I Am Brother K's Echocardiogram

Not my first...but  I have only the faintest vestigial wisps of memories of the first one, so.... 

Just the Facts: 

It took about twenty minutes, there was no pain (although if I had any upper body hair there would have been--there are three leads taped to your chest, after all), and I was told that I'd get a call from my doctor tomorrow with the results, which seems pretty speedy. Also, I was given an IV in the second part of the procedure, but it didn't cause me any distress.

The Rest: 

I didn't like hearing my heartbeat as it was portrayed by the machine. It sounded watery and kind of metallic...almost the sound of a musical saw if you slowed it down a bit. And took off the high end.

During the procedure, the nurse had me lie on my side, and then she leaned over me, tucking my body up against her side. I have to confess that it was kind of sexy. Not in a boner kind of way, just in a very nice, comforting way. It made me miss women. Isn't there a thing where you can hire people to snuggle with you? I would think about doing that if (1) it wasn't too expensive and (2) the snuggler was kind of hot--but not too hot. 

Also, the nurse told me that she thought she had given me my previous echocardiogram--which was the only indication that I'd  had one before until the awful heartbeat sound reminded me that I had heard that previously--because she recognized my tattoos. And then when she put my IV in and saw my Shara Worden / Nova / My Brightest Diamond tattoo 

she tapped it and said, "Yes, I remember that tattoo." 

She also told me that I had nice, soft skin. Twice. She even asked me if I did anything in the way of lotions, etc. (I don't.) I had a brief "Is she flirting with me?" thought, then I remembered that I'm an old guy with No Shot at a hot young nurse, and I shut that shit down. (You'd be surprised at how easy it is to forget that stuff In The Moment.)

It also made me remember my last (both relative and absolute) real girlfriend, who was the first person to ever tell me that I had soft skin. It didn't exactly make me miss her, but it did make me think about her in a pleasant way. So that was nice.

Looking at the echocardiogram (which isn't easy to do, since you're facing away from the screen most of the time) was kind of weird...because (1) it's your fucking HEART, man! and (2) it looks a lot like the ultrasound of a baby. And in my case, my sick, fragile baby.

Mmm-hmmm.

Until tomorrow.