Mrs Creevy's Prayer for Schoolchildren

"Almighty and everlasting Father," they piped, "we beseech Thee that our studies this day may be graced by Thy divine guidance. Make us to conduct ourselves quietly and obediently; look down upon our school and make it to prosper, so that it may grow in numbers and be a good example to the neighbourhood and not a disgrace like some schools of which Thou knowest, O Lord. Make us, we beseech Thee, O Lord, industrious, punctual, and ladylike, and worthy in all possible respects to walk in Thy ways: for Jesus Christ’s sake, our Lord, Amen." 

A bit of perfection from George Orwell's A Clergyman's Daughter

P.S.  This post gets a lot of hits. Is it just The Orwell Factor? I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me a comment reference what brought you here. I won't publish it if you tell me not to.

Peggy Baker Park

 

The Book I'm Still Reading: In Memory Yet Green: The Autobiography of Isaac Asimov, 1920 - 1954.

I have great love for Isaac Asimov. So great that I've read dozens of his books over the course of my life, starting in Junior High School and continuing on until today. In fact, for the past three years or so, I've read a bit of an Asimov book or a book very closely related to Asimov (e.g. The Second Foundation Series by Benford, Bear, & Brin) every day. And perhaps even more evidence of the aforementioned love: I've been reading the first volume of his autobiography, In Memory Yet Green, for the past half a year or so. (Literally a few pages per day. I'm not fast, but I'm not that slow.)

Today I'm about 100 pages from the end of this 732 page behemoth, and one of Asimov's anecdotes stopped me. He talks about his second kidney stone...which was the first that he actually knew was a kidney stone...and after receiving treatment for pain (a shot of morphine), he says, "While I was sedated, the kidney stone stopped doing whatever it had been doing to cause the pain." (609) * I was astounded. At this point in time, Asimov was thirty years old, had a Ph.D. in chemistry, and was an instructor of biochemistry at Boston University School of Medicine. And yet he didn't know what kidney stones did that caused pain? And one could assume that he hadn't learned anymore about it almost 30 years later, as this book was published in 1979. 

Wow.

Just goes to show you that you can be really, really smart in some ways...and really, really stupid about other things. 

P.S. BTW...and JiC...think about it this way: a straw is your ureter. A pea is the kidney stone. Now imagine that that pea is wrapped in barbed wire and shove it down the straw. THAT's what causes the pain.

P.P.S. Yes, I've had about 15 of them. I don't recommend it.

* I know. But the text of the book ends on page 708.

Roe v Wade

Just got home after a hectic, news-less morning and turned on the tv only to find that the Supreme Court had voted to overturn Roe v. Wade. 

I know that we all saw this coming from a long way off, but I'm still stunned.

The United States of America is now one of the few developed countries that denies a woman the right to choose. (Check out the map at https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/06/the-countries-where-even-rape-victims-can-t-get-abortions/ .)

I think about the women I have known in my life. Of the four major romantic relationships I've had in my life, three of those women were raped. If they'd become pregnant from those attacks, there are some states in which they would be forced to bear those babies. One of those states in my very own Kentucky.

So in the past few days the Supreme Court has made it easier to carry concealed weapons...in the midst of a mass shooting epidemic...and taken a right away from women which has been in place for 50 years. 

And it is certainly not the end. This country is headed backwards at one hundred miles per hour. I'm old enough that it won't have much of an effect on me, but I fear for my children.

The Complete Charles Dickens

 The Centennial Dickens, Published in 36 Volumes by Heron Books

Public Domain

Illustration by Fred Bernard of Dickens at work in a shoe-blacking factory after his father had been sent to the Marshalsea, published in the 1892 edition of Forster's Life of Charles Dickens.

I don't know if I have it in me to make this 36 Volume Journey, but I'm going to give it a try, at least...starting with The Novels, in chronological order. Red numbers indicate that IMHO, these books are not worth your time. (Or mine--but I had to read 'em to know that, didn't I?)

Thus:

1. The Pickwick Papers Volume I

2. The Pickwick Papers Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/05/ddr-pickwick-papers-by-charles-dickens.html

3. Oliver Twist

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/06/ddr-oliver-twist-by-charles-dickens.html

4. Nicholas Nickleby Volume I

5. Nicholas Nickleby Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/07/ddr-life-and-adventures-of-nicholas.html

6. The Old Curiosity Shop Volume I

7. The Old Curiosity Shop Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/08/ddr-old-curiosity-shop-by-charles.html

8. Barnaby Rudge Volume I

9. Barnaby Rudge Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/08/ddr-barnaby-rudge-by-charles-dickens.html

10. Master Humphrey's Clock * (which is the second half of a volume which also includes the unfinished The Mystery of Edwin Drood)

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/09/ddr-master-humphreys-clock.html

The Mystery of Edwin Drood (which was my final Dickens read...and also the last thing he wrote--but, alas, did not finish)

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/08/ddr-mystery-of-edwin-drood.html

11. Martin Chuzzlewit Volume I

12. Martin Chuzzlewit Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/09/ddr-martin-chuzzlewit-by-charles-dickens.html

13. American Notes / Pictures From Italy **

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/10/ddr-american-notes-by-charles-dickens.html

&

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/11/ddr-pictures-from-italy-by-charles.html

14. Christmas Stories Volume I ***

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/11/a-charles-dickens-christmas-project.html

15. Christmas Stories Volume II ****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/11/charles-dickens-christmas-project-aka.html

16. Christmas Books ****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/12/ddr-christmas-books-by-charles-dickens.html

Interpolation: The Annotated Christmas Carol: A Christmas Carol in Prose by Michael Patrick Hearn 

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/12/ddr-annotated-christmas-carol-christmas.html

