Not Your Mom's Apple Pie by Small Town Brewery

I don't always drink beer. In fact, I almost never drink beer. In fact, I dislike beer, and think "horse piss" every time I even look at a bottle. Not that I've ever tasted horse piss, you understand. 

HOWever . . . every little once in awhile I feel compelled to have a taste. Usually not more than once in a year or two. Literally. (In the literal sense of the world.) 

And when I was Krogering yesterday I spotted something called Not Your Mom's Apple Pie and it called to me. And I answered that call.

I got home hungry but wanted crab cakes, so as I waited for the oven to preheat I opened up one of my Fruit Beers & took a swig.

Oh.

Another swig.

My, my, my.

I finished it off and, lightweight drinker that I am, I felt the tingle in my soul that signifies incipient drunkenness. And then I did The Responsible Thing: I Googled to see how many calories were in it. 175. She-it. That seemed like an awful lot of calories. But it was so tasty. And, having felt the tenuous, first licks of inebriation on my tepid flesh, I reallyx wanted to be drunker. Soon. So I did the only thing I could do: I opened up another Fruit Beer.

Well, long story short: I drank four of them. 700 calories. Blew my Calorie Limit for the Day Goal all to hell. But I thought pretty hard about having a fifth one. The only thing that stopped me was that I was pretty drunk--yeah, I know, but hey, I'm a cheap date--and really tired. So I went to bed instead.

And now if I time it right (empty stomach, no pressing responsibilities), those other two just might put me back in Happy Land, so that's another win.

And y'know . . . I'm sure to be back at Kroger in the near near, and $10 isn't that bad for a little bit of happy, is it?

Mmm-hmm.