Good thing.
There are some big names involved here: Ray Bradbury, Ben Bova, Robert Silverberg, Harry Turtledove, Barry Malzberg, Fredrick Pohl, Poul Anderson, Hal Clement, Harry Harrison, Orson Scott Card...but alas, most of this stuff was pretty bad.
Here's how I saw it.
"Preface" by Ray Bradbury
...in which Ray says that he is nothing compared to Isaac Asimov. So...the guy who wrote Fahrenheit 451, The Martian Chronicles, The Illustrated Man, Something Wicked This Way Comes, and the screenplay for John Huston's 1956 Moby Dick is nothing compared to Dr. A? Well, I love Asimov...and I'd say he's a better science fiction writer than Bradbury, for sure...but for Bradbury to say he's nothing compared to Asimov is just mauvaise foi.
"The Nonmetallic Isaac or It’s a Wonderful Life" by Ben Bova
Ben Bova is a good writer. But this is a bad piece of writing, primarily based on a bad extended metaphor (short version: there's hydrogen, helium, and metals, and the metals = Isaac Asimov's non-fiction writings). Blah blah fucking blah.
"Strip-Runner" by Pamela Sargent
Have to admit I hadn't ever read anything by Pamela Sargent previously. After reading "Strip-Runner," I won't be going out of my way to read anything else by her. It's a very tedious story with virtually no connection to Asimov or Foundation, and I was very happy when I got to the last page. Partially just because I was finally through with it. Partially because of the name of the author on the next story:
"The Asenion Solution" by Robert Silverberg
Because I have spent some time with Mr. Silverberg, and I consider that time well spent. It's been awhile...and I wasn't keeping track of the books I read way back when...but I'd guess I've read at least a dozen books by the man, and enjoyed each one of them. And as it turns out, this was a good little story. It didn't have anything to do with the Foundation series, though, which I thought was the point of this anthology. Go figure. Anyway, it was good to see Robert Silverberg again.
"Murder in the Urth Degree" by Edward Wellen
I don't mean to be rude, but...why the fucking fuck is this story in this collection? I know Asimov wrote some mystery type stories, but this ineptly written thing is just an irritating waste of pages in this anthology...and needless to say it has absolutely nothing to do with Asimov's Foundation series. If they just wanted stories to honor Asimov, then I suppose that's fine, by why the hell entitle this book FOUNDATION'S Friends, then? If the stories don't get a lot better fast, I don't think I can make it through this book.
🌞"Trantor Falls" by Harry Turtledove
Well...this is the first story to feature an element of Foundation in the title. And the story? It wasn't great...and it was really just a bit of retrograde motion with respect to the Foundation timeline, in that it referred to things that had and things that will happen, but did not disturb anything in the timeline, which means that it was essentially non-essential. But still, it was a competent story, and it was actually about the Foundation series, so that makes it a first for this anthology. Who'd think that in a book entitled Foundation's Friends that you'd have to wait 100 pages for a story about Foundation?
"Dilemma" by Connie Willis
On the one hand, I've heard good things about Connie Willis and have been anxious to read something by her. On the other hand, the synopsis of this story on Wikipedia, which I accidentally read at a glance, seems to indicate that we're out of Foundation territory once again. And? Well, the story had nothing to do with Foundation, as I anticipated. But Connie Willis is a clever writer, and her affectionate (?) jabs at Asimov were pretty amusing. My favorite one (little spoiler) was the reference to Asimov's latest book (this is set in the future, and he's 94 years old) was to be Asimov's Guides to Asimov's Guides. Now, that's funny. And worth reading...which is pretty close to being a first in this collection.
"Maureen Birnbaum After Dark" by George Alec Effinger
I don't know if I've ever read anything by Effinger before, but I know that I don't want to read any more. This was a "humorous" story which was a different take on "Nightfall"--minus the humor. Effinger's idea of humor was to write a story which pretended to be pro-feminist by putting a warrior woman in the center of things, but then made her ridiculous, stupid, and, of course, scantily clad. There's even a moment when a guy she runs into touches her breast. A true waste of time.