17. Dombey and Son Volume I

18. Dombey and Son Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2022/12/ddr-dombey-son-volume-i-by-charles.html

19. Sketches by Boz Volume I ****

20. Sketches by Boz Volume II ****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/01/ddr-sketches-by-boz-by-charles-dickens.html

21. David Copperfield Volume I 

22. David Copperfield Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/02/ddr-david-copperfield-by-charles-dickens.html

23. The Uncommercial Traveller *****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/03/ddr-uncommercial-traveller-by-charles.html

24. A Child's History of England *****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/03/ddr-childs-history-of-england-by.html

25. Reprinted Pieces *****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/03/ddr-reprinted-pieces-by-charles-dickens.html

26. Miscellaneous Papers Volume I *****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/04/ddr-miscellaneous-papers-volume-i-by.html

27. Bleak House Volume I 

28. Bleak House Volume II

29. Miscellaneous Papers Volume  II *****

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/04/ddr-bleak-house-by-charles-dickens.html

30. Hard Times 

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/05/ddr-hard-times-by-charles-dickens.html

31. Little Dorrit Volume I

32. Little Dorret Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/06/ddr-little-dorrit-by-charles-dickens.html

33. A Tale of Two Cities 

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/07/ddr-tale-of-two-cities-by-charles.html

34. Great Expectations 

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/07/ddr-great-expectations.html

35. Our Mutual Friend Volume I

36. Our Mutual Friend Volume II

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/08/ddr-our-mutual-friend-by-charles-dickens.html

Interpolation: Dickens and Kafka by Mark Spills

https://songsofinnocenceampexperience.blogspot.com/2023/09/ddr-coda-dickens-and-kafka-by-mark.html

Looks like I did have it in me after all. 

So for me, 15 of the 36 Volumes were not worth reading...but the other 21 Volumes were pretty excellent. Not a bad batting average.

* Which is not a novel, but a collection of short stories. When I learned that both The Old Curiosity Shop and Barnaby Rudge were first published in the periodical Master Humphrey's Clock, and that the stories in that periodical were somewhat entwined with the former novel, I decided to diverge from the Novel Path and pick this one up.

** Also not a novel. After reading Martin Chuzzlewit, I decided to take a turn into non-fiction, since (1) the American Journey in the aforesaid novel was based on the journey delineated in American Notes and (2) this travelogue was composed in approximately the same time frame as the novel. Also, Martin Chuzzlewit was so bad that I felt that I needed a break, and did not want to break from Dickens in my Daily Devotional Reading program, hence....

*** Still not a novel. Looks like I've decided to try to read all of the non-novel books as well.

**** I don't even have to say it, do I?

***** Nope.

Applying for Medicare, OR Does Medi CARE? A Public Service Announcement From One Who Has Trod That Road

Well...to answer that (⬆) question, I'm SURE that there are some... nay, MANy Medicare employees who do CARE. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that (1) they know what they're doing or (2) you will ever run into one of them.

So I thought I'd throw out a Public Service Announcement blog entry just in case there's anyone Out There who is soon turning 65 so that s/t/he/y can at least avoid some of the potholes that I hit on this road.

First and foremost, your window to apply for Medicare starts three months before your birthday. Actually a little bit more than that. If your birthday is not on the first of the month, you can apply starting on the first of the month three months before your birthday. And if your birthday is on the first of the month, you can apply four months before your birthday. (If your birthday is June 1, your enrollment window opens on February 1.) You also have a three month window after your birthday, but I would strongly suggest that you not go there, as nothing in this application process is particularly simple...and nothing happens at any speed greater than glacial.

Okay?

Okay. You'e already ahead of me, since I didn't know this until I stumbled upon the information.

It starts with a My Social Security Account. If you don't have an account, you're going to need to set one up. Yes, I know: you'd think that you'd need to set up a Medicare Account. But the trick is that you can't do that until you have a Medicare Number, and you can't get that until you have one of these:

And where do you get that? You guessed it, from your My Social Security Account. 

The process for applying for Medicare Parts A and B is pretty simple, but there's one catch: one of the questions they ask is if you are covered by any other insurance policy. I almost answered YES, because I am, but then I realized that I was dealing with a government entity, and I stopped and called Social Security. After a rather lengthy wait (I've been on hold for hours in the past, so brace yourself and have a beverage prepared) I was able to talk to a woman who told me that I should answer NO, because what the question meant was Are you covered by any other insurance policy AFTER you turn 65 / go on Medicare. Now, why the heck didn't they put that in the question? I don't know. But I do know that if you answer this question incorrectly, you get sent down a completely different rabbit hole, and I don't know how (or if) you get back from there.

Okay. After you finish up, you just have to wait. It took about a week for me, and I think I got an email to confirm that I was IN. 

At which point I thought I could go back to my Social Security Account, get my Medicare Number, and start applying for an Advantage Plan...because you can't do that until you've been accepted by Medicare and have taken care of signing up for Parts A (Hospital Insurance) and B (doctors' services, outpatient care, and other medical services that Part A doesn't cover). *

I searched every nook and cranny of that website. I couldn't find my number, just the indication that I would get my card "soon." As in maybe in a month. I was way too nervous to wait that long...and my faith in the USPS isn't what it used to be. So I called Social Security and asked how I could find my Medicare number online. And I was told by a very nice guy that he "thought it was on there somewhere," but he didn't know where. I searched some more. Nothing. Finally, I found a place on the Medicare website where I could do a Live Chat. So I did that. Here's how it went.

[4:34:32 pm]: Thank you for contacting Medicare.gov Live Chat.

[4:34:35 pm]: Brother K. 
I will turn 65 soon, and I have been approved for Medicare. I have not yet received my card, however, and am anxious to apply for the Advantage Plan offered by -----. To do so I need my Medicare number. Can I find this number online?

