There he was: Tom Selleck, net worth $50 million. Whenever I see him these days I first feel a pang of nostalgia, remembering when I loved him, and then I switch the channel before he can give me the pitch for why grandpa should let the bank have the house.
Oh, waitaminute...grandpa's been dead for forty years. That bitch is talking to me!
I was getting ready to Tweet. Looked up his name to make sure I had the right spelling. And then I thought...oh, what the fuck. It's not like anybody is going to read this Tweet, anyway, right? And Tom gives fuck all about what some nobody in Louisville, Kentucky thinks about him. So why bother?
Which is ironic, since any of my Tweets gets five times the views that most of my blog entries have. But I wasn't intending to write a blog post, either. (Didn't I already do that?)
But then when I opened up my email, there was a banner ad with his smug fucking mug:
So game on.
You and Alex Trebek, Tom...you're just nasty shits. Using your fame to squeeze money out of older folks...most or all of whom don't have very much money to their names. (Why else would they be buying shittyass insurance policies and reverse mortgages?)
I wish that you would do something a bit more honest with your fame...like mug people on the street. (They'd only lose what they had on them then, not their entire estate.)
Or be like Joan Lunden and try to help people...to get services that they need...for fuckin' free, Tom.
I guess $50 million just isn't enough to keep the family fed, huh?
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