Tuesday, January 17, 2017

My Father, the Pornographer by Chris Offutt



Read a review of this--again, probably in The New York Times Book Review, as I don't read any other newspapers or magazines--and was interested partially because of the positive review and partially because I thought I recognized the writer's name from Harlan Ellison's Again, Dangerous Visions. Turns out I was mistaken on the latter, but close: the author was the son of the guy who wrote the story ("For Value Received") that appeared in Ellison's anthology, and the son was writing about his father.

It is a fascinating and sometimes horrifying book. Though Chris Offutt writes without bitterness (for the most part), it's hard not to become angry at the outrageous behavior of his father . . .  and the silent complicity of his mother. It's verbal abuse in the first degree, and at times it's cruelty personified.

Even so, it's also obvious that Chris loved his father dearly. This passage, for instance--

"The loss of a parent takes away a kind of umbrella against the inclement weather of life. Regardless of condition--tattered fabric and broken spokes--it had always been at hand, offering the potential of protection and safety."

                                    --not only expresses the vulnerability I have felt myself at the deaths of my parents, but also acknowledges that his dad wasn't The Best by a long shot, but still . . . . 

At one point, Chris tells his mother that his father was the most interesting person he'd ever known (or something of like ilk--I can't seem to find the passage now . . . which is probably a good indication of how fascinating this book can be, as I thought I'd just read it but apparently it was a ways back). And there are times when I can see that. This comment about the Christian cross, for instance:

"The Egyptian ankh symbolized sex and life--the lower portion being a male's genitalia, the upper part an open oval that represented a woman's vulva. According to Dad, the Christians took the ankh and closed the woman up to make the cross, representing the negative attitude toward sex in general and women especially."

I don't know enough about the history of the ankh / cross to know if that's true or not, but it sounds viable . . . and Christians shoah do hate women. So maybe.

This book is also prompting me to examine my own life. For instance, Chris talks about how his father would cut people off if they offended him and never have anything to do with them again. Chris suggested that this might have been due to his father's insecurity or narcissism. And I had to stop and think about the people I've cut out of my life. None of them were for "slight offenses," as Chris suggested was often the case, but the possible personality parallel still bothers me . . . because it's clear that andrew j. offutt was not a very nice person. I haven't cut off that many people in my life . . . but I have cut people off on occasion. The two people Most recently are ex-wife #2 (just about a month ago). I'd have to say that in that case I don't think there's any doubt that severing the relationship was "justified," though--that is, not an indication of insecurity or narcissism on my part. I put up with a lot of evil shit and just plain nastiness from that woman before I finally decided not to take it any more. 

Ahem. I also felt simpatico with Chris Offutt when he talked about how reluctant he was to initiate sexual contact with women. He assumed that they didn't want anything to do with him sexually until they proved otherwise: " . . . I spent enough time with her until she finally made the first move." And oh boy is that me. I could have had a lot more sex if I had just been thinking about what I wanted at the time. I don't know if that's the person I'd have wanted to be, but it's still hard not to regret those missed opportunities with Misses Opportunity.

And the idea that I keep running up on lately--that most of what we do in life is just bullshit, including jobs, football, parties, etc.--appeared in this form: "We mark time until we die." Yes we do, Chris. Yes we do.

I only have 74 pages to go in this book, so I'm going to get back to it now. Just wanted to share. I am thinking that I may need to read some more of Chris Offutt's books in the near near, though. (So far as I can tell he only has 5 other books: Kentucky Straight (1992), The Same River Twice (1993), The Good Brother (1997), Out of the Woods (1999), & No Heroes: A Memoir of Coming Home (2002)-- 2 of which are collections of short stories, 2 of which are memoirs, & 1 of which is a novel. Which makes 3 memoirs total, which is kind of interesting. And the good ol' LFPL has all five of those books. They also have True Blood, for which Chris wrote a couple of episodes, and I have to say I am very surprised that the public library has that on its shelves. Pretty racy show! Ahmo get me some of that, too.





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