[4:34:35 pm]: Please wait while you are connected to an agent.

[4:34:44 pm]: You are now connected with Medicare.gov Live Chat.

Thank you for contacting Medicare.gov Live Chat. My name is M. For privacy purposes, please do not disclose any personal information such as your Social Security Number, Medicare ID, or any other sensitive medical or personal information.

[4:35:00 pm]: Brother K
Okay.

[4:36:37 pm]: M

I will be happy to assist

[4:36:44 pm]: Brother K

Thank you.

[4:37:49 pm]: M

You can call into Medicare to get your number.

[4:38:19 pm]: Brother K

I called previously and they would not give me the number. Can you tell me which number to call?

[4:39:11 pm]: M

Call, (800) 772-1213

[4:39:37 pm]: Brother K

Thank you, I'll try again.

[4:39:52 pm]: M

Thank you for contacting Medicare.gov Live Chat. We are here to help you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

[4:39:58 pm]: M

Left the session

So that seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it? I called the number M had given me. And my Caller ID identified it as...🥁🥁🥁...Social Security. So of course I hung up. 

I went back to the Medicare website and hidden away at the bottom of the page under the Take Action heading was a link entitled  Talk to someone.  Clicking on that gave you the option to Live Chat (no thank you) or to call at 1-800-MEDICARE. I bated my breath and called.

I talked to a guy who said that he couldn't give me my Medicare number, but that he could transfer me to a higher up person who could. He also asked me if I had heard about the Benefit Verification Letter from Social Security. I avowed that I had not heard of that, and he told me that he would send it to me. He then transferred me to the higher up person. She said that she could indeed give me the number, and told me to log in to my Social Security account. I sighed and did as I was told. She then told me to go to Benefits and look for...you guessed it...the Benefit Verification Letter from Social Security. I was dubious, as I knew that this had not been there when I'd searched the site previously...but lo and behold, there it was. Apparently when the first guy I talked to had said he was going to send me that letter he meant through email. (Which is surprising, since there are very few things that Social Security does which are indicative of any presence in or even knowledge of the 21st Century.)

I opened the letter and there in the body of it was my very own Medicare number.

Ta Da.

So that's how you do it.

If you don't want to wait for the post office to deliver a flimsy paper card, make sure that you request a Benefit Verification Letter from Social Security.

And then you can go set up your Medicare Account. 

No, no, thank YOU.

* And if you're wondering...yes, there are also Parts C and D. C is Medicare Advantage, which includes Parts A and B and adds prescription drug coverage and vision and dental...maybe. Read the fine print. When I looked at this plan, I thought it was pretty lousy coverage. You can look at many other plans from regular health care vendors. Judging between them is a nightmare, so I'd suggest you get hold of an independent agent and let them do the navigating for you. You don't pay for this service, which makes it a little more savory. (The agents are paid by the insurance company.) And Part D is prescription drug coverage. There are some other Parts, but so far as I can tell they are now extinct. There is also Medigap Coverage, which helps to pay for your share of the Medicare stuff, since there are copays to deal with. 

DDR: Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

Wikipedia tells me that this novel was first entitled Oliver Twist, or, The Parish Boy's Progress. It also lists the publication dates of the monthly installments of the serial, which were

I – February 1837 (chapters 1–2)

II – March 1837 (chapters 3–4)

III – April 1837 (chapters 5–6)

IV – May 1837 (chapters 7–8)

V – July 1837 (chapters 9–11)

VI – August 1837 (chapters 12–13)

VII – September 1837 (chapters 14–15)

VIII – November 1837 (chapters 16–17)

IX – December 1837 (chapters 18–19)

X – January 1838 (chapters 20–22)

XI – February 1838 (chapters 23–25)

XII – March 1838 (chapters 26–27)

XIII – April 1838 (chapters 28–30)

XIV – May 1838 (chapters 31–32)

XV – June 1838 (chapters 33–34)

XVI – July 1838 (chapters 35–37)

XVII – August 1838 (chapters 38–part of 39)

XVIII – October 1838 (conclusion of chapter 39–41)

XIX – November 1838 (chapters 42–43)

XX – December 1838 (chapters 44–46)

XXI – January 1839 (chapters 47–49)

XXII – February 1839 (chapter 50)

XXIII – March 1839 (chapter 51)

XXIV – April 1839 (chapters 52–53)

And the cover of the first installment looked like this:

Public Domain

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Twist)

And speaking of that monthly serial version of the novel, check this out:

That's right, it can be yours. 

But I'll be sticking with the Heron Books version of Oliver Twist in THE CENTENNIAL DICKENS.

And speaking of that, I just saw that my beloved Thrift Books has a copy of this edition on sale for $28.89. A little steep, but look how nice it looks:

And I have nothing but love for Thrift Books, but I sure as hell wouldn't pay that price for this book. I'd be willing to bet that by the time you finished reading it, the cover would have deteriorated so much that the spine would be it tatters. 

I could be wrong. But I'm going to see how it goes with my copy. Here's today's look:

We'll see how it goes from there.

Ahem. Okay, here we go:

Oliver Twist is xxxi + 511 = 542 pages, so it will probably take me between 18 to 27 days to read it.