"Balance" by Mike Resnick
Well...let's start with the positive: it was very short. For the negative? What a load of misogynistic tripe. I am hoping never to read anything else by Mike Resnick. What a punk ass bitch.
Ahem.
BTW...after reading this wretched thing I started wondering if anybody else out there thought that Mike Resnick was a misogynist, so I Googled Mike Resnick misogynist and you'll never guess what my first hit was:
So (1) I'm not alone in my assessment of Mr. Resnick, and (2) Uh-oh. How did Barry Malzberg get in here? And (3) isn't it strange that this online post pulled them together--even though I only searched for Mike Resnick--and that they're back to back in the Foundation's Friends anthology?
So...I read the post...written by one Rachael Acks, of whom I'd not previously heard...and I was actually (I'm passing on the obvious pun) impressed by what she'd written. And disappointed, because although I knew that Barry Malzberg had his flaws, I did not know that misogyny was one of them, but after reading what Rachael Acks had to say, it was pretty obvious. (And she supported her point by quoting Malzberg's own words, so there's no wiggle room on that.)
So now I'm not nearly as excited about reading a "new" Barry Malzberg story as I was before. Though of course I will, since I feel the need to complete this Foundation thing.
Damn internet. Always spoiling things.
"The Present Eternal" by Barry N. Malzberg
I caught a glimpse of this before I turned to the first page of the story, and for the first time since Connie Willis I felt a little excitement. I encountered Malzberg a long time ago, and I loved him dearly. The absolute weirdness of Beyond Apollo (which I reread not so long ago, and it still packed a big ass punch), and lots of other books. In fact, even as we speak (so to speak) there's a copy of The Sodom and Gomorrah Business sitting on my desk, waiting for me to finish reading Roots so I can get to it. I can't imagine Malzberg letting me down, so knowing it's there might give me the strength to keep reading the mud slog stories that stand between me and it. **
And?
Not only did this not have anything to do with the Foundation series ...so far as I could discern, it had nothing to do with Isaac Asimov at all. It was just a Barry Malzeberg story. And to top it off, it was a shitty Barry Malzberg story. I got the feeling that Barry just reached into his Unsold & Unsellable box and pulled this one out. As much as I want to finish this book...and the Foundation Series *, this was almost enough to make me give up and send the thing to the Little Library for someone else to suffer through. But I'm going to try to hang in there, for the sake of my OCD.
P.S. Turns out I was wrong on one count: this story is a sequel to an Asimov story entitled "The Dead Past." I'll bet you five dollars that the Asimov story doesn't suck as much as this sequel, though.
"PAPPI" by Sheila Finch
Never heard of Ms. Finch. Don't mind if I never hear of or from her again. Another Susan Calvin story, and not particularly bad, but not what I would call good, either. Just some pages and ink, and a meandering plot which dies with a whimper. My steam is running seriously low for this book.
"The Reunion at the Mile-High" by Frederik Pohl
But I have heard of Frederick Pohl, of course. And SURELY he wouldn't write a second-class story as an homage to his friend and peer, Isaac Asimov, right? Well...it was okay. A combination of remembrance of things past and alternate history. But the Good News is that the next story is by Poul Anderson. Poul Anderson!
"Plato's Cave" by Poul Anderson
Within a few lines, this story gave a description of Jupiter, and immediately I thought about Poul's story "Call Me Joe," which James Camerson shamelessly ripped off to make Avatar. (Google "poul anderson call me joe and Avatar movie" and you'll see that I'm far from alone in this belief.) Which immediately made me want to re-read "Call Me Joe." As for this story...it was good enough. Reminded me of the second Foundation trilogy by Gregory Benford, Greg Bear, and David Brin--1997 to 1999, and since Foundation's Friends was published in 1989, I guess we know who "borrowed" from whom as far as that's concerned. As for the story...it was okay, but I'm not breaking out the stationary and thinking of mom.
