But hey, the man's got to eat, so it's not like it's his fault. Oh, wait a minute. Celebrity Net Worth says he's got $2 million, so it is his fucking fault. How could he bring himself to do this fucking shit? As for the rest of the movie . . . zombies. Fast ones, but still zombies. No trials, actually, but plenty of scorch. Unexplained scorch. You'd think that by the time you were 2/3rds of the way through the series you'd have some inkling of what happened to fuck up the world . . . or at least what happened to dry up the San Francisco Bay. But no. Just lots of chase scenes. All of which were completely deflated by the trailer. Yep. Hated it. But it worked for Joe, so it was worth the endurance test.
152. Karen Cries on the Bus (2011) Hmmm. I disliked the lead character quite a bit several times. Like when she stole stuff from poor shopkeepers. And when she tricked a poor woman and her child into feeling sorry for her and giving her money. And when she ignored a crying woman who was sitting on the bus in the seat behind her--but that makes more sense after you watch the movie, so don't judge me yet. But there was some good stuff, too. So I make it at ***/. Yes, I'm making my first 1/2 score EVer. I think it's worth seeing. At least it gives you some things to think about and you see a character evolve a bit. More importantly, the film introduced me to something called filmmovement.com, which looks very interesting. You should check it out. Don't know if I'm going to be able to resist that shit.
153. The Cocoanuts (1929) Even the mighty mighty Marx Brothers can't put this one above the ** line for me. There were a few moments, of course, but they were buried in bullshit. There were at least four full blown musical numbers, for instance. I gave up concentrating on them and just rode the storm out, so I'm not really sure of the precise number. No, seriously. But Harpo still made me laugh, of course. Sorry to say not so much on Groucho, even though he is my favorite Brother. Got this from the library. It came with a dvd of "extras"--which turned out to be 15 minutes long . . . three separate interviews with Groucho, Harpo, and Harpo's eldest son. I think it was The Today Show, but I'm not taking the four steps across the room it would require to check. Yeah, disappointed a little. There was another movie in the package, too, but I am pretty sure I'm not going to bother with it. It's Animal Crackers . . . which I think is supposed to be okay, but I watched a few minutes of it t'other day before I nodded off, and it looked pretty suck-eee.
154. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)***
155. Goosebumps (2015)**
156. Mr. Robot: Season One (2015)****
157. Big Hero 6 (2014)****
158. Run All Night (2015)**** That's right. Don't hate. No, I wouldn't have expected that, either. But for a movie whose plot was through in two in the trailer, this was a powerful, moving, and inventive bit of cinema. Inventive in that there were several extraordinary shots. Light through fog by the lake, for instance. Beautiful. Several times shots which dollied back, then up and across the city, then dollied in on the new scene. Obviously cgi stuff, but it sure as hell didn't look like it. Moving . . . Liam Neeson, man. He has done way more than his share of shitty movies, but the man can bring it to the table sometimes. I actually felt myself filling up . . . mostly in the heart, but even a little bit in the eyes . . . on a couple of scenes. And Joel Kinnaman was pretty fucking awesome, too. All this and Ed Harris too? No, no, thank you. And powerful? Yes. In the end scene, my first thought was, "It's a shitty, brutal, terrible world . . . but there are still good people in it. There's something you don't see every day. So hear, hears all around. And I am thinking that the director, Jaume Collet-Serra, is definitely worth following. I might even go back and watch Non-Stop again, see if I nodded off and missed something. (I know I nodded off, just don't know if I missed something.) Word out.
159. Marvel & ESPN Films Present 1 of 1: Genesis (2014)**** Probably the un-catchiest title of all time, but this was a very interesting documentary which compares athletes to super-heroes. I was particularly taken with the part about how it is impossible for a batter to actually see a fast ball (or something like that). Good times.
160. The Last Witch Hunter (2015)* Holy shit, are they really going to make two more of these? This was so bad I don't even know where to begin. Looks like a lot of people agree, though, as to date it's only earned back about a third of its $90 million budget.
Can Michael Caine please have his job as Alfred back? He clearly needs a paycheck.
161. S.W.A.T. : Firefight (2011)*** Wasn't expecting much . . . or anything, for that matter . . . from this. Joe wanted to see it because he liked S.W.A.T. (2003). This one definitely lacked the firepower of the first so far as stars are concerned. I mean, we're talking Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, Michelle Rodriguez, LL Cool J, and Jeremy Renner in the first movie, Gabriel Macht and Robert Patrick in the "sequel"--so really no comparison at all there. Plus this wasn't even really a sequel, as there are no characters common to both movies. And this was a straight to video release. That said . . . it had its moments. nd I had no intention of watching it, but I still did, which says something. Far from a great movie, but no so far from a good one.