Some items of interest for this stretch of the Dickens Road: the  Oliver! musical from 1968. Also Oliver the comic book by Gary Whitta, which re-imagines Oliver Twist as a post-apocalyptic superhero. (Available from  hoopla , by the way.) And then, of course, there are a shit ton of move adaptations, amongst them

Oliver Twist (1909 film)

Oliver Twist (1912 American film)

Oliver Twist (1912 British film)

Oliver Twist (1916 film)

Oliver Twist (1919 film)

Oliver Twist (1922 film)

Oliver Twist (1933 film)

Oliver Twist (1948 film)

Oliver and the Artful Dodger (1972)

Oliver Twist (1974 film)

Oliver Twist (1982 Australian film)

Oliver Twist (1982 TV film)

Oliver & Company (1988)

Oliver Twist (1997 film)

Oliver Twist (2005 film)

Day 1 (DDRD 1,695) June 22, 2022

Read to page XXXI. Which isn't really 31 pages, but it's close enough for me. It's been a rough day. So I'll begin the novel proper tomorrow.

Meanwhile, here are some things from the Introduction (written by Humphrey House) I thought worthy of noting:

Oliver Twist was "finished and published in three volumes in November 1838, before the serial publication was complete." (VIII)

Which is kind of weird. Apparently Dickens also started it before he was finished serializing The Pickwick Papers, and hadn't finished it by the time he started serializing Nicholas Nickleby. I guess it's not surprising to find out that Charles Dickens died from overwork, is it.

Also, Oliver Twist was "a novel which permanently affected the range, status, and potentialities of fiction." (X) 

So that raises the stakes a bit, dun nit?

And lastly, here's the text for the 36th chapter of Oliver Twist:

XXXVI   IS A VERY SHORT ONE, AND MAY APPEAR OF NO GREAT IMPORTANCE IN ITS PLACE, BUT IT SHOULD BE READ NOTWITHSTANDING, AS A SEQUEL TO THE LAST, AND A KEY TO ONE THAT WILL FOLLOW WHEN ITS TIME ARRIVES

You've just got to love this guy, don't you?

In other news...I was just lookin' 'round, and look what I found:

Don't do it, kids. Unless you want to do it with me, because I will mos def sell you my Complete Dickens set for $967.34. 🤙

Day 2 (DDRD 1,696) June 23, 2022

Read to page 26 (end of Chapter III). And wow...what a hideously tragic start for little Oliver. I would have continued reading, but Dad Duties are about to occur, and I'll have some inescapable wait time in the near future, so I'll get back to it then.

Meanwhile, I'm remembering Dr. Elliot Engels' "The Dickens Nobody Knows" again...and thinking that Dr. EE blew some smoke on Oliver Twist as well. I tried to find it online to verify that my memory of the lecture was correct, but was unsuccessful...and I have no idea where my copy of it is now. So from memory then: I recall that The Good Doctor talked about how once Dickens was finished with The Pickwick Papers he said something along the lines of, "Now that I've made everyone laugh, I will write a novel which will make everyone cry." Well, that doesn't seem to be true...or at least not completely true. Dickens started writing Oliver Twist before he had finished The Pickwick Papers. Perhaps it is true that the reception of Pickwick had already been resoundingly affirmed, but that's not the way EE presented it. Oh, wait a minute...just found a video. And my memory was correct. Even more specifically, EE claims that

"Everybody runs out in October to buy the first three chapters of Oliver...."

Well. Referring to the list of serial publication above, the first installment of Oliver Twist was released in February, not October. And it contained the first two chapters of the novel, not three.

And btw, according to Wikipedia, the final installment of The Pickwick Papers "XIX-XX...(chapters 53–57)" was published "October 1837." (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pickwick_Papers)  So you can see where Dr. EE got his misinformation.

Which isn't a big deal, of course, but you have to wonder: if the guy gets the small details wrong, can you trust him on the rest of it?

Day 3 (DDRD 1,697) June 24, 2022

Read to page 71 (end of Chapter VIII).

"...he wished, as he crept into his narrow bed, that that were his coffin, and that he could be lain in a calm and lasting sleep in the churchyard ground, with the tall grass waving gently above his head, and the sound of the old deep bell to soothe him in his sleep."

"The shop-boys in the neighbourhood had long been in the habit of branding Noah in the public streets, with the ignominious epithets of “leathers,” “charity,” and the like; and Noah had bourne them without reply. But, now that fortune had cast in his way a nameless orphan, at whom even the meanest could point the finger of scorn, he retorted on him with interest. This affords charming food for contemplation. It shows us what a beautiful thing human nature may be made to be; and how impartially the same amiable qualities are developed in the finest lord and the dirtiest charity-boy."

I'm not crying. You're crying.

Day 4 (DDRD 1,698) June 25, 2022

Read to page 100.

This is a pretty tragic book, but Dickens injects moments of his bizarre sense of humor. This, for instance:

"If he were really not in the habit of drinking rather more than was exactly good for him, he might have brought an action against his countenance for liable, and have recovered heavy damages." (88)

The idea of a man suing his face because it makes him look like a drunkard is pretty freakin' strange. I like that in a man.

Day 5 (DDRD 1,699) June 26, 2022

Read to page 130.

So far as my experience goes, there are always incredible coincidences to put up with in Dickens. Looks like the first of them has cropped up in Oliver Twist on page 102: when Oliver is taken in by a kindly gentleman and put to bed to recover from his illness, he awakens beneath a picture which bears a startling resemblance to himself. Nothing is revealed beyond that for now, but it seems pretty obvious that this is a picture of his mother, and that the kindly gentleman who took him in is his father. I could be wrong...but I sincerely doubt it. And if that is what's going on, then that is quite an impossible coincidence. Oliver just happens to be arrested (for something he didn't do), the gentleman who was robbed just happens to follow him to the jail and rescue him when he falls ill, and this gentleman just happens to be his father. Sigh. But that's what happens in Dickens. And maybe in all of Victorian literature. And even to this day, as in many movies, tv shows, and books the plot absolutely relies on impossible to believe coincidences. Add to that stew the fact that what I would consider impossible coincidences happen to me on a very regular basis, though, and what do you have then?

