Iggy & Love

"In searching for a meaningful embrace sometimes my self-respect took second place...."

That's from "Cry For Love" by the inimitable Iggy Pop. I just bought a collection entitled The Many Faces of Iggy Pop--more on that coming soon to a blog near you--and the second track was an alternate version of "Cry For Love."

It wasn't all that alternative, but it's been awhile since I listened to that song, so the slight changes here helped me to hear it more vividly than I might otherwise have done. And you know...the thing about Iggy is that he has a way of saying things in such a straight-up, no hint of bullshit way that it borders on innocence. (Though I doubt that there are many people who would associate Iggy with innocence.)

I have been thinking about past relationships a lot lately. It's the Old Man Syndrome, for sure. As you near the end of your life, you start examining your past. So far as I can tell from my self and my friends, this is usually a cause for regret. You think about the things you did and shouldn't have. But more than anything else, you think about the things you didn't do and should have.

When I think of the ghosts of my women past, I often wonder why I let them get away with the shit that I let them get away with. But then I look at other relationships...some that I observe at close hand, others that I catch glimpses of as they pass me by in stores, etcetera... and I see that I am by no means the only man who put up with a whole lot of woman shit that in retrospect is pretty humiliating. So much so that I don't even know if self-respect made it to second place. 

And it's all fear, isn't it? Speaking hegemonically, you get caught up in it when you sacrifice your own self-respect because you fear that your loved one will leave you if you stand up for / assert yourself. 

And that's just sad, isn't it? Because anyone who would treat a partner in that way doesn't deserve to be in that relationship. Anyone who would treat a partner in that way is so self-absorbed that it borders on sociopathy. 

∴ to regret the loss of that relationship is really just allowing that person to continue to exert her control over you...even when she isn't there to give you at least some sliver of The Good to go with that juicy slab of Bad.

So I'm going to do my best not to let myself dwell on those "losses" anymore. Try to let my self-respect move into first place.

Thanks, Iggy.

Man, if I could go back in time with my Old Brain, I could do a really good job of being twenty years old now.

Einmal ist keinmal.