162. The Kidnapping of Michel Houellebecq (2014)***** This is SO my kind of movie. So odd, you spend the entire movie thinking, "What?" Kafka without the mass and density. And starring Michel Houellebecq, who seems to be on his way to being my latest obsession.
163. A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence (2014)
What the hell else are you going to watch after The Kidnapping of Michel Houellebecq? Too bad this is the third part of a trilogy and the other two parts are not to be found without great expense and trouble. Thanks for that cock tease, Netflix! Just when I was getting to love you.
164. Jessica Jones (2015)*** No bad as 11 hour movies go, and for the most part it held my attention, but (1) I thought they made some serious story errors along the way, (2) they went way too far in the gross out direction, especially in the last couple of episodes, and (3) they made the mistake of having a supporting character who was more interesting than the lead character--that being Luke Cage. I'm not sorry I saw it . . . but I don't really want any more, thank you.
165. The End of the Tour (2015)**** I wasn't even going to see this at first. In fact, I was pretty horrified when I first thought about it, and more horrified when I heard that Jason Segel was going to be David Foster Wallace. Not a fan. But Jimmy saw it and thought it was wort doing, so I planned to see it at Village 8. Missed it. So hello, REDBOX. And since Kroger has been giving out coupons for free rentals, hello free REDBOX. Which just happens to be my favorite variety. And I am really glad that I saw it. Jason Segel did a great job, actually, striking a nice balance between kind of autistic-y and not very nice and quite lovable. And the other fellah, Jesse Eisenberg, did a good job as David Lipsky. Which means that he was sometimes likable and sometimes a prick. Looking into David Foster Wallace's medicine chest, for instance. Yeah. Watching this made me want to read some David Foster Wallace. I might just have to do that.
166. Connections (1978)***** James Burke is one of my heroes. Way up there. His The Day the Universe Changed series--which I watched on television back in the day (1985) . . . and one episode of which I used on a regular basis during my teaching years--was just astounding. And so when I saw a VHS collection of Connections 2 at Half-Price Books for $3.00, of course I bought it. And watched and loved the first episode, but then the Completion Backwards Principle kicked in, and I wanted to see Connections (1) before watching 2. Looked for it on Netflix. I said no, no, no. Amazon? Of course. For $90. I said no, no, no. And then it occurred to me . . . the LFPL. Oh, yeah. And there was Connections. Got 'em. And then, in typical of me fashion, I watched the first couple and then moved on to other things. Always intending to get back to it, wanting to, even. Renewal. Renewal. And then no more renewals. Due today. So I pounded them down. Sorry to say that I didn't get 100% out of them, but I enjoyed them immensely. And I can always check them out again, right? But this is such great stuff. In addition to everything else, James Burke is a funny little motherfucker. I love him so.
| "Things almost always start with some guy doing something which, at the time, seems totally useless." |
167. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)** On the plus side, the movie looks great. That amazing black and white with the occasional splash of color. And the women . . . . Wow. Some intensely beautiful women, and a good bit of nudity, which I'm almost always in the mood for. And then there's Mickey Rourke and Bruce Willis, who are almost always on it. But this is such a bad movie. I am so glad that I didn't pay to see it. Part of it is the violence. It's just so extreme, so depraved. But the biggest part of it is this: what's the point? What do I gain from giving this movie two hours of my life? Eva Green 's tits are wonderful, but I don't need to trade two hours of my life for them. A lot of time, money, and talent was burned at the stake here.
168. Casino Royale (1954)***
169. Dr. No (1962)***
170. From Russia With Love (1963)***
171. Goldfinger (1964)**
172. Thunderball (1965)*
173. Casino Royale (1967)*
174. You Only Live Twice (1967)
175. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)-0
In case you haven't guessed, I am having a run at the James Bond movie franchise. A long blog entry on these viewings is in the works.
176. Minority Report: Season 1 (2015)**** One and only season, alas. I really don't get it. This show was good. So much better than Blindspot and iZombie, both of which are close parallels, and neither of which have even one half of the style of this show.
177. Metallica: Through the Never (2015)**
178. Creed (2015)***** Yeah, I know, we're all a little tired of Rocky Balboa. But this one really worked.
179. Kingsmen: The Secret Service (2014)* So many bad things about this movie. Samuel Jackson's lisp. The girl with the razor blade legs. The nasty, gory violence. The PlayStation action sequences. The inane plot. It was pretty much in-stop bullshit. Glad I didn't step in it.