In other news, one of the little scoundrels in this book is named Charley Bates, and he is referred to 50 times in the novel as Master Bates. (Not a guess, not hyperbole: I used a text search.) There's no doubt that Dickens was aware of the word, so you have to wonder what his motive was there. Just having fun, I suppose.

In other news, a character is introduced who makes many references to eating his own head. As here:

“Look here! do you see this! Isn’t it a most wonderful and extraordinary thing that I can’t call at a man’s house but I find a piece of this poor surgeon’s friend on the staircase? I’ve been lamed with orange-peel once, and I know orange-peel will be my death, or I’ll be content to eat my own head, sir!”

This was the handsome offer with which Mr. Grimwig backed and confirmed nearly every assertion he made; and it was the more singular in his case, because, even admitting for the sake of argument, the possibility of scientific improvements being brought to that pass which will enable a gentleman to eat his own head in the event of his being so disposed, Mr. Grimwig’s head was such a particularly large one, that the most sanguine man alive could hardly entertain a hope of being able to get through it at a sitting—to put entirely out of the question, a very thick coating of powder.

There are many other references to this eating of his own head in this chapter...at least a dozen. (An automated search was impossible due to the fact that the wording changed a bit.) Another example of just how weird Dickens could be. 

And, again, I like it.

P.S. I was doing a bit of straightening out on my comics yesterday, and I happened upon five issues of a thing called The Bozz Chronicles--which was a six issue Epic Comics series by David Michelinie and Bret Blevins. I picked up those issues from Half-Price Books at 50¢ a shot, and since I was missing issue #2, I set it aside to wait and see if that little sheep would turn up. If it did, I'd forgotten all about it. But I decided to have a little look, and read the first issue. It was okay-ish. Victorian England. Hooker with big boobs which were showcased as much as possible. Big yellow alien who apparently had a massive penis, though that was not shown--even though he preferred to walk around naked. So I read the third issue. And lo and behold...

Yep. Kid named Ollie. Part of a kid gang in Victorian England. Sorry about the bad lighting--I was too lazy to look for better.

Day 6 (DDRD 1,700) June 27, 2022

Read to page 161.

Had this bit, which completely stumped me:

“What do you mean by this?” said Sikes; backing the inquiry with a very common imprecation concerning the most beautiful of human features: which, if it were heard above, only once out of every fifty thousand times that it is uttered below, would render blindness as common a disorder as measles: “what do you mean by it? Burn my body! Do you know who you are, and what you are?” (143)

So I went Googling. The answer I found which makes sense is that Sikes said, "God blind me!" Apparently it was a common vulgarity, and could also take the form of gorblimey (or gor blimey, or cor blimey) which was the Cockney way of avoiding trouble with the third commandment.

One of the things I love about Dickens is that he intrudes so extravagantly into the story. For instance, at the start of one chapter (XVII) he says,

"It is the custom on the stage, and all good murderous melodramas, to present the tragic and the comic scenes, in as regular alternation, as the layers of red and white in a side of streaky bacon." (146) He then spends three paragraphs discussing this "alternation" and its efficacy. It seems very modern, very Meta.

Have to say that as this point I am thoroughly caught up in Oliver's story, and only stopped reading this morning because Dad Duties had to be done.

Day 7 (DDRD 1,701) June 28, 2022

Read to page 190. Which is not even halfway through the book, and yet...

And, again, I'm not being rough with these books at all. This is just what happens as you read them. The seams on the front and back split, then the spine pulls away and falls off.

Fucking Heron Books.

Day 8 (DDRD 1,702) June 29, 2022

Read to page 224.

The story is getting even more exciting as Oliver is pulled into a life of CRIME, and Mortal Harm comes to him!

As for the book binding...things are getting worse.

I don't think that outer spine piece is going to be able to hang on for another 287 pages. And I hasten to add (again) that I am in no way mistreating or even being rough with this book. I'm just reading it. These things are just so shoddily made that they disintegrate. And true, they are old...52 years old...but I've got books that are over 100 years old that are in better shape. I think Heron Books just went shoddy on this. What a shame to treat Charles Dickens that way.

P.S. Averaging almost 30 pages per day in OT, so probably be finished in a week and a half. (And then it's Nicholas Nickleby...the third Dickens that I've not previously read.)

Day 9 (DDRD 1,703) June 30, 2022

Read to page 258 (end of Chapter XXVIII).

Day 10 (DDRD 1,704) July 1, 2022

Read to page 300. 

Here's another thing I love about Charles Dickens:

"Talking all the way, he followed Mr Giles up stairs; and while he is going upstairs, the reader may be informed, that...." (262)

The way Dickens acts like he is just dipping in and out of the characters' lives...as if they just go on without him when he's not focused on their part of the story...it's just hilarious. 

Also, this:

I'm guessing there are not a whole lot of Classics which contain the word stupid-head. Maybe something by Beckett.

In other news, the book was looking rough early on today...

And then it gave way:

Just in case I haven't said it before...FUCK HERON BOOKS!

And in Other Other News, I was at The Great Escape today and looked for issue #2 of The Bozz Chronicles. Nope. I guess I'll never finish reading that series...'cause I'm sure not going to spend $20 to get the trade paperback. 

Day 11 (DDRD 1,705) July 2, 2022

Read to page 341 (the end of Chapter XXXVII).

Mr. Bumble is not a completely unsympathetic character. Certainly he was not the most sensitive fellow, but he seemed to have some kind of moral center, and was not relentlessly cruel to Oliver earlier on. Now we see him in quite a different position. After wooing and winning a wife, he has been considerably reduced. To wit: "...he had fallen from all the height and pomp of beadleship, to the lowest depth of the most snubbed henpeckery." (336)

Which no doubt tells you something about Dickens' attitude towards women, especially in terms of marriage. It's kind of funny...because let's face it, boys, we all sense that there's a bit of truth in this, don't we? 