🌞"Foundation's Conscience" by George Zebrowski
This was a very minor story...just a few pages long, and the basic action is a guy researches Seldon's appearances. Not exactly a thrill ride. It was also one of those stories wherein it happens between known events in the larger storyline, so it doesn't disturb anything that came before or comes after. Pretty much a yawn.
"Carhunters of the Concrete Prairie" by Robert Sheckley
I don't know if I've read any Robert Sheckley before. I had the vague feelings that he was a guy who wrote with a "humorous" touch, and the title of this one seemed to indicate that that impression was true. And pretty much from the first sentence it was obvious that this characterization was true...if you equate "humorous" with this kind of sophomoric drive. And just to add insult to injury, this is a long story. Slog, slog, slog. And a long slog, as this story is 63 pages long. Sheesh. By the end of it, I had only one conclusion: I never want to read another word written by Robert Sheckley. Just sayin', sir.
"The Overheard Conversation" by Edward D. Hoch
A Black Widowers thing. Which is not my thing. And such an inconsequential mystery. I mean...really...an acrostic? Sheesh.
"Blot" by Hal Clement
I had high hopes for this one, having read a bit of Mission of Gravity and being impressed with it and desirous of finishing it up someday. (Started it when I had a Scribd subscription, but ended up dropping it, thus losing this book. Though I have since found that the public library has a copy, so it's on the list.) But as it turns out...(1) it has very little to do with Asimov, other than some references to the laws of robotics, and (2) the story just stopped. I mean...really. It just stopped. Like Hal got tired and got up to fix some toast, then forgot to come back. I was really frustrated, and when I saw that the next story was by Harry Harrison, I decided it was time to take a little leave of absence, and jumped ahead to read the Janet Asimov bit.
"The Fourth Law of Robotics" by Harry Harrison
And having put off Harry for almost as long as I could--because I could have read the Orson Scott Card first and left it for last, but since the OSC story was 90 (fuck!) pages long, I decided to buckle down like a Winsocki and just see what Harry wanted to do to me. And? Surprise, surprise, the HH story was really not bad at all. Yet another robot tale, but the "humor" was actually almost funny, the story was blissfully short, and it actually had an ending. This only leaves the OSC story now, and I'm hopeful, since the two books I have read by him (Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead) were both good. In fact, Speaker for the Dead was excellent. Plus it's a Foundation story. So here's hoping. 🤞🤞🤞
🌞"The Originist" by Orson Scott Card
My last story. And despite some distressing information about Orson Scott Card which intruded upon me partway through this story, I have to say that (1) this was an excellent story and (2) ending on this note actually made me feel like it was worth my time to read this anthology. But reference that list bit: it wasn't. Read this story, by all means. And read the other two Foundation stories if you are the kind of anal retentive ocd completist that I am. But forget the rest. There's nothing else here that is worth your time, and there's quite a bit which is nothing but loss."A Word or Two From Janet"by Janet Asimov
And this was okay-ish. Very short. Sincere. But, you know.
"Fifty Years" by Isaac Asimov
And this, too. Okay, glad that Asimov acknowledges that his work isn't on the same level as Dickens and Shakespeare, for sure, at least there's that. But there really wasn't enough here to get any traction out of. It was pretty much a whimper of an ending, I'm sorry to say.
So 3. Out of all these stories...3 of them actually had to do with the Foundation series. Good news for you Foundation Completists out there: You can skip this book. Or if you feel that you simply MUST, as I did, then you can save yourself a lot of time and just read the three 🌞 stories.
As for me, I was going to head right back into The Early Asimov, which I had been enjoying, but I think I need to have a little lie-down first.
For fuck's sake....
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* There are different ways of counting the pieces that constitute The Foundation Series...some of which include all of the Robot and Empire novels by Asimov. Wikipedia lists 18 works in the series. I can't go for that, no can do.
** Written before I did my Resnick Googling.
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