180. Diamonds are Forever (1971)**
181. In the Heart of the Sea (2015)*** I really looked forward to seeing this movie, and I really wanted to like it. And there were parts of it that were very good, in that I-forgot-I-was-watching-a-movie way. And Chris Hemsworthshow is pretty. But I think the movie falls short mostly because of him. His wandering accent is just so fucking distracting that it constantly pulls you out of the story and makes your mantra, "Oh, yeah, he's Australian." It would've been better if he'd just stuck with his voice and let us adjust to it--like having Nazis speak English with German accents in World War II movies, y'know? Instead he constantly vacillates between something that is probably supposed to sound like a New England accent and the Australian thing. The special effects were really impressive. You'd think there were whales and starving men. And the movie did make me want to read some Melville again right quick, so there's that. And Brendan Gleeson was brilliant, of course, as the older Tom Nickerson. And I liked Ben Whishaw's portrayal of Herman Melville. (Is it just me, or is he the head of Anthony Perkis?
No? How about if we add a beard?
Well, anyway . . . I'm not sorry that I saw this movie, but maybe I wish I hadn't been so worked up for it. High expectations and all that, you know?
182. Point Break (1991)* Oh . . . this was bad in so many ways. The acting was truly horrific . . . like everybody was on speed or something.
183. Ricki and the Flash (2015)** One of the worst endings ever, but there actually were a few good moments along the way. I was surprised, as I really expected it to be terrible. One thing, though: I wonder what the point of this thing was. Maybe that's where the terrible ending comes in, as a good ending could have brought it all to a point. Instead, it's a movie about a sad loser who is more or less forgiven by her family for no good reason--she doesn't do nearly enough to deserve forgiveness for abandoning them. I almost got the feeling that it was a modern day moral which basically says if you make some half-assed effort it means all is forgiven . . . salvation à la mode and a cup of tea.
184. Fargo: Season 2 (2015)**** What an excellent show. Even better than the first season, which is saying something. And Ted Danson was wonderful.
185. A Night in Havana: Dizzy Gillespie in Cuba (1988)**** Hate to say it, because I love him dearly, but Dizzy was kind of irritating at times here. Mostly when he was singing, as (1) he really can't hold a tune and (2) he either makes up the worst lyrics ever or else he chooses songs with really bad lyrics. ("Swing low, sweet Cadillac," for gosh sakes. Really?) Lots of cool stuff here, too, though, both musically and historically. Dizzy hangs out with Fidel Castro. How cool is that? So worth putting up with the nits, I'd say.
186. The Soloist (2009)***** A stunning movie. Both Robert Downey, Jr. and Jamie Foxx were amazing. It's one of those rare films that actually makes you feel better about life . . . and it definitely doesn't soft-pedal the shit that life can be.
187. Kiss Me Deadly (1955)*** Bad in the way that old movies are bad--lots of overacting, mainly--but a fair amount of good stuff, too. And shot if full black and white, which I almost always love. Some early Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer. Pretty hard to completely miss when you have the character in front of the show. The ending of this movie has got to be the most bizarre noir finale ever. Also, there's an opening the suitcase scene which Quentin Tarantino was obviously fond of . . . since he stole it for Pulp Fiction. (Alex Cox stole it for Repo Man, too.)
188. Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)** Seriously . . . don't bother. It'll be on Netflix or Redbox soon enough.
189. Black Sea (2014)**** Best line: "They fired men like flushing shit down a toilet. Well... this time the shit is fighting back."
And how is it that Pretty Boy Jude Law ends up reminding me of Bob Hoskins in this movie? I think it's called act-ing. It's not just the haircut or the dour face, either. The voice, that thick, rough accent, that belligerent, dangerous tone. Occasionally softened by a bit of humanity. I've liked Jude Law before . . . especially in his Dr. Watson role . . . but I've never been impressed with him before. That all changed with Black Sea. Good movie, great acting.
190. Kareem: Minority of One (2015)***** An amazing story. And besides Karter Abdul-Jabbar, you also get a little Dr. Cornel. West, which is always a good thing.
Christmas . . . the time for watching shitty movies alone. So:
191. Santa's Little Helper (2015)**
192. Horrible Bosses (2011)**
193. The Internship (2013)**
All of these would have been * movies if not for (191) a good looking chick and a decent message, (192) Jennifer Aniston looking super-hot, and (193) a decent message. More or less. But they were all bad.
194. Beyond the Brick: A LEGO Brickumentary (2014)**** Everything wasn't awesome, but a lot of it was--especially the LEGO art, which was just stunning. Worth seeing, for sure.
195. Point Break (2015)** But it looked pretty. And watching these characters doing crazy shit just for giggles and even normal shit like wild parties made me think about life and what it's for for a minute. And I decided that for me, life is not for wild parties and doing crazy shit.
196. Ted 2 (2015)*** That's right, I liked it. It had enough ha ha for me.
197. Concussion (2015)***** Will Smith was amazing, and this is a really great movie for several reasons, the most important of which is simply the imperative, "Tell the truth. Tell the truth!" Fuckin' A, Bubba.
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