In other news:

It strikes me that there are two topics that have popped up repeatedly in both of the Dickens novels I've read: fat men and nightcaps. And the nightcaps have consistently been objects of embarrassment, as in someone is seen wearing a nightcap and is embarrassed about it and seeks to remove it as soon as possible. Oh, three topics: prisons. It'll be interesting to see if that continues through his other novels...the way the Vienna, bears, and wrestling seem to run through Jonhn Irving's novels. 

And in other other news: 

Well, ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find time. Yesterday I was bemoaning the fact that I would probably never finish reading The Bozz Chronicles because I didn't think I'd ever find  Issue #2 at a price I would be willing to pay...and I didn't want to throw down $20 for the collection--especially not since I already had the four of the five issues. And today? I went into Half-Price Books, and...

I am starting to think I should wish harder for a million dollars. ANYway...got it home, read it, and...well, at least I have the satisfaction of having finished reading the series. I wouldn't recommend that you do the same, though. (But if you really feel that you must, I'd be willing to sell The Complete Series for a mere $20. 🤙.)

170 pages to go now...and I've been reading this one at an average of almost 34 pages per day, so if I maintain that pace, that's just another five days until it's Nicholas Nickleby time. Very exciting! (And obviously my Dickens Love has not yet ebbed.)

Day 12 (DDRD 1,706) July 3, 2022

Read to page 378 (end of Chapter XLI). 

Day 13 (DDRD 1,707) 🎆🦅July 4, 2022🦅🎆

Read to page 410. Which means...🥁🥁🥁...I'm just a hair under 100 pages to go now. 

Day 14 (DDRD 1,708) July 5, 2022

Read to page 450. So theoretically I could finish this book tomorrow. And as a matter of fact, I do hear Nicholas Nickleby calling me. Hmmm. 

I've been reading (re-reading...but it has ben almost half a century since my first read, so it makes me feel brand new) Harlan Ellison's Memos From Purgatory on the side, and last night I came across this:

Whoomp! (There It Is).

Day 15 (DDRD 1,709) July 6, 2022

Read to page 494 (end of Chapter LI). And yes indeed, I could have finished. But it was a bad day. And I didn't. So tomorrow, the.

Day 16 (DDRD 1,710) July 7, 2022

Read to page 509...actually 511, as they snuck in a page with 3 notes. There'd been no indication in the text that there were any notes, so I thought this was a pretty shabby way of doing things, but hey, nobody asked me.

This was a most excellent novel. Of course it did rely on some preposterous coincidences...none of which were necessary in that there were other ways of getting to the plot points that would have been far more realistic and believable (assuming that those two imposters are not always the same), but hey, that's Dickens for you. And most literature, actually. But the story of Oliver was most interesting and engaging, the secondary (etcetera) characters were well-drawn (some of the best in the Dickens bestiary, actually, what with Fagin and The Artful Dodger amongst them), and there was a real, palpable hit in the thematic concerns. I'd also say that in this novel, Dickens takes it a step farther in terms of stark realism than I would have believed possible at this time in the history of literature. I've certainly not encountered much like this before, what with the murder of a young woman by bludgeoning. The only thing I can think of that comes off in like manner is the murder of the pawnbroker in Crime and Punishment. (Yes, the Dickens murder is very much of like kind in terms of graphic description.) For all of his sardonic jibes and comic buffoonery, CD can get down to the nitty gritty as well as the best of them. 

Due to various circumstances (two of which were a staggeringly effective glass of Mark & Digger's Hazelnut Rum & a kidney stone in no hurry to traverse my ureter), I ended up going to bed at a pitifully early hour (8 pm) on the 6th, and (of course) awoke shortly after midnight hungry (no dinner) and thirsty. I tried to ignore those conditions, but finally had to give way. And after eating a bit and drinking some water, I decided to finish off Oliver Twist and did. So now I'm thinking that I might well go ahead and start on Nicholas Nickleby today, making July 7, 2022, both Day 16 of Oliver Twist and Day 1 of Nicholas Nickleby...but DDRD 1,710 for both.

So it shall be written. 

So it shall be done.

Postscript: I watched Oliver! today. I was surprised to discover that (1) I enjoyed it quite a bit and (2) I recognized several of the songs: "Food, Glorious Food," "Where Is Love?" & best of all, "Consider Yourself." Oh, also, "I'd Do Anything." 

DDR Day 1 to 1,000: 13,449 pages read

DDR Day 1001 to Day 2000:
(1) Leviathan 63 days, 729 pages
(2) Stalingrad 27 days, 982 pages
(3) Life and Fate 26 days, 880 pages
(4) The Second World War 34 + 32 + 40 + 43 + 31 + 32 days = 212 days, 4,379 pages 
(5) Baron Wenckheim's Homecoming 10 days, 572 pages
(6) The Great Bridge 25 days, 636 pages

(7) The Path Between the Seas 29 days, 698 pages
(8) Blake: Prophet Against Empire, 23 days, 523 pages
(9) Jerusalem 61 days, 1,266 pages
(10) Voice of the Fire 9 days, 320 pages
(11) The Fountainhead 15 days, 720 pages
(12) The Pacific Trilogy: Pacific Crucible 23 days, 640 pages

(13) The Pacific Trilogy: The Conquering Tide 28 days, 656 pages

(14) The Pacific Trilogy: Twilight of the Gods 31 days, 944 pages 

(15) Jazz: Its Evolution and Essence 13 days, 304 pages

(16) Toward Jazz 18 days, 224 pages

(17) The Worlds of Jazz 13 days, 279 pages

(18) To Be or Not...to Bop 14 days, 571 pages

(19) Kind of Blue 4 days, 224 pages

(20) Kind of Blue: Miles Davis and his Masterpiece: 5 days, 256 pages

(21) Miles: The Autobiography 16 days, 445 pages

(21) A Love Supreme: The Story of John Coltrane's Signature Album: 8 days, 287 pages

(22) Ascension: John Coltrane and His Quest 8 days, 304 pages

(23) Living With Music: Ralph Ellison's Jazz Writings 11 days 325 pages

2nd 1K Total: 17,164 pages; Grand Total: 30,613 

(24) The Pickwick Papers 28 days, 983 pages

(25) Oliver Twist 16 days, 542 pages

Again, Amazon Vision

I swear that I'm not going out of my way to find fault with Amazon. Turns out it's just not that hard to find fault, and I keep falling into those crevices.

This, for instance.

I was looking at some just posted Facebook pictures for the Baltimore Fiddle Fair (which I attended 8 years ago and have sorely missed every summer since, hence my subscription to their Facebook Page) and in one of the pictures a guy was holding a book entitled Baltimore Castle by Bernie McCarthy. Well, I needed a look at that, of course, so I Googled, and hit #1 was an Amazon page. According to it, I could obtain a copy of this lovely tome for a mere $15.56. Most of my regular online booksellers didn't even have this book, and those that did were at least $10 more expensive. So good Amazon news from me for a change, right?

But wait.

While I was there on Amazon Island, and while I was thinking of Ireland, specifically Baltimore, I couldn't help but wonder if there were any books about nearby Sherkin Island, which has become my favorite place in this godforsaken world. So I typed "Sherkin Island" into the Amazon search box: Books, and lo and behold, found, amongst other things, this thing of beauty:

I really wanted to read that. For one thing because in my fantasy of fantasies, sometime in the near future I move to Sherkin Island and live out my days reading, drinking, and looking out at the Atlantic Ocean. And this book was written by a guy who actually lived on said Sherkin Island. And $31.04 wasn't TOO terribly awful for this kind of book, right? Although I did have to wonder about the $12.95 delivery fee, which seemed more than a little steep, and which brought the total price up to a dissettling $43.99. Still, I really wanted to read this book, and none of my other online booksellers even knew it existed, so....

But wait! Who is this publisher...this Sherkin Island Marine Station? I went to have a look. And on their website, I found this:

Let's see, €3.00 + €5.70 shipping = . . . $9.13. 

Um...what?

That can't be right. Let's see, current rate of exchange €1 = $1.05, multiply by 8.7 = ... $9.135. See? I knew there had to be a problem. It's $9 and FOURteen cents. 

Next thought: You have got to be shitting me. Amazon is selling this book for $34.85 more than the publisher is? That's almost a 500% mark-up.

FUCK these guys, man.

Make Mine Sherkin Island Marine Station.

A Simple Twist of Fate

Today I finished reading page 287 of Volume II of The Pickwick Papers. Which meant that I had about another week to go on it. But so caught up in my love for Dickens was I...and so sure that I would continue my quest to read all of Dickens' novels in chronological order ...that I went to where the other 34 volumes of Heron Books THE CENTENNIAL DICKENS sat and pulled out Oliver Twist, which was Dickens' second novel. Don't know why I felt the need to do that, but I did. And I put it on the arm of my sofa, where it sat all day.

Until about halfway through Jeopardy!, which I was watching with Jacqueline. And then for some reason I picked the book up from the sofa's arm, took six steps across the room, and put it down on top of another stack of books which sat beneath a lamp.

And at the exact moment that I put the book down, I heard Mayim Bialik read an answer that included the book title Oliver Twist.

Of course it means nothing, but still...that's a pretty weird fucking coincidence, isn't it?

Mo' Better Elif Batuman, aka The Even Completer Complete Elif Batuman Bibliography

Doesn't look like it, but my attempts to reconcile bibliographies found on Wikipedia, on Elif Batuman's web site, from the table of contents of various books, and (especially) from the indices of online magazines were actually pretty time consuming. Not to mention frustrating and exhausting. But now I have it (I think):

The Even Completer Complete Elif Batuman Bibliography
In chronological order, of course.

2005

February 2005 "Babel in California" n+1

This essay also appears in Happiness: Ten Years of n+1  Farrar, Straus and Giroux. And in The Possessed: Adventures with Russian Books and the People Who Read Them Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

September 2005 "Adventures of a Man of Science" n+1 

2006

January 8, 2006 "Cool Heart" The New Yorker 

May 2006 "Short Story & Novel" n+1

May 21, 2006 "The Ice Renaissance" The New Yorker

2008

November 2008 "Summer in Samarkand" n+1

This essay also appears in The Possessed: Adventures with Russian Books and the People Who Read Them Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

2009

February 2009 "The Murder of Leo Tolstoy" Harper's 

This essay also appears in The Best American Essays 2010 Mariner Books. I'm thinking it is probably also the same essay which appears as "Who Killed Tolstoy?" which appears in The Possessed: Adventures with Russian Books and the People Who Read Them Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

April 20, 2009 "The Bells" The New Yorker 

August 24, 2009 "Safe Laughs"The New Yorker

2010

February 16, 2010  The Possessed: Adventures with Russian Books and the People Who Read Them Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Contents: Introduction / Babel in California / Summer in Samarkand / Who Killed Tolstoy? / Summer in Samarkland (Continued) / The House of Ice / Summer in Samarkland (Conclusion) / The Possessed

February 16, 2010 "CSI Pushkin’s House" The New Yorker

February 17, 2010 "Pushkin Reloaded" The New Yorker

February 17, 2010 "Pushkin's Favorite Tree" The New Yorker

February 19, 2010 "Android Karenina" The New Yorker

April 2010 "Summer in Samarkand, Part II" n+1

This essay also appears in The Possessed: Adventures with Russian Books and the People Who Read Them Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

April 12, 2010 "The Memory Kitchen" The New Yorker

September 22, 2010 “Kafka’s Last Trial,” New York Times Magazine 

September 23, 2010 "Get a Real Degree" London Review of Books

December 31, 2010 "From the Critical Impulse, the Growth of Literature" The New York Times

2011

February 27, 2011 "The View from the Stands" The New Yorker

April 21, 2011 "Elif Batuman: Life after a bestseller" The Guardian

September 2011 “A Divine Comedy: Among the Danteans in Florence,” Harper’s

September 5, 2011 "In the World" The New Yorker

October 17, 2011 "Natural Histories" The New Yorker

December 11, 2011 "Turkey’s Ancient Sanctuary" The New Yorker

2012

January 2, 2012 “Why Criticism Matters,” New York Times

May 2, 2012 "The Phantom Matzo Factory" The New Yorker

June 7, 2012 Diary (Orhan Pamuk’s Museum of Innocence) London Review of Books

July 9, 2012 "Talking Drums" The New Yorker 

December 16, 2012 "Stage Mothers" The New Yorker

2013

January 1, 2013 Two Rivers by Carolyn Drake, self-published;  

     accompanied by separate book with a short essay by Batuman

February 1, 2013 "Death in Ankara" The New Yorker

February 15, 2013 "A Meteor in the Russian Sky" The New Yorker

June 1, 2013 "Occupy Gezi: Police Against Protesters in Istanbul" The New Yorker

June 13, 2013 "Lost in Taksim Square" The New Yorker

July 16, 2013 "Istanbul’s Troubled Gardens: Gezi Park’s Flowers" The New Yorker

July 17, 2013 "Istanbul’s Troubled Gardens: Yedikule’s Lettuce" The New Yorker

August 5, 2013 "A Medical Mystery in the Balkans" The New Yorker

August 12, 2013 "Poisoned Land" The New Yorker

This essay also appears in The Best American Travel Writing 2014 Mariner Books.

December 12, 2013 "Eight Reasons Why We Love End-of-the-Year Lists" The New Yorker

2014

February 9, 2014 "Ottomania" The New Yorker

August 22, 2014 "What Does It Mean to Compare Ferguson to Iraq?"

The New Yorker

September 9, 2014 "The Awkward Age" The New Yorker

October 10, 2014 "Marriage Is an Abduction" The New Yorker

December 18, 2014 "The Myth of the Megalith" The New Yorker

2015

March 30, 2015 "Electrified: Adventures in Transcranial Direct-Current Stimulation" The New Yorker

April 7, 2015 "Brontosaurus Rising" The New Yorker

April 13, 2015 "Reading Racist Literature" The New Yorker

August 24, 2015 "The Treasures Under Istanbul" The New Yorker

August 31, 2015 “The Big Dig” The New Yorker

This essay also appears in The Passenger: Turkey, published January 12, 2021.

September 16, 2015 "Palm to Palm with an Ancient Human Relative" The New Yorker

October 5, 2015 "How to Dupe a Dung Beetle" The New Yorker

December 14, 2015 "Hanya Yanagihara’s 'Sex and the City'” The New Yorker

December 24, 2015 "The Ghosts of Christmas: Was Scrooge the First Psychotherapy Patient?" The New Yorker

2016

January 31, 2016 "The Head Scarf, Modern Turkey, and Me" The New Yorker

February 8 and 15, 2016."The Head Scarf, Modern Turkey, and Me" The New Yorker

This essay also appears in The Best American Travel Writing 2017 Mariner Books as "Cover Story."

March 23, 2016 "Vladimir Nabokov, Butterfly Illustrator" The New Yorker

May 13, 2016 "Bison Bison Bison" The New Yorker

August 1, 2016 "Eight Days of the Corpse Flower: A Diary" The New Yorker

August 9, 2016 "Ghosts From Our Past: Both Literally and Figuratively" The New Yorker

August 17, 2016 "Psychos Through the Ages" The New Yorker

December 19–26, 2016 "How to Be a Stoic" The New Yorker

2017

January 15, 2017 "Constructed Worlds" The New Yorker

August 9, 2017 "Time-Travelling with Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary" The New Yorker

November 27, 2017 "Searching for Motives in Mass Shootings" The New Yorker

2018

February 13, 2018 The Idiot Penguin Books

April 30, 2018.“A Theory of Relativity” The New Yorker

April 30, 2018 "Japan's Rent-a-Family Industry" The New Yorker--which must be the same thing as the previous entry, but I haven't yet verified that, and I'm a cautious bibliographer.

November 23, 2018 “Zantedeschia Aethiopica” T Magazine

2019 

November 1, 2019 “The Age of The Age of Innocence“ (adapted from the introduction to the Penguin Classics 100th anniversary reissue of Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence), The New York Times

2020

September 1, 2020.“Can Greek Tragedy Get Us Through The Pandemic?” The New Yorker

2022

January 31, 2022 (print issue of 7 February)“Céline Sciamma’s Quest for a New, Feminist Grammar of Cinema”  The New Yorker

April 25 & May 2, 2022 “The Repugnant Conclusion” The New Yorker

May 24, 2022 Either / Or Penguin Press

Putting this together and looking at it in one fell swoop it really hits me how hard Elif Batuman worked to become a writer. It takes a lot of guts to keep on pushing like this...but in her case, it looks like it paid off, at least. 

Hats off to Elif Batuman!